


The Vicisviator Agreement

by iColorWithCrayons



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M, Plus some OCs - Freeform, Shenny - Freeform, They're not extremely important though, Time traveling AU, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iColorWithCrayons/pseuds/iColorWithCrayons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheldon Cooper has found a way to change his life, as well as those surrounding him. Will he take a chance he has thought about for years? Will a slightly altercation render life as he knows it meaningless? **Shenny**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

 

"Whatcha doing, Shellybean?" Penny questioned, leaning over the physicist's shoulder as he focused intently on his computer screen.

Sheldon looked back at the blonde, then down at her hand, resting on his shoulder.

She followed his eyes, sighing before removing the hand.

"Sorry, Sweetie, ever since you gave me one of those very special Sheldon Cooper hugs, I just can't keep my hands off of you! Amy better watch out." She giggled, ruffling Sheldon's hair before standing back, grinning at Leonard, who was chuckling from the kitchen.

"Good  _Lord_ , do you even think before you defile my hair? Now, Mr. Denophrio does have my haircut records, but those records contain what my hair goes through in the average time span between haircuts. This is far from average, and I will have to remember to make a special request during my next appointment. Honestly, Leonard, how can you stand it?" He whined, looking first at a beaming Penny in disapproval, then at his roommate, who was struggling to open a jar of pickles.

Sheldon sighed.

How Leonard had been the one to win over Penny would forever mystify him, despite his working knowledge of the entire universe. He was short, lactose intolerant, frequently slowed the group down on account of his asthma, and couldn't understand how changing the thermostat up two degrees impacted the apartment over a four-hour time span.

Yet, there she was, leaning against the counter, holding the jar of pickles she had opened for him, smiling at him as he droned on in his nasally voice about his irrelevant studies in fields, re-answering questions that already had appropriate solutions.

He could hear his mother's voice in the back of his head.

_Now, Shelly, you know the early bird always gets the worm. And we're aiming to get the front pew in Church this morning, so high-tail your little self into your room and get your Sunday suit on right now! Lord knows we need all the Jesus we can get._

In this instance, however, one of the highly coveted front pews was not the worm that Sheldon had set his sights on. Instead, it was the highly coveted beach-blonde neighbor. Granted, Penny belonged to Leonard, because he had called dibs. If nothing else, he had to respect the protocol of the 'dibs' concept. Sheldon's entire world was built off of 'dibs', and the small comforts he had in life because he had called dibs on them. Penny just wasn't one of them.

He snuck one last glance at her before returning to his work, his eyebrows furrowing as he read an equation that he couldn't get to cooperate. Not yet, anyway.

* * *

"Sheldon, the food's here." Leonard announced, breaking Sheldon's concentration as he continued to sketch out possible solutions to the very same formula, four hours later.

He looked up, glancing around at everyone who had gathered in their apartment, without him noticing.

He quickly shook off the sense of daze and stood up to greet his guests. After all, he was Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. He was likely the most interesting person that any of them had the pleasure of knowing. The entire reason they gathered in apartment 4B was to hear his stimulating conversation, along with fun-facts relating to the topics at hand. Or trains. Sheldon did know a lot about trains.

"Hello everybody," he croaked, feeling his legs wobble from underneath him.

"Sheldon, we were all concerned about you. Why didn't you acknowledge our presence when we arrive? Social convention states that the head of a household is always to greet guests upon their arrival." Amy Farrah Fowler demanded, shocked at Sheldon's disregard for the social convention.

"Now, Amy, I know that in the whimsical field of Biology, you're free to come and go with your work, what with your office parties and group lunch breaks. However, I am a  _physicist._ I study the universe. I am constantly looking for the correct answers and pairings within the universe. I believe knowledge precedes social protocol." He reminded her calmly, perching in his spot on the brown leather sofa, as Penny distributed the food.

Amy opened her mouth to argue the importance of biology, but Bernadette quickly cut in, realizing this was a touchy subject for the couple.

"So Leonard, tell us more about your trip." She squeaked.

The group's attention immediately shifted to Leonard, who had recently worked on one of Hawking's projects, aboard a ship for months.

Sheldon, however, kept his focus on Penny, who was still distributing the food.

She finally handed Sheldon his tangerine chicken, along with the special condiments he always requested.

"Thank you, Penny." He whispered, avoiding interrupting Leonard's never-ending story about barnacles getting into the test tubes.

Penny's green eyes widened slightly as a bright smile broke across her face. Sheldon usually interrogated the unfortunate server of his food about every detail involved. He then proceeded to whine that he was not getting  _tangerine_ chicken, but orange chicken instead. A simple thank you was highly out of character for him.

"Sure thing, Sweetie." She replied softly, patting his knee gently before walking over to sit with Leonard.

He nodded to himself before starting in on the chicken, wrinkling his nose as he took his first bite.

Yes, they were still passing off their soggy orange chicken as tangerine chicken. His mandarin lessons with Wolowitz would have to continue. His first confrontation with the owner of Szechuan Palace had not gone the way he had hoped it would.

In the meantime, he would continue eating his chicken, whatever the mysterious sauce happened to be. From his observation, he could see that Penny had appreciated him expressing gratitude over receiving his meal, even if it was incorrect.

"Oh come on, Leonard went on a boat for a little while! I went to  _space!_ How have you all forgotten that so easily?" Howard exclaimed as Sheldon looked over to meet Penny's eyes, attempting his koala smile as he did so. She smiled back uncertainly, before feigning an interest in Howard and Leonard's argument over whose trip was cooler.

_Fascinating,_ Sheldon thought to himself.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

 

"What were you working on all weekend long, Sheldon?" Leonard asked his roommate as they sat in the car, headed for CalTech University.

Sheldon had hardly slept throughout the weekend. When he wasn't staring at his whiteboards, he was fixated on his computer. It was very common for Sheldon to become absorbed with an issue he couldn't resolve immediately, but it was also very common for him to discuss, in great length, just what was bothering him. While the group had appreciated Sheldon's quite nature over the weekend, it was starting to alarm Leonard.

Sheldon looked at him in surprise.

"I am working on a theory. I would explain it to you, but I think it's above your level. It's very intellectually challenging." He responded quickly, turning his head to face the road once again.

Leonard sighed, also focusing on the road once again. Yes, he was still the same old Sheldon, just as condescending and arrogant as ever.

Still, Sheldon's underestimation of Leonard's intelligence had gotten the best of him.

"Oh, come on. I just did work for Hawking! I think I can understand the concept of whatever is troubling you. Or, are you afraid that I'm going to solve it if you tell me, and win the Nobel Prize first?" Leonard questioned, smirking at Sheldon.

Sheldon huffed in response, glowering back at Leonard, his bright blue eyes brimming with indigence.

"Are you not going to speak to me now?" Leonard chuckled after a few minutes of silence.

Sheldon did not respond. Instead, he placed his fingers on his temples, staring at Leonard with a furious look on his face.

"For God's sake Sheldon, you can't choke people with the force!" Leonard yelled in frustration, pulling into the parking lot of CalTech quickly, eager to get away from the nut job that he called his roommate.

Sheldon darted out of the car like a spooked deer as Leonard rested his head on the steering wheel of his car in frustration.

* * *

"He just ran off? He didn't even talk to you about how stupid you are, or how he could make a death ray? Wow, Dr. Doom is really not stepping up to the plate, here." Howard said as he walked down the hall with Leonard and Raj, listening to Leonard complain about Sheldon's behavior.

"If you ask me, you got off easy, dude. Sheldon can talk for _ever_ about  _toast._ Asking him what's bothering him is like asking him to recite every decimal of pi that his idedic brain can remember. It's tedious, and usually leaves you with a headache." Raj commented, looking around the hallway for any sign of his co-worker.

Leonard shrugged, toying with the safety goggles in his hands.

"You don't think it has anything to do with my trip, do you? I know that he was trying to talk me out of going, but I just assumed it was because my departure would be an inconvenience to him. Do you think he might have been...jealous?" He questioned hesitantly, looking at Howard and Raj curiously.

He wasn't even sure that Sheldon was  _capable_ of human emotions. Even if he was, Leonard was almost certain that jealousy was not an emotion he was familiar with. Sure, Sheldon had asked Amy to be his girlfriend because she had accepted an offer to go on a date with Stewart, but Sheldon knew he was better-off than Stewart was.  _Everyone_ was better off than Stewart. And Sheldon had always been condescending towards Leonard. He had never asked for help, had never expressed an interest in Leonard's work, and was certainly never impressed with the small feats Leonard accomplished.

Yet, there was something strange going on with the genius, that was for certain.

Howard and Raj laughed at Leonard's suggestion as he continued to mull over Sheldon's behavior.

"Okay, so he's not jealous, what do you think is wrong with him?" Leonard questioned, looking at the pair expectantly, irritated that they had refuted his hypothesis so quickly, without even giving it a little thought.

"You're asking me what's wrong with Sheldon? If I could figure out what was wrong with the bastard, I'd win a Nobel Peace Prize." Howard responded, rolling his eyes.

"I still think he's an alien sent to spy on us, and discover our weaknesses. Mine is tiramasu and A Walk to Remember." Raj chimed in with a content smile.

Leonard and Howard stared at him, causing him to frown, taking a defensive stance.

"What? He was Jamie's miracle. That's beautiful, dude, you can't deny it."

Leonard shook his head, pushing the door open to his office to escape the argument that Howard and Raj were having about chick-flicks and Italian desserts.

* * *

Raj was smiling to himself, thinking about the outing he had set up with Howard, to go get tiramasu with him and Bernadette on Anything Can Happen Thursday, when he walked into his office.

On the other side of the office, Sheldon was leaning against his desk, glowering at his whiteboard, which had hundreds of variables and numbers scribbled on it.

Raj peered at it, hoping to get a look at what had been driving Sheldon crazy (well,  _crazier_ ), but was unable to make sense of any of it.

"What are we working on today, Dr. Cooper?" He asked with a smile.

Sheldon looked at Raj in surprise, as if he had been snuck up on.

"Dr. Koothrappali, you will resume the work you began on Friday. This is the workplace. You can't throw your work all willie-nillie because you saw someone else's whiteboard, now can you?" He responded hastily.

"What about your work from Friday?" Raj reminded him, offended that he was being excluded.

"I always finish my afternoon work on Friday afternoon. Really, Rajesh, read the PDF I send everyone of my schedule. You can download it right to your phone." Sheldon reminded him, returning his focus to his whiteboard.

Raj hung his head, pulling his formula sheet out of his desk drawer to continue his work from Friday.

* * *

Sheldon set down his dry erase marker, frowning at the whiteboard in front of him.

He was just a few variables away from having his answer, but those few variables were proving to be the most difficult. The task was too delicate to simply guess and check, yet he could see no other way to work out the equation.

Taking a moment to sanitize his hands, which were likely crawling with the chemical residue of the marker, he tried to clear his mind of everything but the variables. If he just adjusted the velocity of the equation slightly, he could modify the structure of the machine, but that still wasn't quite enough. Perhaps if he focused on the atomic structures involved, instead of the engineering. Yes, that would be much simpler.

There was a knock on the door, breaking his concentration.

He grunted in frustration, as he looked to see the cause of his distraction.

"Oh, lunch time! I heard they have the little pudding cups today. I know they contain gelatin, but I swear to cow, they are worth it." Raj said, smiling from ear to ear as he jumped up, joining Howard and Leonard at the door.

"Are you coming, Sheldon?" Leonard questioned, trying to get a good look at Sheldon's whiteboard.

Sheldon let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head at Leonard.

"Of course I am. This is lunch time. When else would I go and get lunch? Honestly, does  _anyone_ read the schedule I send?"

Leonard, Raj, and Howard all rolled their eyes in unison as they walked down the hallway, receiving a lecture on the importance of maintaining a schedule as the headed towards the cafeteria.

* * *

"Hey there, Sheldor, what are your big plans for the evening? Pizza and vintage video games?" Penny asked as Sheldon approached the mailbox next to hers later that evening, a determined look plastered on his face.

He glanced at her.

"Hello Penny. You know that this is pizza night. However, because of Wolowitz's plans with Bernadette, video game night seems to have disappeared right before my eyes. Say, what are you doing this evening?" Sheldon asked, looking down at his mail as he waited for his blonde neighbor's response.

It had been days since he had spoken to her one-on-one. Exactly five days; ever since Leonard had returned to Pasadena, he had occupied the majority of Penny's limited free time.

"Oh, probably just writing bad checks, and searching the internet for shoes I can't afford. Why, did you want to kick my ass at 3D chess again?" She asked with an amused smile.

Sheldon shook his head quickly.

"Leonard is home. I always play 3D chess with Leonard. You simply served as practice until Leonard returned. Moving on, I would like to visit the mall this evening. I believe I need new clothes. One of my pants was stained by a dry erase marker over the weekend. Now I only own eight pairs." He explained.

They began to walk up the stairs together.

"Life just isn't the same without nine pairs of pants." Penny agreed sarcastically, nodding her head.

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon guessed.

"Bingo." Penny replied, smiling at him.

Sheldon smiled, nodding his head before continuing.

"You need to take me to the mall tonight."

"What? Sheldon, you really can't go another night without nine pairs of pants? Why don't you ask Leonard to take you?" Penny whined, her shoulders slumping as Sheldon spared her an offended scowl.

"Leonard is working late to make sense of the data they collected overseas. Penny. I told you, I own nine pairs of pants. I must purchase a new pair before I can dispose of the pair that has been ruined." He reminded her.

Penny sighed.

She had worked a  _long_ double shift at the Cheesecake Factory, and did not want to spend the remainder of the evening shooing Sheldon away from anything plaid. Then again, if anyone needed help shopping, it was Sheldon Cooper.

Penny chewed her upper lip before responding.

"Can I dress you up?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know, make you hot. Come on, Sheldon, I've had a hard day. The  _least_ you could do would be to let me have a little fun while I'm running your errands with you. Please?" She questioned, smiling from ear to ear.

Sheldon looked at her in surprise, feeling increasingly uncomfortable as she continued to plead.

"Oh, alright. I suppose I can be your Ken doll for the evening. It's my fault, I should have gone to Mr. Denophrio immediately after you disrupted my follicles. Oh, I feel like a teenage heart-throb again." Sheldon murmured, flipping his hair as he followed Penny to her apartment.

He inhaled sharply to keep from screaming as he entered the chaotic mess that was Penny's apartment.

"You caught me, Dr. Cooper. I can't resist a man with disrupted follicles." Penny teased, touching her index finger to his nose quickly before entering her bedroom, and shutting the door.

Sheldon felt his nose tingle as he stood awkwardly next to the couch.

Penny's junk was in his spot. He couldn't sit on the junk, but he also couldn't touch Penny's assorted belongings, for fear of what could be lingering among each surface.

Penny returned to the living area quickly, no longer sporting her Cheesecake Factory uniform, but instead, wearing an ill-fitted tank top, along with a pair of bright athletic shorts.

"We're not going running."

"I know that."

"Then why are you wearing running clothes? Running clothes are for going running."

Penny sighed, closing her eyes, and counting to ten.

"This is comfortable, and after a long day of working, I just want to be comfortable. Come on, let's go to the mall and get you some new pants."

They shuffled out the door, down the stairs, and into Penny's beat-up little car.

* * *

"Penny, I look ridiculous." Sheldon complained, looking at himself in the dressing room mirror.

"Oh, come on, just come out and show me!" She exclaimed from the bench outside of his dressing room.

Sheldon sighed, opening the door and scowling at her.

She immediately stood up and approached him, grinning from ear to ear as she circled him like a hawk.

"Sheldon, you look hot! You  _have_ to get this. Amy would absolutely love it!" She squealed, adjusting the collar of the button down shirt she had forced him into.

He glared down at her.

"You really think this looks sharp?"

Penny laughed, shaking her head, causing her blonde curls to spill over her shoulders.

"Sweetie, you have  _got_ to learn to speak like a normal human being. But yes, you look very sharp. Come on, get changed back into your clothes, and we'll go check out." She said, smiling at Sheldon as he darted back into the dressing room.

He re-examined himself in the mirror, once the door was shut.

The collar felt terribly uncomfortable around his neck, and the jeans Penny had selected were an unwelcome substitute for his usual chinos. He felt utterly ridiculous.

Yet, Penny had claimed to like the clothes that he was wearing. It was helpful to know what type of appearance Penny desired. The information would likely aid Sheldon in future endeavors.

He quickly changed out of the clothes, returning to his normal, safe, clothing.

As he proceeded to the register, an excited Penny at his heels, he took one last glance at the mound of clothing in his arms. Penny had selected every article of clothing in the pile. He had not selected a pair of pants, like he had originally anticipated. He should have given Penny a strike on the spot for swatting a pair of chinos out of his hands. He should have refused to continue on the errand until she agreed to allow him to shop in peace. He should have done many things, yet there he was, holding clothes he did not particularly want, in the hopes of impressing Penny.

He looked at her beaming back at him, then looked away shyly.

* * *

"That was actually really fun. Thank you for an entertaining evening, Sheldon. Let me know how Amy likes your new clothes." Penny said as they approached their separate doors.

Sheldon nodded, growing increasingly aware of the weight of the unwanted clothes, tossed carelessly into multiple shopping bags.

"Goodnight, Penny."

"Goodnight, Sheldon."

"Penny, wait."

"What's up, Buttercup?"

"If...if Leonard continues to work late this week," he muttered, distracting himself by picking lint off of his sleeve, "would we be able to continue spending time together, as we did prior to his return?"

"Of course, Sweetie, just name the time and place."

Sheldon nodded.

"Goodnight again, Penny."

"Goodnight again, Sheldon."

He walked through the door, glancing at his whiteboard as he did so.

He froze.

Sheldon had figured it out. The variables suddenly came crashing into his brain, quickly followed by a plan to make the entire endeavor plausible.

He had done it.

Sheldon Cooper had come up with the formula for time travel.

 


	3. Chapter 3

"What were you working on all weekend long, Sheldon?" Leonard asked his roommate as they sat in the car, headed for CalTech University.

Sheldon had hardly slept throughout the weekend. When he wasn't staring at his whiteboards, he was fixated on his computer. It was very common for Sheldon to become absorbed with an issue he couldn't resolve immediately, but it was also very common for him to discuss, in great length, just what was bothering him. While the group had appreciated Sheldon's quite nature over the weekend, it was starting to alarm Leonard.

Sheldon looked at him in surprise.

"I am working on a theory. I would explain it to you, but I think it's above your level. It's very intellectually challenging." He responded quickly, turning his head to face the road once again.

Leonard sighed, also focusing on the road once again. Yes, he was still the same old Sheldon, just as condescending and arrogant as ever.

Still, Sheldon's underestimation of Leonard's intelligence had gotten the best of him.

"Oh, come on. I just did work for Hawking! I think I can understand the concept of whatever is troubling you. Or, are you afraid that I'm going to solve it if you tell me, and win the Nobel Prize first?" Leonard questioned, smirking at Sheldon.

Sheldon huffed in response, glowering back at Leonard, his bright blue eyes brimming with indigence.

"Are you not going to speak to me now?" Leonard chuckled after a few minutes of silence.

Sheldon did not respond. Instead, he placed his fingers on his temples, staring at Leonard with a furious look on his face.

"For God's sake Sheldon, you can't choke people with the force!" Leonard yelled in frustration, pulling into the parking lot of CalTech quickly, eager to get away from the nut job that he called his roommate.

Sheldon darted out of the car like a spooked deer as Leonard rested his head on the steering wheel of his car in frustration.

* * *

"He just ran off? He didn't even talk to you about how stupid you are, or how he could make a death ray? Wow, Dr. Doom is really not stepping up to the plate, here." Howard said as he walked down the hall with Leonard and Raj, listening to Leonard complain about Sheldon's behavior.

"If you ask me, you got off easy, dude. Sheldon can talk for _ever_ about  _toast._ Asking him what's bothering him is like asking him to recite every decimal of pi that his idedic brain can remember. It's tedious, and usually leaves you with a headache." Raj commented, looking around the hallway for any sign of his co-worker.

Leonard shrugged, toying with the safety goggles in his hands.

"You don't think it has anything to do with my trip, do you? I know that he was trying to talk me out of going, but I just assumed it was because my departure would be an inconvenience to him. Do you think he might have been...jealous?" He questioned hesitantly, looking at Howard and Raj curiously.

He wasn't even sure that Sheldon was  _capable_ of human emotions. Even if he was, Leonard was almost certain that jealousy was not an emotion he was familiar with. Sure, Sheldon had asked Amy to be his girlfriend because she had accepted an offer to go on a date with Stewart, but Sheldon knew he was better-off than Stewart was.  _Everyone_ was better off than Stewart. And Sheldon had always been condescending towards Leonard. He had never asked for help, had never expressed an interest in Leonard's work, and was certainly never impressed with the small feats Leonard accomplished.

Yet, there was something strange going on with the genius, that was for certain.

Howard and Raj laughed at Leonard's suggestion as he continued to mull over Sheldon's behavior.

"Okay, so he's not jealous, what do you think is wrong with him?" Leonard questioned, looking at the pair expectantly, irritated that they had refuted his hypothesis so quickly, without even giving it a little thought.

"You're asking me what's wrong with Sheldon? If I could figure out what was wrong with the bastard, I'd win a Nobel Peace Prize." Howard responded, rolling his eyes.

"I still think he's an alien sent to spy on us, and discover our weaknesses. Mine is tiramasu and A Walk to Remember." Raj chimed in with a content smile.

Leonard and Howard stared at him, causing him to frown, taking a defensive stance.

"What? He was Jamie's miracle. That's beautiful, dude, you can't deny it."

Leonard shook his head, pushing the door open to his office to escape the argument that Howard and Raj were having about chick-flicks and Italian desserts.

* * *

Raj was smiling to himself, thinking about the outing he had set up with Howard, to go get tiramasu with him and Bernadette on Anything Can Happen Thursday, when he walked into his office.

On the other side of the office, Sheldon was leaning against his desk, glowering at his whiteboard, which had hundreds of variables and numbers scribbled on it.

Raj peered at it, hoping to get a look at what had been driving Sheldon crazy (well,  _crazier_ ), but was unable to make sense of any of it.

"What are we working on today, Dr. Cooper?" He asked with a smile.

Sheldon looked at Raj in surprise, as if he had been snuck up on.

"Dr. Koothrappali, you will resume the work you began on Friday. This is the workplace. You can't throw your work all willie-nillie because you saw someone else's whiteboard, now can you?" He responded hastily.

"What about your work from Friday?" Raj reminded him, offended that he was being excluded.

"I always finish my afternoon work on Friday afternoon. Really, Rajesh, read the PDF I send everyone of my schedule. You can download it right to your phone." Sheldon reminded him, returning his focus to his whiteboard.

Raj hung his head, pulling his formula sheet out of his desk drawer to continue his work from Friday.

* * *

Sheldon set down his dry erase marker, frowning at the whiteboard in front of him.

He was just a few variables away from having his answer, but those few variables were proving to be the most difficult. The task was too delicate to simply guess and check, yet he could see no other way to work out the equation.

Taking a moment to sanitize his hands, which were likely crawling with the chemical residue of the marker, he tried to clear his mind of everything but the variables. If he just adjusted the velocity of the equation slightly, he could modify the structure of the machine, but that still wasn't quite enough. Perhaps if he focused on the atomic structures involved, instead of the engineering. Yes, that would be much simpler.

There was a knock on the door, breaking his concentration.

He grunted in frustration, as he looked to see the cause of his distraction.

"Oh, lunch time! I heard they have the little pudding cups today. I know they contain gelatin, but I swear to cow, they are worth it." Raj said, smiling from ear to ear as he jumped up, joining Howard and Leonard at the door.

"Are you coming, Sheldon?" Leonard questioned, trying to get a good look at Sheldon's whiteboard.

Sheldon let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head at Leonard.

"Of course I am. This is lunch time. When else would I go and get lunch? Honestly, does  _anyone_ read the schedule I send?"

Leonard, Raj, and Howard all rolled their eyes in unison as they walked down the hallway, receiving a lecture on the importance of maintaining a schedule as the headed towards the cafeteria.

* * *

"Hey there, Sheldor, what are your big plans for the evening? Pizza and vintage video games?" Penny asked as Sheldon approached the mailbox next to hers later that evening, a determined look plastered on his face.

He glanced at her.

"Hello Penny. You know that this is pizza night. However, because of Wolowitz's plans with Bernadette, video game night seems to have disappeared right before my eyes. Say, what are you doing this evening?" Sheldon asked, looking down at his mail as he waited for his blonde neighbor's response.

It had been days since he had spoken to her one-on-one. Exactly five days; ever since Leonard had returned to Pasadena, he had occupied the majority of Penny's limited free time.

"Oh, probably just writing bad checks, and searching the internet for shoes I can't afford. Why, did you want to kick my ass at 3D chess again?" She asked with an amused smile.

Sheldon shook his head quickly.

"Leonard is home. I always play 3D chess with Leonard. You simply served as practice until Leonard returned. Moving on, I would like to visit the mall this evening. I believe I need new clothes. One of my pants was stained by a dry erase marker over the weekend. Now I only own eight pairs." He explained.

They began to walk up the stairs together.

"Life just isn't the same without nine pairs of pants." Penny agreed sarcastically, nodding her head.

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon guessed.

"Bingo." Penny replied, smiling at him.

Sheldon smiled, nodding his head before continuing.

"You need to take me to the mall tonight."

"What? Sheldon, you really can't go another night without nine pairs of pants? Why don't you ask Leonard to take you?" Penny whined, her shoulders slumping as Sheldon spared her an offended scowl.

"Leonard is working late to make sense of the data they collected overseas. Penny. I told you, I own nine pairs of pants. I must purchase a new pair before I can dispose of the pair that has been ruined." He reminded her.

Penny sighed.

She had worked a  _long_ double shift at the Cheesecake Factory, and did not want to spend the remainder of the evening shooing Sheldon away from anything plaid. Then again, if anyone needed help shopping, it was Sheldon Cooper.

Penny chewed her upper lip before responding.

"Can I dress you up?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know, make you hot. Come on, Sheldon, I've had a hard day. The  _least_ you could do would be to let me have a little fun while I'm running your errands with you. Please?" She questioned, smiling from ear to ear.

Sheldon looked at her in surprise, feeling increasingly uncomfortable as she continued to plead.

"Oh, alright. I suppose I can be your Ken doll for the evening. It's my fault, I should have gone to Mr. Denophrio immediately after you disrupted my follicles. Oh, I feel like a teenage heart-throb again." Sheldon murmured, flipping his hair as he followed Penny to her apartment.

He inhaled sharply to keep from screaming as he entered the chaotic mess that was Penny's apartment.

"You caught me, Dr. Cooper. I can't resist a man with disrupted follicles." Penny teased, touching her index finger to his nose quickly before entering her bedroom, and shutting the door.

Sheldon felt his nose tingle as he stood awkwardly next to the couch.

Penny's junk was in his spot. He couldn't sit on the junk, but he also couldn't touch Penny's assorted belongings, for fear of what could be lingering among each surface.

Penny returned to the living area quickly, no longer sporting her Cheesecake Factory uniform, but instead, wearing an ill-fitted tank top, along with a pair of bright athletic shorts.

"We're not going running."

"I know that."

"Then why are you wearing running clothes? Running clothes are for going running."

Penny sighed, closing her eyes, and counting to ten.

"This is comfortable, and after a long day of working, I just want to be comfortable. Come on, let's go to the mall and get you some new pants."

They shuffled out the door, down the stairs, and into Penny's beat-up little car.

* * *

"Penny, I look ridiculous." Sheldon complained, looking at himself in the dressing room mirror.

"Oh, come on, just come out and show me!" She exclaimed from the bench outside of his dressing room.

Sheldon sighed, opening the door and scowling at her.

She immediately stood up and approached him, grinning from ear to ear as she circled him like a hawk.

"Sheldon, you look hot! You  _have_ to get this. Amy would absolutely love it!" She squealed, adjusting the collar of the button down shirt she had forced him into.

He glared down at her.

"You really think this looks sharp?"

Penny laughed, shaking her head, causing her blonde curls to spill over her shoulders.

"Sweetie, you have  _got_ to learn to speak like a normal human being. But yes, you look very sharp. Come on, get changed back into your clothes, and we'll go check out." She said, smiling at Sheldon as he darted back into the dressing room.

He re-examined himself in the mirror, once the door was shut.

The collar felt terribly uncomfortable around his neck, and the jeans Penny had selected were an unwelcome substitute for his usual chinos. He felt utterly ridiculous.

Yet, Penny had claimed to like the clothes that he was wearing. It was helpful to know what type of appearance Penny desired. The information would likely aid Sheldon in future endeavors.

He quickly changed out of the clothes, returning to his normal, safe, clothing.

As he proceeded to the register, an excited Penny at his heels, he took one last glance at the mound of clothing in his arms. Penny had selected every article of clothing in the pile. He had not selected a pair of pants, like he had originally anticipated. He should have given Penny a strike on the spot for swatting a pair of chinos out of his hands. He should have refused to continue on the errand until she agreed to allow him to shop in peace. He should have done many things, yet there he was, holding clothes he did not particularly want, in the hopes of impressing Penny.

He looked at her beaming back at him, then looked away shyly.

* * *

"That was actually really fun. Thank you for an entertaining evening, Sheldon. Let me know how Amy likes your new clothes." Penny said as they approached their separate doors.

Sheldon nodded, growing increasingly aware of the weight of the unwanted clothes, tossed carelessly into multiple shopping bags.

"Goodnight, Penny."

"Goodnight, Sheldon."

"Penny, wait."

"What's up, Buttercup?"

"If...if Leonard continues to work late this week," he muttered, distracting himself by picking lint off of his sleeve, "would we be able to continue spending time together, as we did prior to his return?"

"Of course, Sweetie, just name the time and place."

Sheldon nodded.

"Goodnight again, Penny."

"Goodnight again, Sheldon."

He walked through the door, glancing at his whiteboard as he did so.

He froze.

Sheldon had figured it out. The variables suddenly came crashing into his brain, quickly followed by a plan to make the entire endeavor plausible.

He had done it.

Sheldon Cooper had come up with the formula for time travel.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

 

Sheldon opened his eyes, and immediately looked down to take inventory of his limbs.

Yes, everything was there. The machine had worked efficiently, just as Dr. Avery had predicted.

"Good  _Lord,_ " he whispered to himself, throwing a glance over his shoulder, where the time machine had been in 2013.

He took a deep breath, and began walking up the stairs to his apartment, carefully feeling his way through the dimly lit hallways.

"Leonard?" Sheldon questioned, walking into his apartment, glancing around the apartment to see if anything was different from the way it had been in 2013.

Yes, the equations on the whiteboard were old, things he had already resolved.

"What the hell Sheldon, it's midnight." Leonard groaned, emerging from his bedroom.

"I would like to go to the mall tomorrow morning." He responded shortly.

Leonard took a minute to size Sheldon up before responding to his bizarre late-night request.

"Did someone kidnap you, and change you into grownup clothes?" He questioned, observing Sheldon's deviance from his usual style.

Sheldon looked down at his clothes, and shrugged simply.

"I have decided to experiment with new clothing, and the effects it may cause. You need to take me to the mall tomorrow morning."

"Fine, Sheldon, we'll go before going to the sperm bank. I can't imagine that you have too much money to spend, though. Can I please go back to bed, now? I don't have time for all of this." Leonard grumbled, shuffling towards his bedroom, not waiting for Sheldon to respond.

Sheldon nodded to himself, walking towards his own bedroom.

He went into his closet, grabbing an envelope, containing two tickets that his mother had sent him earlier in that month. He pulled a piece of paper with a number he had scribbled on it, back in 2013, from his pocket, and set it down on his night stand with the envelope, before changing into his Thursday pajamas.

He tucked himself into bed, replaying how the next day had worked out for him in the past. Penny would move into her apartment the next day, as he and Leonard were returning. Leonard would attempt to speak to Penny, immediately believing that Sheldon would be uninterested in the woman who was destined to change his entire existence.

He mentally reminded himself to call dibs on her as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"I still don't understand why you wanted to buy all of these new clothes, Sheldon. Are you suddenly trying to be one of the cool kids? Because I've got to tell you, it's a little late in the game for that," Leonard teased, nodding towards the shopping bags in Sheldon's hands.

Sheldon shot Leonard a dirty look.

"Fitting in with social niches is not my primary concern, Leonard. As I said before, I am doing an experiment on the difference a new wardrobe makes. Oh, I must stop here. You may go find your car in the parking lot. I will meet you out there." Sheldon said, stopping short in front of a drug store.

Leonard raised his eyebrows at Sheldon. His neurotic roommate  _never_ asked to simply meet him in the car. He was always complaining about how someone might mug him in the middle of the mall, or how someone could kidnap him and interrogate him on his way out to the parking lot.

He decided it was best not to question it. Sheldon was already acting out of character. He could be attempting to make some illegal chemical compound out of things found in a drugstore. If the government asked, Leonard didn't want to be able to say he had any part in that.

Sheldon sighed a breath of relief as Leonard shuffled away, throwing one last curious glance over his shoulder before making a break for the parking lot.

Sheldon entered the drugstore, pulling the slip of paper with a number written down out of his pocket as he approached the cashier.

"Hello, good sir. I would like to purchase a lottery ticket with this number on it, please." He mumbled, looking over his shoulder as he spoke to the foreign gentleman at the counter.

The man looked down at the number, back at Sheldon then turned around to get the lottery ticket.

"Here you are. That will be ten dollars."

Sheldon obliged, handing the man a crisp ten dollar bill.

"Good luck," the man sniggered as Sheldon began to walk away.

Sheldon glanced back at the man.

"I don't believe in luck."

He turned and walked towards the parking lot, throwing nervous glances over his shoulder as he did so. He was a brilliant physicist with the knowledge of how to create a time machine. He was a very valuable member of society, any criminal or rouge foreign agent could kidnap him, and attempt to torture him for this information.

He let out a relieved sigh as he reached the passenger's side of Leonard's car without any trouble.

"I told myself that I wouldn't ask, but what the hell did you need to do in that drug store? Please tell me that government agents aren't going to show up at our apartment again." Leonard questioned.

Sheldon glared at Leonard before answering.

"I still don't see why I couldn't simply  _attempt_ to create an alternate power source. However, this has nothing to do with illegal elements. I simply needed more hand sanitizer for my desk." He replied, trying to regulate his eye twitch as he turned to face the window, where Leonard wouldn't see him.

Luckily, Leonard wasn't interested in the answer, beyond hearing that Sheldon's activity was not illegal.

* * *

"I can't believe they insisted on paying us in checks!" Leonard exclaimed as they drove home from the sperm bank.

Sheldon shrugged, not as concerned about the issue as he had been six years ago.

Once they reached the building, Sheldon began to ramble off the same facts about stairs that he had six years ago. He had said them before, he knew, but Leonard had never heard the facts before. Time travel didn't mean Leonard should get cheated out of valuable knowledge.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Sheldon saw Leonard glance in the direction of Penny's apartment.

The door was hanging wide-open in a careless manner that was classically Penny, exposing the blonde beauty to anyone who ventured by. It hadn't taken Leonard long to notice at all.

Sheldon placed his hand on Leonard's chest, pushing him back towards the door swiftly, before Penny noticed them.

"Dibs." He hissed in Leonard's ear.

Leonard froze, looking at him in utter confusion.

"Dibs?" He echoed under his breath.

"Yes, dibs. I have placed our new blonde neighbor under dibs." Sheldon responded quietly, nodding towards Leonard, before setting his shopping bags down at the door, with the exception of the lottery ticket, which he placed in his pocket.

Penny turned around as Sheldon approached the door, with Leonard at his heels.

"Oh, hi." She said cheerfully, smiling hesitantly at the two men.

"Hi," Leonard and Sheldon chorused.

They paused to scowl at each other, before returning their focus to Penny, who smiled back awkwardly.

"I'm Sheldon, this is Leonard. We are roommates, for the time being. We live across the hall." Sheldon explained, not taking his eyes off of Penny, observing how she had looked six years ago.

Her hair was shorter, and she had bangs. He preferred her hair as it had been in 2013, but he certainly could not object to her appearance in 2007. She was aesthetically pleasing, as she always had been.

"Oh, well, then I guess I'm your new neighbor! I'm Penny," She said cheerfully, approaching the boys, who were standing in the doorway.

"It's very nice to meet you, Penny. Say, is that a Nebraskan accent?" Sheldon questioned, knowing that while Penny had been eager to escape the small town she had been raised in, she still had an odd sense of pride when it came to the Midwest.

"Yeah, it is, actually. How did you know that?" She questioned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she smiled up at Sheldon.

Sheldon shrugged.

"I suppose I'm very skilled at recognizing accents, among many other things. Moving forward, Leonard and I are about to enjoy our lunch. We brought home Indian food, and we would very much enjoy your company, if you would like to join us." He said, thinking back on all of the dining invites he had heard Leonard make over the years.

He was relieved when Penny smiled. He had done it correctly. Noted.

Leonard held the takeout bag up to Penny's face.

"I know that moving is stressful, and I find that when I'm undergoing stress, good food and good company can serve as a sense of relief. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don't think I have to tell you how important a clean colon is." He stammered, his face turning red as Sheldon and Penny both stared at him curiously.

"Leonard, I don't think a reference to bowel movements is entirely appropriate in a luncheon invitation." Sheldon mumbled as Penny stared at the two, clearly puzzled.

"Well, it's very nice of you two to invite me over to eat. I'd love to," Penny smiled, following the boys to their apartment, where Sheldon picked up his bags, moving them into his bedroom as Leonard stammered, trying to say something more appropriate to Penny.

Sheldon couldn't help but feel both exasperated and pleased with Leonard's feeble attempts at speaking to Penny. While Sheldon was aware of his lack of social aptitude, it seemed that Leonard was hindered by his unfamiliarity with Penny.

He would no longer have to worry about Leonard as a factor when it came to Penny.

"Wow, what's all of this writing?" Penny questioned as Sheldon walked out of his bedroom, her eyes fixated on Sheldon's whiteboard.

Leonard moved forward to stop her from touching a variable, but Sheldon quickly approached the whiteboard, draped his arm over the upper edge of the whiteboard, and leaned forward slightly.

"That's my work," He muttered, watching her study the board.

Leonard stopped in his tracks, staring at Sheldon in shock.

"Wow," She whispered.

"Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics, some string theory doodling. I like to write everything out just to have a good look at it,"

"Wait, so you're like one of those beautiful mind, high IQ, genius people?" Penny asked with an eager smile.

Sheldon paused.

"Yeah," He responded quietly, looking down at his shoes.

"This is really impressive."

Sheldon felt the same rush of euphoria as he received yet another unexpected, unsolicited compliment from Penny.

He knew that his work was impressive. His work would have been impressive six years into the future, had he not already established it. He should not have valued the approval of Penny, a  _waitress_ as much as he did. He was giving her entirely too much power.

Yet, he couldn't seem to take it away.

He was enjoying the rush he received when he gained Penny's admiration.

"I have a board, too!" Leonard squeaked, in the attempt to draw Penny's attention away from Sheldon.

Sheldon snorted.

"I would hardly call that a  _board,_ Leonard."

Leonard shot Sheldon a glare as Penny looked between the two scientists curiously.

"Leonard is an experimental physicist, he spends his time conducting experiments that usually have a generally accepted solution, already." Sheldon explained to Penny in a low voice.

She nodded, looking puzzled as Leonard stared back at Sheldon darkly.

"Maybe we should just eat. You guys can tell me more about your jobs, and we can get to know each other a little better." Penny suggested meekly, clearly uncomfortable with the noticeable tension between Leonard and Sheldon.

Both the men looked at her and agreed.

Penny smiled in relief, and immediately plopped down in Sheldon's spot. Leonard looked at Sheldon expectantly, a smile growing on his face as Sheldon stared at Penny.

Sheldon closed his eyes, exhaling heavily.

"Penny, you're in my spot."

She looked back at him, momentarily confused, before patting the couch cushion next to Sheldon's spot.

"Come sit next to me."

Sheldon looked at the smiling blonde, and shook his head. He knew that she could adapt to his patterns and habits; she had done it right before his eyes, before he had regressed back to 2007. Teaching her about his spot would simply start the lessons over again.

"No, you do not understand. That is  _my spot._ You see, in the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by opening windows there and there..." Sheldon pointed to each window he referred to, "it faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion."

Penny stared at him blankly, before standing up, and moving over, so Sheldon could sit in his spot.

"Thank you," he said, moving to sit in his favorite location.

Leonard grinned to himself as he sat down in his usual arm chair.

"So, I know this is sort of a lot to ask, but do you think I could use your shower? Mine isn't working yet, and I'm not sure when the maintenance man is going to have time to look at it." The blonde asked slowly, looking at Sheldon cautiously.

"Sure, of course, mi casa es su casa!" Leonard chirped, before Sheldon could respond.

"What?" Penny asked in confusion.

Sheldon rolled his eyes at Leonard.

"That is very poor Spanish for the phrase 'my house is your house'," he explained, exasperated with Leonard's attempts to impress Penny, "it is not appropriate, of course, as we are not in a house, nor are we Hispanic. However, the sentiment behind the statement stands. You may make yourself comfortable until your apartment is fully functional."

She nodded slowly, still slightly confused.

"Okay...thank you, then."

Sheldon nodded, attempting to smile at her before beginning to eat his meal.

* * *

"Would you like to explain to me just what the hell is going on?" Leonard demanded the second he heard the shower start in their bathroom.

"I believe Penny is showering. My apologies, Leonard, I was under the impression that you had also approved of the situation." Sheldon responded, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as Leonard glared at him, his arms crossed against his chest.

"No, I mean what the hell is going on with you and Penny? Since when have you called dibs on a woman? Since when have you  _wanted_ a woman?" Leonard inquired loudly.

Sheldon glanced towards the bathroom door nervously, before turning to look at Leonard again.

"I do not believe this is any of your business." Sheldon murmured quietly.

He did not like being treated as if he were a lesser human being. While he was a legendary physicist with a superior work ethic, he was still, above all things, a man. Leonard seemed to forget this frequently.

"Oh, really? Well, what if I wanted to ask her out?" Leonard questioned.

Sheldon looked up at him, frowning.

He had spent years playing with the formulas, crunching the numbers, collecting the data, gathering the materials, and speaking to an  _engineer_ to get to where he currently was.

Yet, there was Leonard, threatening to ruin it all by not respecting that Sheldon had called dibs.

"You cannot ask her out, I called dibs," Sheldon explained in a small voice, his eye beginning to twitch slightly.

"She's not a spot on the couch, or a slice of pizza Sheldon, you can't just call  _dibs._ What if she wants to go out with me?" Leonard countered, smiling slightly at the thought of their gorgeous neighbor accepting an invitation to go on a date.

Sheldon frowned.

"You would not make her happy."

Leonard let out a hollow laugh, the smile turning cold at Sheldon's insult.

"What do you know about making women happy? I could make her happy!"

Sheldon shook his head.

"If you possess the capability, you do not possess the motivation. Regardless, as my best friend, I expect you to follow the social protocol accompanying your friend's interest in a woman. I have seen the movies, I believe you are supposed to serve as my "wing man"." He informed Leonard, who was staring at him, stony faced.

"No, I'm not helping you out. If you want to make a move on Penny, go ahead and make a move."

"Very well."

There was a knock on the door, interrupting the argument.

Leonard shot Sheldon one last dirty look, before opening the door.

Howard Wolowitz and Raj Koothrappali entered the apartment with wide smiles on their faces.

"You guys have got to see this Hawking lecture!" Howard exclaimed, holding up the disk containing the lecture that he was talking about.

"Oh, hey, guys, we're kind of busy right now. We've got - "

Penny walked out of the bathroom before Leonard could finish, wearing nothing but a towel.  _Sheldon's towel._

"Oh...hi," She said, smiling at Raj and Howard shyly.

Howard was immediately at Penny's side, kissing her hand slowly.

"Hello, I'm Howard Wolowitz. May I just say, you look like a goddess who just took a swim in the beautiful lake of love," Howard stated, staring at Penny suggestively.

She backed away slowly as Sheldon glared at Howard.

He had forgotten about how insufferable single Howard was.

"Hi, I'm Penny. And you are?" She questioned, looking at Raj eagerly.

Raj's eyes grew wide as he attempted to cower behind Leonard.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. Raj's selective mutism had not been resolved yet, nor had he discovered that alcohol would aid him in his endeavors to talk to women. His mutism had limited the group, Sheldon recalled, as Raj could not even perform simple tasks, like ordering a meal, when it required speaking to a woman.

"He cannot speak to women. He suffers from a selective mutism," Sheldon explained irritably.

Raj squeaked, in the attempt to speak to Penny. Whether or not he was agreeing or protesting was debatable.

"Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you all. Um...I'm going to go back to my apartment and get changed."

"Do you want to play Halo with us afterwards? It's Halo night. I think you'd like it, it's pretty fun," Leonard suggested meekly.

Penny responded with a polite smile, shaking her head.

"No thanks, I'll probably just watch Friends on YouTube. Ugh, I wish I had a TV instead. You know, ex-boyfriend issues," She replied, shrugging, and turning around to walk towards the door.

"Wait, your ex-boyfriend has your TV?" Leonard questioned, emphasizing the 'ex' part.

Sheldon's eyes narrowed as he waited for Leonard to make the suggestion he had been dreading.

Penny nodded.

"Well, maybe we could go and get it back next weekend. You know, it isn't right for him to keep something that isn't yours."

There it was. Leonard's offer to go visit Penny's ex-boyfriend, Kurt, in the hopes of returning Penny's TV to her. The very same man who stood at least 6"5, and had an under-developed brain, causing violent tendencies. Sheldon looked down at his pants and sighed. He would be back down to eight pairs, if this meeting went the way it originally had in 2007.

"Um, yeah, that would be really great,"

Sheldon's eyes narrowed as he watched Leonard smile brightly at Penny, oblivious to the obligations he had just created.

Raj and Howard immediately excused themselves, knowing that Leonard would rope them into promising to join him in visiting Penny's ex-boyfriend if they did not.

"You know, my mother needs her ointment," Howard lied as the backed out of the door quickly, shutting it behind them.

* * *

"Now that Halo night has been effectively ruined, I believe I'll watch the Illinois/Nebraska game. They're playing Texas soon. Penny, you said you were from Nebraska, correct? Are you a football fan?" Sheldon questioned, picking up the remote, and flipping through the channels, searching for the game he knew was on. He had checked the schedule earlier in the day.

"Yeah, you're a Texas fan? Lucky you, they're doing better than we are this year. Um, hey, do you mind if I watch that with you?" Penny asked eagerly.

Sheldon shrugged.

"If you wish, it would not bother me. Leonard, would you care to join us?" He questioned, glancing at Leonard, who was gaping at the pair.

"Uh, yeah, sure. I love football." Leonard responded, nodding his head vigorously.

Penny smiled.

"Great, I'll be right back. Go Corn Huskers!"

Both of the guys smiled back as she shut the door behind her.

"Really, Sheldon? You were just about to watch the Nebraska game? What, did you look that up on her Facebook page while she was showering?" Leonard demanded, both intrigued and annoyed by Sheldon's interaction with Penny.

Sheldon shook his head.

"My mother purchased tickets to the Texas/Nebraska game, in the hopes that my brother, George, and I would go together. However, George is currently busy working as a manager at the local steak house, and I would hate to distract him from his work, regardless of how insignificant it is. I fully intend to go to the game, and would therefore like to be aware of the players I am watching." He explained simply.

"You're not going to ask Penny to the game, are you?" Leonard questioned, his thick eyebrows furrowing.

Sheldon's eyes lit up at the idea.

"I had not thought of that, but that seems like a prudent way to bond with Penny. Thank you, Leonard."

"Damn it, Sheldon, that wasn't a suggestion, it's a bad idea!" Leonard yelled as Sheldon turned to watch the game.

Sheldon turned around in surprise.

"While I agree that most of your ideas are bad, I must disagree with you about this. I believe it is a very good idea to ask Penny to go to the game with me. She enjoys football, and the team she supports is playing."

Leonard glared at Sheldon momentarily, until he heard Penny knock on the door.

"Hey, guys, have I missed anything yet?" Penny questioned, skipping over to the couch, where she sat down right next to Sheldon.

Leonard immediately sat on the other side of Penny.

"No, we just turned the game on." He answered obligingly, smiling at Penny widely.

Sheldon glanced over and nodded, before returning his focus to the game.

* * *

"Wow, that was a really great game! Nebraska can seriously kick some ass!" Penny exclaimed, smiling at both Sheldon and Leonard as the game ended.

"Yes, I have to say, I am very excited to see them play next weekend." Sheldon agreed, nodding towards the TV thoughtfully.

Leonard glared at Sheldon, before attempting to distract Penny.

"Hey Penny, have you ever seen the equation for the velocity of a penny falling off the statue of liberty?"

"Um, no, but that sounds interesting," Penny muttered, barely glancing at Leonard, "hey Sheldon, are you actually  _going_  to the Texas/Nebraska game next weekend?"

Sheldon nodded.

"You lucky bastard, I heard the tickets were going for like, $200 by the end of sales, because so many people wanted to go."

"I have a spare ticket, if you're interested in attending the game. My brother, George was supposed to attend the game with me, but could not at the last minute."

Penny's eyes lit up.

"That would be amazing! Oh, wait, where is the game? I can't show my face in Nebraska right now, and the airfare for either trip..."

"The game is being held in California, where there is a stadium to facilitate the copious amounts of viewers."

"Okay, yeah, that sounds great. Thanks, sweetie, it's a date!"

Leonard blanched while Sheldon blushed.

Leonard quickly moved the subject to dinner, suggesting pizza, from a Sheldon-approved restaurant. To his dismay, Penny was so wrapped up in discussing football with a surprisingly knowledgeable Sheldon, that she hardly noticed. Leonard picked up the phone, ordering their usual order, in the hopes that he could begin to talk about the restaurants in the area once the food was ordered, working up the nerve to invite Penny to dinner.

If  _Sheldon_ could manage to ask Penny out, so could he.

"Great, the pizza is ready for pickup. Do you guys want to come with me?" Leonard questioned, hoping that Penny would offer to accompany him.

Penny looked at Leonard, but shrugged sheepishly.

"Actually, I kind of want to stay here and talk to Sheldon. How much do I owe you for the pizza?" Penny asked, digging through her pockets.

Sheldon looked at Penny for a moment before springing into action.

"Allow me. I believe it is social protocol to treat a new neighbor or friend to dinner. Here you are, Leonard," Sheldon said, handing Leonard both his, and Penny's share of the pizza.

"Thanks," Leonard said slowly, looking down at the money Sheldon had given him.

"Oh, sweetie, I don't want to mooch off of you for lunch, dinner  _and_ a football game," Penny argued.

Sheldon waved her off.

Mooching was never a concern for Penny. Sheldon had just come to terms with her mooching. He had had years of experience with it. Penny would learn to become comfortable enough with the men to mooch off of them soon enough.

"If you were not here, we would have purchased the same amount of pizza, and therefore, I would have paid the same amount. You have done us a service of relieving us of the task of splitting the remaining pizza."

Penny looked at Leonard.

"Is he serious?" She questioned, unsure of whether Sheldon was insinuating that he would have preferred leftovers, or if he genuinely did not want leftover pizza.

"I'm afraid so. Welcome to the tip of the Sheldon iceberg." Leonard responded with a smile, before departing for the pizza.

Sheldon looked at Penny for a moment, before standing up and walking over to his whiteboard. He had been staring at the unfinished equation for too long. He knew the answer, he had to write it down.

"Wait,"

Sheldon turned around, staring at Penny curiously.

She patted his spot, indicating that she wanted him to return to his seat.

He cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows, working to understand why she would want him to return to his seat. The football game was over, the remote was next to Penny, and she had a beverage resting on the coffee table. He had done his duty as a host, and owed her no further services.

"Come here, I want to talk to you."

"What do you wish to speak about?"

"I don't know, anything. Come on. It'll be fun. I just think I want to get to know you better, Sheldon."

"Would that make you happy?"

She grinned.

"It would."

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

 

Penny was all smiles as she drove Sheldon and herself to the Nebraska/Texas football game. Sheldon had lectured her on the safety hazard that her unexplored 'check engine' light created, but sank into a comfortable conversation with her, once she changed the subject.

"So I have this audition in two days for a commercial, and I think it might be the big break I need," she stated, beaming as Sheldon looked at her curiously.

He knew about the audition she was speaking of. She had stomped around for days after she had been informed that she was too peppy for the commercial.

Informing her about the impending rejection would simply frustrate her, unfortunately. Penny would never even suspect time travel as the cause of his statement.

Instead, he nodded, focusing his attention on the road, where Penny seemed to be ignoring multiple stop signs.

"Would you and Leonard come to my movies, if I was famous?" Penny questioned, grinning over at Sheldon.

"I would feel more comfortable if you kept your eyes on the road."

Penny rolled her eyes at him before turning her attention to the road ahead of her.

"So, would you?"

"I suppose it would be social convention to attend a ceremony celebrating a friend's accomplishment. Leonard and Wolowitz would undoubtedly attend, in the hopes of attaining coitus with a beautiful actress."

Penny laughed her agreement.

A week had been enough time for her to begin to understand Sheldon's quirkiness. She was already starting to catch on to his habits, his schedules, and his way of conversing.

"Have you thought about becoming famous often?" Sheldon questioned, understanding that it was the social convention to ask about another person's interests during a conversation.

He had spent years watching others interact with Penny, gauging the success rates with each approach. Now, he was being tested on how much information he had retained.

"Of course, haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be famous? I mean, for you, it would be like being that guy in the wheelchair, or the Flash, but it's kind of the same thing. You'd have so much money you wouldn't know what to do with it all, the nicest clothes in the world, and everybody would just love you," Penny sighed with a dreamy smile.

"You seem very interested in attaining large sums of money. What is it that you wish to do with so much money?" Sheldon asked, slipping his hand into his pocket, his fingers brushing against the lottery ticket he had purchased days ago.

The lottery ticket had been a winner. He was the rightful owner of well over ten million dollars, after taxes.

He did not care about the money. He had simply heard Penny complain of finance issues in 2013. If money was a component of her happiness, he would attempt to alleviate the situation by any means possible.

Admittedly, he had gained money on Wall Street, recalling the ups and downs of the market over the years, with the help of his idedic memory. High-speed internet didn't pay for itself, after all.

"Oh, I'd probably move to a big old house in Beverly Hills, or maybe Malibu. Hell, maybe I'd buy a house in both places," she started.

Sheldon's hand immediately exited his pocket, abandoning the lottery ticket, as well as the idea of presenting Penny with it.

The idea of her moving away was unacceptable. Not only would Sheldon have to grow accustomed to yet another neighbor, but he had no assurance that Penny would keep in touch with him beyond moving away. She had only known him a week.

Sheldon knew that he was very interesting, and likely the highlight of every one of his acquaintance's days, however, he did not like the uncertainty of losing Penny after spending so much time, so much brain power, on becoming reacquainted with her, the correct way.

He glanced at her, realizing she was still discussing what she would do if she were to become famous.

"So what about you, Texas, what would you do if you had unlimited money and fame?" She questioned, smiling back at him.

Penny had taken to calling him "Texas" teasingly, usually followed by light-hearted insults aimed at the Texas football team, and how the Corn Huskers would defeat them easily.

Sheldon generally did not care for nicknames. He found them tedious and unnecessary. Yet, he found himself enjoying Penny referring to him by the name of his home state, as the nickname was generally accompanied by a bright smile, or a playful nudge.

"I do not think I would enjoy being famous in the pop culture sense, as I have been led to believe it is an enormous social obligation. The money would be fairly immaterial to me, as well. I already have money."

"Yeah, but it's  _more_ money."

Sheldon stared back at her blankly.

"I don't think I need any more money."

"Do you ever wish for  _anything_ , Sheldon?"

Sheldon took a moment to flick his eyes over her carefully, before making eye contact with her.

"I suppose."

Penny rolled her eyes, still smiling, as Sheldon looked back at her.

* * *

"So you're telling me that Sheldon just got her to go on a date with him? No begging, no drugging, no blackmailing?" Howard demanded upon hearing that Penny was at the football game with Sheldon for the day, nearly dropping the Batman comic book he had been flipping through.

"Oh, god, Sheldon Cooper is going to have a girlfriend before me," Raj moaned.

Leonard shrugged as he sifted through the massive collection of comic books in Stuart's store.

"I don't think it's a  _date_ guys, they're just going to a football game together. I'm not even sure Sheldon would know what to do on a date."

Howard set down the comic book, looking at Leonard.

"You said he called dibs. What if his home planet sent him here to reproduce, and conquer the world with his mutant offspring?"

Leonard threw down his comic, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't think Sheldon even  _knows_ how to reproduce! Even if he does, he has a meltdown when someone sneezes in the same room he's in. I don't think he'll get very far in the reproduction process."

"I hope not," Howard muttered, walking off to explore additional comics.

"What if I never get a girlfriend as hot as Sheldon Cooper's girlfriend?" Raj groaned, resting his head down against the stack of comic books in front of him, clearly depressed at the thought.

Leonard looked at Howard, then Raj.

They were making a much bigger deal out of the situation than he had expected. Sure, it was odd for Sheldon to seek out the presence of any human being,  _especially_ a woman like Penny, but it didn't mean that he was on a date with Penny. They were just two friends, attending a football game.

Leonard nodded to himself, trying to convince himself that this was the case.

"Even if it was a date, he would probably mess it up as soon as she sat in the wrong seat, or touched his food." Leonard reminded Howard from across the store.

Howard looked up in surprise, not expecting the conversation to continue further.

Leonard continued to look at Howard, expecting some kind of agreement.

"If you're so worried about it, why don't you just text Sheldon, and ask him what's going on? He's probably not paying attention to the game either. I know that if I had to choose between looking at sweaty men running around, or a sweaty blonde with nice – "

" _Howard,"_ Leonard interrupted sharply.

Howard shrugged, smiling, and continued flipping through the comics in the back of the store.

"It's not even a date. It's  _Sheldon,_ " Leonard grumbled, trying to distract himself with a new Green Lantern comic book.

He stared at the comic for a moment, before sighing, tossing it aside, and pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

* * *

"Oh, come on Sheldon, you won't even have  _one_ beer? It's a football game, you have to drink!" Penny exclaimed as they returned from the concession stand.

Penny was gripping two plastic cups, filled to the brim with beer, while Sheldon carried a diet coke, and a pretzel, which he had been repeatedly assured had not been touched without the use of gloves.

"I do not drink. I promised my mother that I would not become addicted to any harmful substances in California." He reminded her as they sat down in their seats.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Sweetie, you're going to have to try something new  _eventually._ Aren't you even a little bit curious about what it might be like to drink?"

Sheldon winced at the memories of his past experiences with alcohol.

"I am not curious, I have experienced alcohol before. I did not care for the effects."

"That's something you managed to avoid telling me the other night," Penny teased, nudging Sheldon's shoulder with hers, "maybe we can swap drunken stories on the ride home. I can't imagine you drunk."

Sheldon scowled at her.

"I hardly imagine sharing stories full of drunken stupor would be an adequate use of either of our time. Now, I believe it is necessary to focus on the football game, as it has begun."

Penny smiled at Sheldon, before turning to watch the game.

* * *

Back in the apartment, Leonard jumped up from the couch in the living area, hearing Penny and Sheldon's voices in the hallway. He rushed to look through the peephole in the door.

Sheldon had not texted him back during the football game. It had been hours since he had last spoken with his quirky roommate, and he was  _dying_ to know just what was happening between Sheldon and the blonde actress he was so desperately chasing after.

"I still can't believe that Texas tied then won the game in the last five minutes," Penny grumbled, walking towards the door to her apartment.

"Don't mess with Texas." Sheldon responded easily, shrugging.

Leonard rolled his eyes then continued to watch the two.

"Yeah, I guess Nebraska learned its lesson," she sighed, a smile taking over her face, "we should do this again, I had a really great time."

Leonard froze as he watched Penny stand up on her heels, leaning closer to Sheldon as she did so.

She was going to kiss him. Penny was leaning in to kiss Sheldon Cooper. She had spent hours with him, and was expecting a kiss upon their departure. It really had been a date.

"Yes, I will check Texas's schedule for the next football season. Perhaps we could purchase the tickets to the same seats. I found they were in an acceptable location." Sheldon agreed, oblivious to Penny's expectations.

"Mhmm," Penny muttered, leaning even closer to Sheldon.

"Well, good evening. I assume I will see you tomorrow." He said formally, nodding at Penny before turning on his heel, walking towards the apartment.

Leonard stepped back from the door as Sheldon entered the apartment, but didn't even bother acting casual about the situation.

"Sheldon, what the hell did you just do? Penny wanted you to  _kiss_ her, and you just blew your chances with her!" He exclaimed, staring at Sheldon in frustration.

Sheldon had managed to get the gorgeous blonde to spend the entire day with him, he had managed to speak to her without getting on her nerves all of the time, and yet, he hadn't managed to read the signs that were right in front of him, screaming for attention.

Sheldon looked at Leonard curiously, like he couldn't quite process what he was saying.

"Now, you don't know that, Penny did not say she was interested in putting her mouth on top of mine, now did she?" He countered, raising his eyebrows as he looked at Leonard in exasperation.

"Oh, please, I was watching out of the peephole. She stood up on her toes and leaned towards you!"

Sheldon shook his head, not allowing Leonard to be right.

"Must I remind you, Leonard, that if you intend on spying, mentioning something you discovered while spying is not always prudent?"

"Oh, fine, I'm a terrible spy. Now tell me why you didn't kiss Penny."

Sheldon scowled at Leonard.

"I wish to take things slow with her."

Leonard raised his eyebrows at Sheldon as he walked to his spot, not bothering to look back. He looked determined to avoid finishing the conversation.

"You've been single for twenty-four years. Don't you think you've taken things slow enough?" Leonard teased, sitting down in the armchair near Sheldon.

"Penny recently terminated her relationship with her now ex-boyfriend. I believe it is common for women to quickly enter into a physical relationship following a relationship termination. I do not want to be Penny's 'rebound', as some so crudely refer to it."

Leonard nodded, chewing on his thumb nail thoughtfully.

"That…actually makes a lot of sense. Sheldon, I've got to ask you, what's gotten into you lately? I've never seen you act like this."

Sheldon paused.

"I don't think I'm acting out of the ordinary. On the contrary, I believe  _you_ are acting out of the ordinary. You have never displayed this much interest in me before."

"Oh, please, are you saying you think it's common for you to ask girls out, and worry about being a rebound?"

Sheldon simply shrugged, getting up and walking into the kitchen, to grab a Yoohoo out of the fridge.

"You had better think about it, and you had better think about why you didn't kiss Penny a few minutes ago. Howard and Raj agreed to go talk to Penny's ex-boyfriend with me, to get her TV back. We'll see how far the shy physicist gets when the knight in shining armor arrives." Leonard joked, grabbing his keys out of the bowl by the front door as he walked out the door.

Sheldon looked back, but the door was closed before he could speak.

"But I called dibs," he whined to himself.

* * *

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

Penny opened the door, confusion clearly written across her face.

It had been less than an hour since Sheldon had gone into his apartment, stating that he would simply see her the next day. Now, he was knocking at her door once again.

"What's up, Shelly?" She questioned, a smile playing on her lips as she thought about her spur-of-the-moment nickname.

Sheldon didn't react to it; he knew that Penny would give him many nicknames over the next few years.

"Would you like to watch a train documentary with me? I just discovered one on the history channel."

"Oh, sweetie, that sounds boring. I think I'll just stick to Sex in the City and wine."

Sheldon frowned for a moment, before smiling widely.

"Oh, I see, you were telling a joke," he wheezed out a laugh, "now, come on. The documentary is going to resume any moment now. Commercial breaks don't last very long,"

Penny chewed her lip, looking at Sheldon thoughtfully.

"Well, okay, I guess I could watch it for a little while,  _if_ you let me bring my wine. I can't stay too long, though. I promised some of my friends that I would go out with them tonight to celebrate my commercial audition."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed as Penny skipped back into her apartment to get her wine.

Prior to meeting Amy and Bernadette, Penny went out with her 'friends' that she met at auditions and acting class. They were not the right sort of friends for Penny; they encouraged her to make poor decisions, drink excessively, and sleep with strange men.

She would likely make poor decisions if she went out for the evening with these girls, especially since she had just broken up with Kurt.

Of course, he had to allow Penny to make her own decisions. She had done it before. It was a part of who she was, or rather, who she had been when he left to change the past. That didn't mean he liked it any better.

The sooner he introduced Penny to Amy and Bernadette, the better.

"I don't understand why alcohol is necessary for every occasion." He muttered as Penny followed him to his apartment, clutching her bottle and glass as she did.

Penny smiled up at him.

"I think I can teach you."

Sheldon snorted, but ignored the impulse to respond to Penny's idea of "teaching" him anything.

Instead, he sat down at his spot, glancing at Penny as she sat down right next to him.

"So Texas, are you going to give me any fun facts about trains, or are you going to make me suffer in silence here?" She asked after a few minutes, taking a sip of wine before grinning at him teasingly.

Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed.

It was not like Penny to ask him to spout his interesting knowledge. She worked to avoid the information he was generously providing her, much like she had during her academic career.

Still, he was certainly not going to discourage her sudden willingness to learn.

"Very well, I commend you for seeking information about trains. They're the most interesting form of transportation. Did you know that the longest train station in the world is in England? It's over 600 meters long. To put that into perspective, that's as long as six football fields."

Penny nodded, her eyes half closed as she sank into the couch, leaning as close to Sheldon as possible without actually touching him.

He stared down at her, slightly confused, but continued to list off facts throughout the documentary.

The apartment door opened as they were halfway through the documentary, turning the attention off of the TV, and onto Leonard, Raj, and Howard, all of whom were pants-less.

"Oh my god, what happened to you guys?" Penny questioned immediately, sitting up and staring at the guys with wide eyes.

Sheldon stared at them blankly as they slowly explained their encounter with Kurt.

"That ass. Guys, I'm so sorry," Penny said lightly, standing up from the couch, and walking over to the boys.

"It's alright. I'm just going to go put on some pants. Excuse me," Leonard muttered shakily, walking past everyone towards his bedroom, his lips trembling as he did so.

Sheldon felt his heart sink as he saw the guys squirming uncomfortably as Penny spoke to them. Clearly Kurt had impacted their odd sense of pride.

Penny began to cry as she apologized to the guys for Kurt's behavior, causing Sheldon to sit up in alarm.

"Penny, where are you crying?" He questioned, approaching the sobbing blonde, as Raj and Howard scooted towards Leonard's room, in the attempt to borrow some pants until they made it home.

"Because Kurt is an ass!" She wailed.

"Well, that's no reason to cry. You are not the problem, nor are you encouraging the problem."

Penny continued to cry, shaking her head.

Sheldon sighed, regaining his composure.

"Penny, I believe I hear your phone ringing. You had plans for this evening, correct?"

Penny nodded, sniffling.

"I don't know if I even want to go anymore,"

Sheldon shook his head.

"You made a social obligation. It is my understanding that you must fulfill a social engagement you previously made, unless you have an emergency. This is not an emergency."

Penny looked at him, tears still slipping out of her eyes.

"You…you think I should still go?"

Sheldon nodded.

"Oh. Okay. Um. Well, I guess I'll see you later, then." Penny whispered, nodding and backing towards the door.

Sheldon watched as she left, wondering just why she continued to glance backwards as she did so.

* * *

The next morning, Sheldon woke up bright and early, quickly eating a bowl of oatmeal before getting dressed, and slinging his messenger back over his shoulder.

_Knock knock knock._ "Leonard."

_Knock knock knock._ "Leonard."

_Knock knock knock._ "Leonard."

"What the hell, Sheldon? It's Sunday morning," Leonard grumbled through the door.

"I require a ride."

"I'll drive you later."

"No, I wish to recover Penny's TV. If we leave while she is awake, she will ask me not to. She might even cry again, Leonard. You know I don't care for people when they're crying."

Leonard's door swung open, allowing the short physicist to gawk at his roommate.

"Sheldon, that man is the size of a  _gorilla."_

"I never said I was planning to use brute force against him."

"I don't think he would make the same promise to you."

Sheldon sighed, hunching his shoulders.

"Will you drive me to his residence, or will you make me call Koothrapolli or Wolowitz?"

Leonard stared at Sheldon, before shrugging, exiting his room.

"I guess someone should be there to call the cops when he attacks you. I'm not getting out of the car, though."

"I should hope not, you're still in your pajamas."

Leonard rolled his eyes as they walked down the steps quietly.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Leonard questioned as he pulled the car up to Kurt's apartment complex.

Sheldon nodded, opening the car door before his friend could try to talk him out of it.

Penny had been crying because of Kurt's behavior the night before. Crying was generally not a sign of happiness. On the contrary, it was how most people expressed sadness they could not articulate.

Sheldon had promised to make her happy. This was just an unfortunate measure required to keep his promise.

He pushed the button to buzz Kurt's apartment, sucking in a deep breath as he did so.

"Hello?" Kurt's low, masculine voice inquired.

"Hello, is this Kurt? I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and I wish to speak to you about a business proposition."

"Are you trying to sell me something? I'm not interested."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and shook his head. Another child left behind.

"I am not trying to sell you something. On the contrary, I am requesting to purchase something."

"Uh...what's that?"

"The television that previous belonged to Penny. I am aware that my colleagues attempted to take the TV from you earlier. I am not quite as foolhardy as they are. Therefore, I am willing to offer you a fair sum of money for the return of the TV." Sheldon responded, glancing back at Leonard's car as he spoke.

"Oh, yeah? Another one of Penny's nerds, are you? Alright, how much are you gonna pay me for the TV? I'm thinking $500, at least."

Sheldon glanced down at the stack of cash in his messenger bag.

He had cashed in his lottery ticket earlier in the week, when Leonard was busy at work, and Penny was sleeping in her apartment. He had been forced to take a taxi in order to do so, but had considered the investment worthwhile.

"I believe that is fair. Now, will you bring the television down? I assure you, I have the money with me."

"There's going to be a $100 moving fee."

"Very well. $600 it is."

Sheldon smiled to himself as Kurt carried the TV out of the apartment complex a few moments later, a large grin plastered on his face as he did so.

"I would appreciate it if you could set the TV in my friend's car, over there."

Kurt grunted, throwing open the backseat of Leonard's car, and pushing the TV in. Leonard stared at him in a combination of fear and disbelief.

Kurt slammed the door shut, and approached Sheldon.

"Now where's the money?"

Sheldon took $600 out of his wallet, pausing as he did so.

"Would you be willing to write four apology notes for another $400?"

Kurt's eyebrows furrowed.

"You want me to write 'I'm sorry' on a piece of paper for four hundred bucks? Hell yeah, I'll do it. I thought you guys were supposed to be geniuses. I would've just forged the apology, like all of the signatures I did in high school."

Sheldon handed Kurt four pieces of paper and a pen out of his messenger bag, spelling out the names of each person the letters were designated to. Kurt scowled when Sheldon insisted on one of the notes be addressed to Penny, but upon seeing the money Sheldon was brandishing, he quickly resumed writing the notes, muttering complaints under his breath.

Kurt thrust the completed notes at Sheldon, and held out his hand, staring at the money expectantly.

Sheldon handed the money over willingly, returning to Leonard's car immediately afterwards.

"Sheldon, that was incredible, how did you do that?" Leonard questioned, his eyes lighting up as Sheldon calmly placed the apology notes in his messenger bag, reminding himself to distribute them to Raj, Howard, and Leonard when they were all gathered for dinner.

He looked at Leonard, and shrugged, attempting to hide his smile.

"I suppose I have just revealed who the true knight in shining armor is."

Leonard chuckled to himself as he started up the car. He was too impressed with Sheldon's acquisition of the TV to argue over who was the true knight in shining armor. Of course, there wasn't a whole lot to argue about, anyways. Sheldon had prevailed in a task that Leonard couldn't do with Raj and Howard assisting him. He truly was the hero, at least for the day.

"I suppose we have. Come on, let's get back to the apartment. I'm sure you can't wait to show Penny what you did."

Sheldon rolled his eyes, but nodded as Leonard put his foot on the gas pedal.

* * *

Penny woke up, still slightly drunk from the night before.

Feeling the weight of an arm on her side, she opened her eyes, and threw a glance over her shoulder to see a man lying next to her, snoring softly.

She tried to remember her name, or any information she gathered about him from the previous night as she looked him over curiously, but couldn't think of a single thing. He was an attractive man, but that was all she really knew.

_Well, I guess that's my post-breakup hookup,_ she thought to herself, rolling back over and shutting her eyes.

She knew that hooking up with strange men was not the best way to get over a breakup. It sure as hell wasn't the right way to meet a nicer boyfriend, but there was something satisfying about going out to a bar, all dressed up, scoping out the hottest man, and leaving with him as a prize. It was a much-needed boost to her self-esteem.

After a few minutes of trying to recall details about the previous night, she felt the man toss over, then begin to stretch.

She sighed, getting out of bed, and quickly slipping clothes on.

"Mornin'," the man slurred.

"Morning," Penny said.

"Uh, I should probably get out of here. My roommate has been texting me for hours. He thinks I got murdered." The man said with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head as he surveyed Penny.

Penny nodded, collecting the man's clothes, which were scattered all around her bedroom floor.

"Thanks," he grinned as she handed them to him.

She nodded, going into her bathroom to brush her teeth as he got dressed.

She managed to get him out of her apartment quickly, but lingered outside of her apartment door with him.

"Y'know, Penny, I had a really great time last night," he said.

Damn. He remembered her name.

"Me too." Penny agreed, hoping he would not put her in a situation where she would need to ask for his name.

"Maybe we should go out sometime. I think my number is in your phone, but I'm not sure if it's right. I was pretty hammered last night. Mind if I check?" The man questioned, glancing down at the cell phone in Penny's hand.

"No, go ahead," Penny responded, thrusting her cell phone at the man.

Once he entered his information, hopefully she would be able to see his name.

"Yeah, I just put 'seven' down as my number, and 'Duck' as my name. That's a little far off from Rodger."

"It sure is."

_Rodger. Damn it, how could I not remember that? I had a boyfriend named Rodger two years ago!_ Penny thought to herself.

She must have had a hell of a lot of vodka if she couldn't remember that.

"Well, thanks again for last night. I'll call you sometime." Rodger said with a toothy grin.

Penny nodded, smiling back at him.

He bent down to kiss her, then turned to walk down the stairs.

Penny turned to watch him leave, but as her gaze swept past apartment 4A, she instantly locked eyes with Sheldon.

Sheldon glanced at the retreating one night stand, then back at Penny, his big blue eyes searching for something he clearly wasn't finding.

_Shit,_ Penny thought, her stomach lurching.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

 

Penny had been sitting on the floor of her apartment, back against the door for over an hour, contemplating the look she had seen on Sheldon's face, when she suddenly heard a thumping noise.

She stood up, adjusting her clothes as she did so, and opened the door, looking around for the cause of the noise.

She looked around, then down.

Sitting in front of her door was her old TV, the one Kurt had taken from her, along with two pieces of paper taped to it.

"What the hell?" She breathed, squatting down to look at the writing on the paper.

The first one she recognized as Kurt's lousy handwriting.

_Dear Penny,_

_Sorry about your TV. I will neither take your things, nor will I make you cry, ever again._

_-Kurt_

Penny's eyebrows furrowed as she picked up the other piece of paper. It wasn't like Kurt to apologize, but it was completely out of character for him to use the word "nor".

As she began reading the second piece of paper, she gained a better understanding of the meaning of Kurt's apology.

_Penny,_

_I have retrieved your television from Kurt, and took the liberty of extracting an apology to you, Leonard, Raj, and Howard for his unacceptable behavior yesterday afternoon._

_Although you now have your own television, I would not object to your presence during football games, and train documentaries in the future._

_Your friend,_

_Dr. Sheldon Cooper_

She sighed as she set down Sheldon's letter, looking at the closed door to the guy's apartment.

* * *

"Tough break, buddy, but I'm sure there will be other girls," Leonard informed Sheldon as he worked on the equations scribbled on his whiteboard.

Sheldon looked up, annoyed that Leonard had broken his concentration to discuss women again.

He had to actively work at pacing himself, so no one would become suspicious of his progress. Leonard had been looking up from his laptop to discuss how there were "other fish in the sea" or "plenty of nice women at the university". Dealing with his needy roommate was an exhausting process.

Sheldon knew perfectly well that Penny would sleep with a stranger, eventually.

He had learned about her process for moving on, and accepted it for what it was. He did not care for the fact that Penny was so promiscuous, but he was aware that she would mature, especially upon meeting Amy and Bernadette. He was certainly not taking her interaction with the man from earlier as a personal offense.

He had seen Penny with Leonard for  _years._ He had learned to control his jealousy.

"Leonard, I do not intend to end my pursuit of Penny simply because she had coitus with another man." Sheldon murmured, trying to focus on making a few mistakes that would be acceptable for someone at his intelligence level, while still making it look like he was years from where he really was.

"Uh, I know that you don't have a whole lot of dating experience, but I don't think you want someone that treats you that way. Penny  _cheated_ on you. Aren't you at least a little mad?"

"She was not unfaithful, as we are not currently paired in a relationship, nor do we have an agreement that specifies any boundaries. I was waiting for her to find someone else to make poor decisions with, before approaching her romantically."

It was easier spoken than believed. Sheldon had not liked seeing the man exit Penny's apartment. He didn't like the smug grin on the man's face as he kissed Penny, nor did he like that Penny's eyes had followed the man.

Still, he wanted Penny, and this was a part of her.

"So now that Penny has slept with someone else, you think it's a good time to ask her out?"

Sheldon paused, turning to look at Leonard before nodding.

"Yes."

Leonard stared at Sheldon in disbelief for a moment, before exhaling heavily, and continuing to browse the internet.

Sheldon turned back to his work, his mind racing as he intentionally slowed his progress down.

Penny did have her 'rebound' accounted for, perhaps it was the ideal time to ask her on a date.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall a time he had witnessed Leonard, or any other gentleman caller, asking Penny out. He had only asked a girl out on a date once, and that had been Penny. Amy had been on a date with Stewart, so he had decided to test his luck with Penny. Unfortunately, she thought he was reacting out of jealousy over Amy, and had simply pushed him towards the neurobiologist.

This time would be different, however. Sheldon would ask and observe, until he found the perfect method of asking Penny on a date. He had too much riding on her answer to go about it in a casual manner.

"Leonard?"

"Yeah?" Leonard questioned, looking up from his computer.

Sheldon took a moment to analyze his facial expression.

He was either irritated, or had indigestion.

"How do you ask a woman on a date?"

* * *

The following Monday, Sheldon hovered over the printer in his office, waiting for his full document to finish printing.

"Hey Sheldon, we're going to lunch, are you coming?" Raj questioned, entering his office.

Sheldon's head shot up.

He had expected the document to print before lunch time.

Drat.

"I'll be there momentarily."

"What are you printing?" Raj questioned conversationally, sticking his hands in his pockets as he sauntered over to where Sheldon was hunched over.

Sheldon tried to block Raj's view of the document, with no luck.

"Why are you printing off an application to the Cheesecake Factory?"

Sheldon scowled.

"No reason."

"You're the most logical person that I know. You don't do things for 'no reason'."

"Maybe I'm a little whimsical today."

"And with that whimsy, you decided to print an application to the Cheesecake Factory?"

"Perhaps."

Raj looked at Sheldon curiously, but didn't push the point.

Sheldon was known for exhibiting unusual behavior. It was better to leave him alone, unless he was threatening national security, or someone's personal safety. Even then, questioning him was an unfortunate chore.

"Okay...so, are you ready to go to lunch? Today they're having macaroni and cheese, with a side of turkey. My thighs say no, but my stomach says yes." Raj suggested, smiling as he walked towards the door to Sheldon's office.

Sheldon nodded, slipping the job application into his desk drawer before following Raj to the cafeteria.

As he sat down to eat lunch with his friends, and Howard, he pulled out his cell phone, hardly focusing on Howard's silly engineering stories. He was creating a shelf for an environment where there was zero gravity, a less than useless contraption.

Leonard noticed Sheldon's fixation on his cell phone, and smiled slightly, before turning his attention back to a very frustrated Howard Wolowitz.

* * *

Penny sighed as she waited in a large room with the rest of the blondes in California.

Her audition hadn't gone that well, she could tell by the way the director had said "we'll be in touch".

She felt her phone vibrate, and looked down at it.

**Texas:**

**Good luck on your audition, Penny.**

Penny smiled as she stared down at Sheldon's text message.

She knew that he didn't understand her dreams as an actress, and she knew he wasn't used to taking, or faking, an interest in somebody else's actions, but he was really trying. That was a lot more than she could say about half of the people in her life.

She texted him back, thanking him, before sinking into the waiting room chair.

Every single woman in that room was beautiful. Penny could feel her self-esteem falling each time she made eye contact with an aspiring actress in the room.

She sighed, closing her eyes and tilting her head back.

In Nebraska, Penny had really been someone. She was easily the prettiest girl in town, and everybody knew it. Boys would fall over themselves asking her to the school dances, the local parties, or just to the crappy pizza place down the street. All of her friends were jealous, and everybody knew her name. Life had been easy in Nebraska, because she was special.

Here, she was just another blonde with dreams of making it big.

After another hour of agonizing over whether or not she would get the commercial, the director's assistant called her back into the little room where she had auditioned.

"Listen, Penny," the director began.

Penny's heart sank. She had heard that phrase said by employers and ex-boyfriends alike. It was always accompanied by a defeated sigh, or an apologetic look, because it always meant that she was not going to get what she wanted, and  _god_ did she want to get this commercial.

"You were great, and we will certainly keep you in mind. You were just a little too...perky, for this role."

Penny nodded, trying to smile as tears stung her eyes.

She exited the building, staring straight at the ground as she walked towards her crappy, beat up car.

* * *

"I am going to check the mail, Leonard. You may continue to the apartment." Sheldon stated as he entered the lobby of Los Robles, pulling out his mail key as he did so.

"Are you sure? I think I have lecture notes coming in the mail."

"Leonard, please, you're smothering me." Sheldon muttered.

He had heard Leslie Winkle say this to Leonard, when she wished to be relieved of his company, and hoped for similar results.

"Okay, buddy, you can check the mail by yourself." Leonard mumbled, holding his hands up in the air as a sign of resignation.

Sheldon nodded as Leonard walked up the steps, throwing curious stares over his shoulder as he did so.

"Finally," Sheldon breathed, pulling the Cheesecake Factory job application out of his messenger bag.

He opened Penny's mailbox, knowing she always left it unlocked, and slid the application inside of the mailbox.

He then proceeded to check his own mail, as per usual, bringing it up to the apartment, and setting it down on the coffee table.

"Did my lecture notes come in the mail?" Leonard asked eagerly, exiting his bedroom after hearing Sheldon close the front door to the apartment.

"Your mail is lying to the right of my mail. I am unaware of its contents. I believe it is against federal law to look through another's mail. I can only hope that you grant me the same courtesy."

"Really, you're talking to me about following the law? Didn't you try to buy uranium when you were like, eight?"

"That was different, that was for the good of society."

"What if I need to open your mail for the good of society?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, shaking his head in exasperation.

" _Really,_ Leonard, we've already established that I am the hero of this apartment."

"Sometimes the heroes turn into villains, though. What about Parallax in  _Green Lantern_ , or Picard, in  _The Next Generation_?" Leonard countered, raising his eyebrows as Sheldon stared back at him.

"I like to think of myself as Spock, or the Flash. Neither of them turned into villains."

There was a loud thud, followed by screaming, terminating the conversation between Sheldon and Leonard.

Sheldon opened the door, and hesitantly shuffled over to Penny's apartment.

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny?"

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny?"

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny?"

"Go away, Sheldon, I don't want to talk right now!"

"Oh...okay." Sheldon muttered, backing away from her apartment, towards his own.

"Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I really do want to talk to you, I'm just having a horrible day." Penny sighed as she opened the door to her apartment, inviting Sheldon in.

Sheldon shuffled into the apartment hesitantly, glancing around at the mess.

He decided it was best not to comment on the disaster area while Penny was so upset.

"Why are you having a bad day?"

"Well, I didn't get the commercial that I thought would be my big break. Apparently I'm too perky. Then, when I get home, there was an application to the Cheesecake Factory in my mailbox. Do you think that's a sign? Do you think I should apply?"

Sheldon looked down at his shoes nervously.

He did not like it when people sought his company while they were upset. It made him uncomfortable to deal with people who were upset.

"It might not be a bad idea to have a secure job until you're successful." He responded quietly.

Penny groaned, leaning against her apartment wall.

"I was afraid you were going to say that. I know you're right, but  _ugh._ It was so much better when I was going to have my big break. I wasn't going to worry about bills, or paychecks, or anything." She said, sinking down the wall, until she was sitting on the floor.

"I'm sure you'll make your big break, eventually."

She looked up at him and smiled slightly.

"Thanks, sweetie. And Sheldon?"

He looked at her curiously.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that guy this morning. I know you don't like strangers running around the apartment building, especially so close to your apartment," she said softly.

Sheldon sat down next to her on the floor, nudging her shoulder with his, the way Penny always did when she was teasing him. He had no idea what to say to Penny, or how to fix her situation, while still causing her to meet Bernadette, but this seemed easy. He always smiled when Penny nudged his shoulder. Perhaps it would have the same effect on her.

She nudged him back, her smile growing.

"So will you visit me, if I work at the Cheesecake Factory? I know it won't be as glamorous as a movie premier, but maybe I'll slip you a few free pieces of cake."

"I don't eat cake. However, I will allow you to bring me my Tuesday night cheeseburger."

"Well, thank you for such a high honor."

"Sarcasm?"

"Just a little bit."

Sheldon nodded as Penny burst into a fit of giggles.

He looked at her and smiled. Her happiness was contagious.

"Penny?"

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"Would you go on a date with me?"

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

 

There was a knock on the apartment door, which Leonard quickly responded to, opening the door with a smile on his face.

"Hey Leonard," Penny smiled, inviting herself into the guys' apartment.

"Oh, hey Penny, Sheldon's not here. He likes to go to the comic book store before getting his Tuesday night burger." He reminded her, hoping she would still stick around.

"Good, I wanted to talk to you."

Leonard's ears pricked up as he looked at Penny curiously.

"Me? Uh…uh…yeah, okay sure, we can talk, what do you want to talk about?" Leonard stammered hastily, eagerly sitting next to Penny on the leather couch.

"I want to talk about Sheldon."

"Of course you do." Leonard grumbled, rolling his eyes at his own bad luck.

Penny blinked, but shook off the comment.

"Yeah, okay, well, can you tell me what his deal is?"

"His deal?"

"I mean, I think he likes me, but then he just does something, and I just think I'm crazy for even getting that kind of idea. Like, when he asked me to the football game, I thought it was a date, but then he acted like he had just taken his sister with him, instead of…well, a real girl. Then when Rodger slept over, he gave me this look that made me think maybe it bothered him, but the next day he was talking to me like nothing ever happened. Then Monday night, he asked me out on a date." Penny explained, with the aid of rapid hand gestures.

Leonard stared at her intently, though he was hardly listening to what she was saying.

"So, what do you think?" She questioned after a few minutes of silence.

Leonard shrugged.

"Sheldon's a weird guy. I never really know if he likes me either."

"Ugh, Leonard, you know what I mean! Did he just ask me out on the date for some weird experiment, or because he felt bad for me, or do you think he really wants to go out with me?"

"I can't imagine anyone in the world who wouldn't want to go out with you."

Penny felt herself blush as Leonard looked down at his hands nervously.

"Sweetie, we're talking about Sheldon," she reminded him softly.

Leonard threw his hands in his lap, looking up at Penny.

"Why  _are_ we talking about Sheldon? He's a pain in the ass most of the time. It's like having an overgrown nine year-old who can win at 3-D chess. Do you even want to go on a date with him?" He questioned, sensing an opportunity to get closer to Penny.

Sure, he felt guilty putting down Sheldon behind his back, but his guilt lessened every time he looked at Penny. She was gorgeous, she was funny, and she was unpredictable. Sheldon wouldn't know what to do with a woman like Penny, if he had her.

"I don't know, but I feel like you're not being fair to him. He's got some good points."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

"Well, he dresses nice, he really tries to be sweet, and he's been such an unbelievable friend to me, already. I feel like I've known him forever. Haven't you ever been so comfortable with someone, that you just can't help being yourself, without even worrying if they'll like you for it or not? That's kind of how I feel around Sheldon."

Leonard rolled his eyes.

"That's not comfort, that's just not worrying about his opinion. Trust me. I've stopped caring about all of the strikes he gives me, too."

Penny shook her head, her eyebrows furrowing as she thought about it further.

"No, I think it's more than that. You know what? I think I just made my decision. Thanks Leonard, you really helped me work through all that. Was that some kind of reverse psychology thing you were doing?" She asked with a smile, jumping up from the couch.

Leonard rubbed his temples, not standing up as he spoke to Penny.

"Yeah, that's great, I'm happy to help."

Penny smiled at him before returning to her own apartment.

Once the door to his apartment was shut, Leonard stuffed his face in a pillow, groaning loudly in frustration.

Even when Sheldon was out of the apartment, there was a barrier between Leonard and Penny.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't  _right._ Sheldon had never posed as a problem to Leonard when it came to women. Conversely, women were so eager to get away from Sheldon that they had no choice but to approach Leonard instead.

Something just wasn't right.

* * *

"No way, dude, Batman could beat the Flash in an arm-wrestling match!" Raj argued as he and Sheldon got out of Raj's car, walking towards the apartment building.

Sheldon shook his head, frustrated at Raj's claim.

"Absolutely not, the Flash would have much more capacity to find better leverage. Batman has no physical capabilities that could combat the Flash."

"No, but he has a ton of cool gadgets! He could throw sand in the Flash's eyes, to catch him off-guard."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed.

"That's cheating."

"Batman is a badass. I think he would do it."

Raj suddenly squeaked, upon seeing Penny enter the lobby, just a few feet from where Sheldon was scowling at his mailbox.

"Hey, guys!" She smiled, approaching the two physicists.

Sheldon turned around, tucking his mail into his messenger bag.

"Hello Penny." He said, nodding his head towards her as Raj stared down at his shoes.

"So, Leonard tells me that you always get comic books before eating your Tuesday night burger. Are you guys about to go soon?" She questioned, glancing at Raj before returning her wide grin to Sheldon.

"Yes, I suppose we will be leaving in the next thirty minutes or so, assuming that Wolowitz is not late. Would you care to join us?"

"Sure, are you going to the Cheesecake Factory? I think I should get a look at the menu I'm going to have to learn to memorize. I got the job today. It's so weird. When I talked to the manager he said he didn't even know that they were putting applications in peoples' mailboxes! Did you get one, or am I just crazy?"

Raj squeaked loudly, looking between Sheldon and Penny wildly.

Sheldon cleared his throat, hoping to take attention off of Raj.

"Perhaps the company ran logarithms to determine who their target applicants would be."

"They can do that?"

Sheldon nodded.

"Oh, wow, well, I guess they have me all figured out, then. I'm just coming down to grab my laundry out of the machine. I'll meet you guys in your apartment when it's time to go get some burgers. Bye, Raj." Penny said, smiling at Raj in particular before walking off towards the laundry room.

Once she was out of earshot, Raj turned to Sheldon with a confused expression.

"Why did you put a Cheesecake Factory application in her mailbox?" He questioned, his eyebrows drawing together.

"I don't understand what you're referring to."

"You printed the Cheesecake Factory application during the day, and now Penny suddenly works there? Are you crazy? Were you just trying to find someone to handle your Tuesday burger when you started talking to her? Not cool, dude, not cool."

"Now, you don't know that. All you know is that I printed an application, and Penny received one in the mail."

"Should I tell Howard and Leonard? They could tell Penny on you."

Sheldon shook his head quickly.

"No, do not tell Penny."

"So you are using her for a Tuesday night burger. Sheldon, that's not okay."

"I'm not using her for a Tuesday night burger. That's just a bonus of her working there."

"Then why did you put the application in her mailbox? You  _hate_ touching other people's mailboxes."

Sheldon flinched.

"Howard must meet his wife."

Raj opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, looking puzzled at Sheldon's statement.

Sheldon sighed, starting to walk towards the basement, where no one would overhear him speaking to Raj about the future events that were driving his actions.

Raj followed him, still trying to figure out just what to say.

Once he closed the door to the maintenance room, locking it to be safe, he turned to Raj.

Raj's eyes were wide as he stared at the locked door.

Sheldon was crazy, but surely he wasn't crazy enough to be dangerous, right? Somehow, the thought wasn't comforting him as the lanky physicist approached him.

"I'm not twenty-four, I'm thirty years old. In 2013, I finally had the correct information to build a time machine. The machine created a new universe, where I may relive the past, changing it to accommodate my previous failures. Prior to my departure, Howard married a woman named Bernadette. I was comfortable with her place in the group. In order to re-establish her company, I must find a way to introduce the pair. Bernadette met Howard through Penny, who had worked at the Cheesecake Factory. Therefore, by pushing Penny towards employment at the Cheesecake Factory, I am increasing the odds of pairing Howard and Bernadette once again." Sheldon explained.

Raj gaped at him.

Sheldon had finally gone crazy. Something had set him off, and now he believed that he was from the future. He was spouting all this nonsense about Howard getting  _married,_ and time machines. Perhaps Leonard or Penny had replaced his usual attire with the trendy clothes he had been wearing, and it had driven him crazy.

Raj's hands twitched towards his cell phone, hoping that Leonard or Howard would find them, and calm Sheldon down.

Sheldon sighed, sensing that Raj didn't believe him.

"Here is my learning permit, I brought it along with me to serve as proof for anyone who might ask me about my origin."

"When did you take your written test?" Raj questioned, taking the permit from Sheldon.

"2008." Sheldon answered calmly, watching Raj observe the date written on the card.

Raj looked up at Sheldon as he returned the permit.

"Where did you make this?"

"I didn't make this, I received it in 2008, after Leonard refused to take me to the Pottery Barn to return my Star Wars sheets."

"I think we might need to call your mom."

Sheldon groaned. Raj clearly was not going to believe him very easily.

"Very well, I will prove it to you over the course of the week. In the meantime, please do not mention this to Leonard, Howard, or Penny. This is a very sensitive matter."

Raj nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off of Sheldon.

Sheldon glanced down at his watch, and sighed.

"Good  _Lord,_ now I'm off my schedule. We are three minutes and forty-seven seconds late to meet everyone in the apartment for departure. We may never avoid the dinner crowd now." He muttered, exiting the room to return to his apartment.

Raj walked behind him, his eyebrows still pulled together in confusion.

* * *

"You know, you didn't have to pay for my dinner again, Sheldon." Penny commented as she drove Sheldon and herself back to the apartment building after dinner.

Leonard had driven Raj and Howard, while Sheldon had insisted on going with Penny, stating that it would be unsafe to allow her to drive alone.

"I am aware that I didn't  _have_ to." Sheldon reminded her.

He was all out of excuses to pay for Penny's meals. He couldn't inform her that he had millions of dollars in his bank account, and he had been informed that speaking of someone's lack of finances was rude.

"Well, it was very sweet of you, so thank you."

"You're very welcome."

"So, about that date you were asking me about the other night," Penny started, throwing a sideways glance at Sheldon before returning her eyes to the road.

Sheldon's ears pricked up as he looked at her curiously.

"I think I would like to go with you."

Sheldon nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching into a slight smile.

"Very well. What would you like to do?"

Penny smiled to herself.

"I think it's the social convention for the guy to decide, Shelly."

He nodded again.

"Alright, I believe I can come up with something."

"I'm sure you can."

Sheldon stared straight ahead, trying to process just what constituted as a date. Amy Farrah Fowler had insisted on "couples singing night", but Sheldon knew better than to suggest this. He had heard Penny sing before. Amy had also insisted on attending a dinner out every so often, but Penny already ate with Sheldon almost every evening.

Leonard had taken Penny to dinner as well, but that hardly seemed different from any other evening. They had also attended movies, which seemed like a poor date environment. A dark room full of strangers was hardly a place to enjoy.

He would simply have to do some research.

"Are you okay, sweetie? It looks like steam is about to come out of your ears." Penny giggled, breaking Sheldon's concentration.

He looked at her blankly.

"While the human body is 75% water, it is physically impossible for steam to exit any of the natural extremities. Leonard was once convinced that he saw steam radiating off of Wolowitz one cold evening when we were traveling through Maryland, to visit the Smithsonian museums in D.C., but I still refuse to believe him." He responded calmly.

Penny nodded, still smiling.

"Thank you for that very informative story."

"You're very welcome." Sheldon allowed, not sensing Penny's sarcasm.

Penny rolled her eyes as her smile grew bigger.

A few minutes later, they were out of the car and walking up the stairs towards their apartments.

"So, when do you want to go on our little date? I was talking to my new manager about my schedule, and I think I'm free Saturday night." Penny said, smiling at Sheldon.

Sheldon shook his head vigorously.

"Saturday night is laundry night. What about Saturday afternoon?" He countered.

Penny raised her eyebrows at him.

She had never been on a date during the day before.

"Um, sure, I think Saturday afternoon is okay for me. So, what are we going to be doing? Painting the town red? Discovering how the Earth works?" She questioned, grinning at him widely.

Sheldon stared back at her blankly.

"I believe it is illegal to paint buildings in Pasadena without the proper permits. I also know how the Earth functions, to an extent. I would like to prove string theory. However, I do not believe dates generally consist of academic pursuits. It is my understanding that they consist primarily of small talk and frivolous jokes."

Penny laughed, shaking her head.

"I was kidding, sweetie."

"Ah."

They reached their apartments before Sheldon could answer Penny's initial question about the details of the date, much to Sheldon's relief. He was still unsure of what one did on a date. This would require some extensive research.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again for dinner, sweetie."

Sheldon nodded.

"Goodnight, Penny."

"Night,"

* * *

"Alright, Sheldon, why did you send a memo through the astrology department just to get me to come here? You have a phone, you could text me." Raj complained, walking into Sheldon's office that Friday afternoon.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows, but didn't argue.

"Would you please shut the door?" He instructed, getting out of his desk chair, and grabbing a few pages off of his printer.

Raj obliged, looking at him curiously.

"Do you recall our conversation on Tuesday afternoon, regarding my point of origin?"

Raj groaned.

"You still think you're from the future?"

"I never said that, I simply said I belonged to a different  _universe._ Moving on, I understand that you do not entirely believe me?"

"I thought you were over this."

Sheldon let out an annoyed grunt, but proceeded to hand Raj the stack of papers.

"I believe this information will help establish your trust."

"What's all of this?"

"This page is an accurate bracket for this year's football season. This page is full of knowledge you have not yet disclosed about yourself, but I have previously learned. This page is full of knowledge that Howard and Leonard have not yet disclosed about themselves. You can either learn these things through time, or ask them yourself. This page shows the election information for 2009. Finally, this page begins a full non-disclosure agreement."

Raj eyed Sheldon wearily, unsure of how to respond to his behavior.

If anyone was going to discover how to make time travel work, it would be Sheldon Cooper. He was acting very sure of himself, and was handing Raj information that would certainly prove whether or not Sheldon was telling the truth.

Still, if Sheldon had told Howard or Leonard the same thing, they would have immediately called Mary Cooper. They would have never let it get as far as it seemed to have gotten in his mind.

"Please, take a look at the information before you make any more assumptions." Sheldon implored.

Raj obliged, flipping through the information that Sheldon thought he had.

He immediately sat down in one of the armchairs in front of Sheldon's desk.

"How did you know that I always wanted to be a party planner? I mean, I'm so good at it, but Howard made me promise to never talk about it."

"You spoke of it after planning a Halloween party at Stuart's comic book store."

"I never threw a party at the comic book store."

"Yes you did. You simply haven't experienced it yet."

Raj rolled his eyes at Sheldon, but continued down the list.

"What do you mean I can speak to women when I consume alcohol? You know I can't talk to girls!"

Sheldon shook his head, his eyebrows raising as he prepared to argue.

"That's incorrect.  _Actually,_ when I left the universe that was based in 2013, you could speak to women freely. Your relationship termination with a woman named Lucy seemed to cause it. Prior to said termination, you resorted to consuming ethyl alcohol in order to speak to women. Your behavior was frequently unacceptable when you did so." He explained.

"How are you making all of this up so easily?" Raj questioned in frustration.

Sheldon had never been good at lying. That was one of the only good things about him.

"I'm not making any of this up. If you would like, I will escort you to the nearest distributor of alcohol."

"Fine, but you're paying for the drinks."

Sheldon shrugged, grabbing his windbreaker as he followed Raj out of his office.

* * *

"So he just started to talk to women, just like that? Why do you think drinking helps him?" Penny questioned after Sheldon informed her of Raj's progress.

Sheldon nodded, not looking up from the MapQuest that he had printed prior to their departure.

It was Saturday afternoon, the day of their scheduled date. Sheldon had been secretive about where they were going all week, and had even insisted on reading the directions to Penny while she drove them. Granted, it was partially for his own safety; he was aware of how multitasking contributed to car accidents.

"I believe in this particular instance, it was a placebo effect. Ultimately, I believe it lowers his coherence and inhibitions, to the point where his brain is not processing his pattern shyness." He mumbled, knowing that Penny would not understand his explanation.

Penny nodded, pretending to know exactly what Sheldon was rambling about.

"Are we almost there, yet? I feel like we've been driving forever." She complained, trying to look for landmarks that would give away where they were.

Sheldon glanced out the passenger's window, and nodded.

"Turn right here, and we will arrive at our destination."

Penny did as she was instructed, pulling into an unfamiliar parking lot.

"Can you tell me where we are yet?" She questioned as they got out of the car.

Sheldon shrugged.

"I  _could_ have told you when I originally made the plans, I simply opted to withhold the information."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling.

"Will you please tell me where the hell we are?"

"Certainly. We're at the rodeo."

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry, which part of that sentence confused you?"

"We're at the  _rodeo_?"

"Yes. Is this not okay? Are you unhappy with my selection?"

Sheldon frowned, searching Penny's face for some indication of the answer.

Penny shook her head vigorously.

"No, no, this is...this is really great, actually. I just don't understand  _why_ you brought me here. Don't you hate all of this stuff?" She questioned, looking up at him curiously.

"I believe the purpose of a date is to become better acquainted with one another. Assuming that is the case, I heard you discussing your history as a junior rodeo champion with Howard, in the context of a threat, and thought it would be appropriate to take you to the rodeo. I...um...I assumed that two people in the paradigm we are in would share important aspects of their lives with one another. I thought I would start by learning about things that were important to you." Sheldon explained, feeling his cheeks turn slightly red as Penny stared up at him.

She couldn't help but smile at his explanation.

"Wow, Sheldon, that's so sweet."

"I thought next time, we could go to the train museum. I could teach you about trains."

Penny grinned up at him.

"I would love that."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

 

"I have to say, I never thought I would have fun in a train museum, but today was actually really nice. Thank you for another very nice date, Sheldon." Penny said as they approached their apartments.

Sheldon nodded at the smiling Penny, pleased that she had taken an interest in trains.

"I'm glad you enjoyed learning about trains. I told you the museum would be fun and informative. Well, goodnight, Penny. I'm sure I'll see you in our apartment by tomorrow morning." He said, his eyes searching her face momentarily before he turned towards his apartment.

"Wait a minute," Penny interjected, grabbing Sheldon's arm to stop him.

Sheldon turned around, first looking at Penny's hand on his arm, then at Penny's face questioningly.

"What are you doing?" She questioned, the smile fading from her face.

"I was returning to my apartment, prior to your outburst. Did you wish to receive an invitation?"

"No…Sheldon, have you ever dated before?"

"I went on a date with you last weekend. We attended the rodeo."

"No, I mean, have you ever dated another girl before?"

Sheldon hesitated. Leonard had led him to believe that lying to women was never a beneficial way to begin a relationship, but Sheldon intended to introduce Penny to Amy, who had no recollection of being in a relationship with him.

He was insufficient at lying, but he compromised with his morality, determining that he would give Amy a fake alias, so Penny would believe Sheldon's ex-girlfriend was a woman she did not know.

"Yes. Her name was Allie-Mae Reynoldson." Sheldon supplied, feeling his cheeks turn red.

Penny looked at him for a minute before nodding slowly.

"Allie-Mae?"

"She was back in Texas," Sheldon muttered.

"Right, well, did you ever kiss Allie-Mae?"

"I did, once or twice – oh." Sheldon mumbled, his eyes widening as he realized why Penny was suddenly bringing up his romantic history.

He had heard that kissing one's significant other after a date was an optional, though generally preferred, social convention.

His eyes flicked to Penny's lips.

They had a very slippery appearance, likely due to the excessive amount of lip gloss he had seen her apply prior to the car ride back to the apartment building. Neither of them had taken the liberty of using mouthwash in the past few hours, which made Sheldon even more uncomfortable.

Still, his goal was to make Penny happy, especially after she had been so pleasant at the train museum. If she felt it was necessary for him to kiss her before making his escape, he would have to at least  _attempt_ to kiss her.

"Look, sweetie, I don't want to put you outside of your comfort zone, but I just want to know if this is something we should continue, or if you need some time to work things out." Penny explained bluntly, staring Sheldon straight in the eyes.

Sheldon nodded, leaning in and touching his lips to her quickly.

He stared at her wide-eyed once he backed up.

The kiss had not been as unpleasant as his past ones were. Her lips were very soft, and for once, he was the one who had leaned in, initiating it himself.

A smile broke across Penny's face as she processed what had just happened.

_Good,_ Sheldon thought to himself, pleased that he had made Penny happy, without risking too much at his own expense.

* * *

"Sheldon, I'm about to cut out of work early, do you want to go to the comic book store now?" Raj asked that Tuesday afternoon, entering Sheldon's office after knocking.

Sheldon looked up from his whiteboard and nodded. He was eager to get away from the work he had resolved years ago.

Once Raj trapped Sheldon in the car, he glanced at him, starting the conversation.

"So, I  _think_ I believe that you're from the future."

Sheldon sighed, ignoring Raj's ignorance to the complex details of his unique situation.

"I'm glad you finally came to your senses."

Raj nodded, guiding his car towards the comic book store.

"So, in the future, I get dumped by a girl, right after I figure out how to talk to women?"

"No, you get over your pathological shyness  _after_ your relationship is terminated by Lucy. Honestly, Rajesh, do you ever listen?"

Raj rolled his eyes.

"The point is: I end up alone?"

"In the universe I was in, yes, you were alone at the time of my departure."

Raj groaned loudly.

Sheldon jumped at the sudden noise, staring at Raj expectantly.

"So Howard gets married, and I'm alone? What about you and Leonard? Were you at least alone, as well?"

Sheldon paused.

"No."

Raj threw his head back, groaning even louder in frustration as he put the car into park.

Sheldon stared back at him, unsure of how to respond to the increasingly emotional astronomer.

"What is so unlovable about me? I wish I had a friend like me, I'm adorable! What's the point of even trying if I won't ever get a girlfriend? Maybe I should just give up." Raj whined, closing his eyes as his head rested on the back of his seat.

Sheldon took a minute to analyze the situation before responding.

"The 'future' that I am speaking of was created based off of the path you were currently on at this time. I believe I have caused you to become more self-aware during this brief car ride. You now know that you can speak to women with the assistance of alcohol, and you now know that your pathological shyness is something you can overcome, if you so choose."

Raj took a moment to let Sheldon's statement to sink in before continuing to whine.

"But even with all of that information, how am I supposed to find love? You said it yourself, I'm a tool when I'm drunk, and I don't know how to talk to women without alcohol yet!"

"You will learn. I have seen you overcome the consequences. Additionally, you may find a girlfriend, if you simply change the course you have currently set yourself on. Instead of looking for 'hook-ups' as Howard crudely refers to them, look for a woman who means something to you."

Raj's eyebrows furrowed.

"I can't believe I'm getting romance advice from  _Sheldon Cooper._ "

Sheldon's eyes narrowed, understanding the implications of Raj's comment.

"I am a genius, and currently, the only one of the group with a functional romantic pairing." He reminded Raj as they stepped out of the car and walked into the comic book store.

Stuart instantly looked up, hearing Sheldon's voice.

"Oh, yeah, how are you and Penny? Are you actually in a relationship?" Raj questioned, flipping through the Green Lantern comic books as Sheldon approached the collectibles.

He looked over at Raj, shrugging.

"We have not signed a relationship agreement. Leonard informed me that the third date is when the status of the relationship is determined."

"Well, when are you going on your third date?"

"I believe we will be watching a movie of Penny's choosing Friday evening."

"Are you going out, or staying in?"

"Penny informed me that we are staying in to watch what she refers to as "classics". I hardly think that's an accurate description, as there aren't any Star Trek or Star Wars movies included, but I chose the activity for the past two dates." Sheldon sighed, looking down at a Superman action figure.

"Oh, I love the classics, what are you watching?"

"One of them has to do with wind, I believe. Perhaps it's a documentary on weather."

"You mean Gone with the Wind?"

"Yes, have you heard of it?"

Raj laughed at the image of Sheldon watching a movie that romanticized the South during the Civil War era. While his profession was science, he was very knowledgeable about history. He would likely drive Penny crazy by the intermission.

Sheldon huffed after not getting an answer, turning back to the collectibles silently.

* * *

"Hey guys, I love seeing you every Tuesday! It gives me a nice break from the demanding customers, and I  _know_ I'm going to get great tips, right?" Penny teased as she approached the guys' table at the Cheesecake Factory, nudging Sheldon with the side of her hip playfully.

Sheldon scowled at her before looking at the menu.

"Hey Penny," Leonard chuckled, amused at how Penny could modify Sheldon's behavior so easily.

Raj whispered something in Howard's ear that caused him to laugh, which Penny ignored.

She quickly took down the boys' orders, and disappeared into the back, likely to make sure none of the chef's spit in Sheldon's difficult order.

"When are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend, Sheldon? Girls like that don't happen very often for guys like us. You may have bought clothes right out of her magazines, but you still have all that personality behind the clothes." Howard reminded Sheldon, who glanced down at his clothes before glowering back.

"I am aware of the ratio of women similar to Penny."

"I know you don't take his opinion seriously, but he is right, you know. I  _wish_ I had a chance with a girl like that. You should try to keep her at all costs." Leonard advised, peering over his thick-rimmed glasses at an exasperated Sheldon.

Sheldon snorted.

"Let up on him guys, it's his first girl. He's probably just nervous." Raj interjected, sympathizing for Sheldon.

Sheldon had lost interest in the conversation, and had begun to glance around the restaurant, until he saw exactly who he was looking for.

Bernadette was just a few tables over, smiling widely as she spoke to her customers.

Once the guys were finished eating, they began to collect their things, throwing generous tips on the table as they did so.

"You coming, Sheldon?" Leonard questioned, noticing that Sheldon had not put on his windbreaker.

Sheldon shook his head.

"I will go home with Penny. Good evening, gentlemen." He responded, barely glancing at them as he stalked off towards the bar, where Bernadette seemed to now be working.

Leonard and Howard immediately took off towards their cars, not arguing with having free time from Sheldon. Raj lingered behind momentarily, watching Sheldon approach Bernadette, before walking towards the parking lot with the guys, sighing.

* * *

"Hello." Sheldon said, sliding into one of the uncomfortable bar seats as he kept his focus on Bernadette.

"Hi."

He analyzed her curious facial expression, determining that she was either uncomfortable with speaking to him, or she was fearful of something.

Recalling her conservative history, he determined that she was likely uncomfortable with concept of speaking to a male over the bar counter. She likely anticipated amorous statements, or inappropriate suggestions.

"I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I would like whatever ethyl alcohol you recommend the most."

"Oh, are you that physicist at CalTech? I think I've read one of your journals." Bernadette commented as she rushed to prepare Sheldon's drink.

"Yes, I am a theoretical physicist at CalTech. Are you involved in science?" He questioned, understanding that he could not simply reveal he was aware of so much of Bernadette's life.

"I am, actually, I'm studying for my doctorate in microbiology. I'm just working here to pay off a few bills that get in my way until I start making big bucks." She responded, smiling down at Sheldon's drink.

"I see. Would you mind telling me about your dissertation? I have taken a mild interest in the inner-workings of the brain over the years," Sheldon commented, thinking back on all of the experiments and information he had gone through with Amy Farrah Fowler.

Bernadette willingly obliged as she handed Sheldon his drink, leaning closer to him as she spoke, barely addressing any other customers that sat down at the bar.

* * *

Penny couldn't help but notice Sheldon sitting at the  _bar_ talking to the new girl, Bernadette, as she strode between tables.

Sheldon had been refusing to drink for weeks, spelling out the evils of alcohol to her each time she took a sip of wine, and yet, there he was, nodding his head as he sipped his long island iced tea, seeming to hang on to every word that Bernadette spoke.

Penny grew increasingly insecure as Bernadette giggled, causing Sheldon to nod and stare down at his drink.

It made sense for Sheldon to speak to Bernadette; they were both really smart, and into science, in a way that Penny just could not understand. Bernadette was really pretty, in that cute, dainty way that a lot of boys really liked.

And, now that she was thinking about it, she  _had_ been a little bit sarcastic at the train museum. Sheldon hadn't seemed to mind at the time, but he could have been too embarrassed to scold her. He had been sharing something that meant a lot to him, she should have been more supportive.

Not to mention, she had practically forced him to kiss her. She had been able to gather enough information about Sheldon over the past few weeks to know that he wasn't particularly fond of physical contact. He had already been pushing himself to accommodate her, and she had still asked for more. She had been giddy after he had kissed her, but now she just felt sick to her stomach.

As time passed, Penny grew increasingly unhappy.

She was mad at Sheldon for moving to Bernadette so quickly, without even giving her a fair warning, and she was mad at herself for causing it.

Finally, after hours of slamming down plates, and being snide with the customers, it was finally the end of her shift.

As she walked past the bar, she heard Sheldon's voice behind her.

"Penny, I need a ride back to Los Robles."

Penny spun around, not bothering to conceal her anger.

"Why didn't you just leave when the rest of the guys did?"

Sheldon looked down at his shoes.

"I wanted to speak to you further."

"It seemed like you were happy enough talking to Bernadette."

Sheldon looked up, nodding a little too vigorously.

"Yes, she is quite interesting. I was asking her if she would like to double date with us. I believe she and Howard would be an acceptable pair."

Penny raised her eyebrows.

Sheldon was just crazy enough to try to set someone like Howard up with a girl he knew, but it could have just as easily been an excuse for the unusual amount of attention he paid to Bernadette.

"You want to set  _Howard_ up with  _Bernadette?_ " She questioned, placing her hands on her hips as she stood outside the restaurant, staring Sheldon down.

He nodded.

"Yes, I believe that Bernadette's good nature and conservative background will cause Howard to grow out of his currently offensive personality. From what I have gathered, they both live with their parents, allowing for a common ground to start off of. They can then branch out to discuss the lesser sciences they are a part of." He explained, confused at Penny's facial expression.

"So you think that setting Howard up with a girl will make him less perverted?"

"Ideally, yes."

"And you're telling me that you saw Bernadette working at the bar, thought 'hey, let me set her up with Howard' immediately?"

"No, I originally wished to wait for you to complete your required work hours."

Penny raised a single eyebrow.

"And waiting required drinking an entire long island iced tea?"

"Social convention dictates that sitting at a bar requires a purchase of some sort."

Penny rolled her eyes as Sheldon stared at her in clear confusion.

"Oh, sweetie, do you even know what's in long island iced tea?" She questioned, unable to help smiling.

Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed.

"Is it not simply imported tea?"

Penny laughed, taking his arm and guiding him towards her car.

He trudged next to her, moving slowly, as if walking was something new to him.

"Let's just get you home. I know Leonard is going to have a fun time struggling with you tonight." She giggled.

* * *

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

Penny opened the door to her apartment, grinning from ear to ear at the lanky physicist standing at her door.

"Hey there Tex, have you recovered from your night of fun yet?"

Sheldon glowered at her.

"Yes, my brain has returned to its original condition."

"That's good. I wouldn't want you to be lying on my floor with a hangover while I got to watch all of the fun movies. You know, alcohol isn't very good for your liver. Not to mention, it…how did you say it…dulls the mind?" She teased, ruffling his hair before skipping over to the couch, where movies were piled on the cluttered coffee table.

"Good  _Lord,_ I had better call Mr. Denophrio," Sheldon mumbled to himself before following Penny over to the couch.

He sat down, eying her warily, making sure the appropriate distance was between them.

"Okay, so we're going to start out with Gone with the Wind, then I thought we would sink back into Pride and Prejudice. I think you'll like Mr. Darcy." She smiled, scooting closer to him on the couch.

Sheldon nodded, slightly distracted by the scent of Penny's vanilla shampoo.

She leaned against him lightly; not enough force was applied to be considered uncomfortable or threatening, she had made sure of that.

He stared down at her curiously, unsure of whether to scowl or smile.

She was close to him. She was  _very_ close to him, as a matter of fact. He could count each hair follicle on her head, which he would likely resort to out of boredom, judging from the pictures on the movie covers. Theoretically, he should not have liked such close proximities with anyone, aside from his family on very rare occasions. It went against every rule he had created, and every judgment he had made.

Yet, there she was, and there he was, lounging comfortably on the couch. He enjoyed the warmth of her body against the side of his, he enjoyed her soft, yet distinct scent, and he enjoyed that she shared this level of intimacy with him, as opposed to any other male suitors she could have entertained.

Despite himself, Sheldon felt the corners of his mouth twitching into his koala smile.

* * *

"Sheldon got  _hammered_ last night." Leonard laughed as Howard and Raj stared at him in shock.

"You mean, with alcohol?" Raj clarified in disbelief.

"Yeah, Penny brought him back at like,  _midnight,_ and said the bartender had given him a long island iced tea. She dumped him on me, and then he started rambling about time travel, and how he knew about another universe. I think he's seen Back to the Future a little too much in the past few weeks."

Raj's eyes grew wider as Howard and Leonard laughed.

"I don't know if Sheldon being drunk would be terrifying or hilarious. With him, there's such a fine line between the two." Howard mumbled, smirking.

Leonard chuckled in agreement, while Raj forced himself to laugh.

"So where is the raging alcoholic now? I'd like to have some payback for every time he showed me a picture of a failed liver." Howard questioned, craning his neck to get a glimpse of Sheldon walking around the apartment.

"He's at Penny's. They're watching movies tonight, the poor bastard. Before he left, he was writing a relationship agreement, though. I think they might be getting serious." Leonard said, pushing his glasses up as the subject shifted to a serious topic.

Raj and Howard both exhaled deeply in surprise.

"He's getting drunk and hooking up with hot girls? When did Sheldon Cooper become cooler than us?" Raj whined.

Leonard and Howard both shook their heads, equally baffled by the situation.

"I guess Penny had a bigger effect on him than I thought she would. I'm not complaining, though."

Howard laughed, shaking his head again.

" _All_ you were doing was complaining! Why are you suddenly so okay with Sheldon and Penny?"

Leonard shrugged.

"I guess she's doing more good for him than she would for me. Besides, she kind of scares me. She can be really mean, did you know that?"

"Yeah," Howard sighed, the smirk returning to his face.

"I never thought I would see the day Sheldon Cooper had a girlfriend. Especially not while the rest of us were still single." Raj groaned.

"Maybe he can hook us up." Howard muttered.

"Maybe  _Penny_ can hook us up." Leonard corrected him.

* * *

Later that evening, Leonard heard the apartment door slam.

"Hey buddy, how was your night? Do you have a new girlfriend?" He teased, seeing Sheldon scoot into the apartment.

Sheldon looked at Leonard, slightly startled, but regained his composure.

"I presented Penny with the option of signing a relationship agreement, yes."

"What did she say?"

"She said she would have to think about it. I suppose there were a lot of difficult words for someone of her intellectual caliber to decipher. Well, goodnight, Leonard." Sheldon murmured, shuffling towards his room as Leonard stared at him in confusion.

Usually Sheldon would be chattering non-stop upon arriving from a date with Penny. He liked to tell Leonard all about the locations he went, the activities they engaged in, constantly asking whether he followed the correct social protocol. Sheldon frequently asked questions about the next date, and the time table for progressing in a relationship.

It was obvious that Sheldon's pride had been wounded by Penny's hesitant answer.

Leonard sighed, walking across the hall to Penny's apartment.

He looked down at the ground as he knocked on the door once, to let her know that Sheldon was nowhere in the proximity.

"Hey Leonard, what's up?" Penny questioned in confusion, after answering the door.

"Listen, we need to talk."

"Oh, no, are you breaking up with me?" Penny teased, letting Leonard into her apartment.

Leonard fidgeted with his fingers, eventually glancing up at her.

"I know that Sheldon asked you to be his girlfriend, in his own special kind of way."

"Oh…yeah,"

"You should just know that he's… _different._ This is the first time I've ever seen him make any attempts at dating. He doesn't put things on the line very often, so he's not used to rejection. He's really sticking his neck under the blade for you."

Penny gulped.

"I kind of figured that. He tried to make up some story about dating a girl named Allie-Mae."

Leonard's eyebrows furrowed before he responded.

"Yeah, well, try to go easy on him. He's not the same as most of the guys you've dated. He doesn't know what games are, in reference to emotions, and he doesn't know how to put his guard up."

Penny nodded.

"What I'm trying to say is: Sheldon is trying. He's really,  _really_ trying for you, and he's not protecting himself in the process. Please don't take advantage of that. I don't want to see him get hurt."

"Believe me, Leonard, hurting Sheldon is the last thing I want to do." Penny whispered.

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Wait, you what?" Howard screeched, drawing attention to the guys' table in the university cafeteria.

Sheldon stared back at him wide-eyed, confused at his reaction.

"I met a woman at the Cheesecake Factory who agreed to go on a double date with Penny, myself, and you." He repeated, concerned about Howard's behavior.

"What does she look like? Is she hot?" Howard demanded, leaning forward eagerly.

Sheldon leaned back, creases appearing above his nose as he looked at Howard irritably.

"She is aesthetically pleasing, yes. I believe she will complement you nicely."

Leonard and Howard both gaped at Sheldon in disbelief. Raj, on the other hand, just looked disgusted.

"Wow, thank you, Sheldon." Howard finally managed to splutter.

"What about us?" Leonard whined, gesturing to the space in between him and Raj.

Sheldon looked at them in exasperation.

He was a cutting-edge physicist. Even if he was years above where he should have been, he still had more important things to do than scour Pasadena for women who might agree to attend a date with Leonard or Raj.

"Honestly, Leonard, I believe you are more than capable of finding a woman to fawn over all by yourself. Howard, on the other hand, is insufferable, and will likely die alone without the aid of a more advanced being, such as myself."

Leonard and Raj both chuckled as Howard's eyes narrowed.

"I think I could find someone by myself. I've had a lot of women." Howard growled.

Sheldon crossed his arms across his chest, leaning back in his chair.

"I believe she will be a  _lasting_ structure in your life." He responded evenly, not understanding why Howard was getting upset.

"Whoa, whoa, I'm not sure that I'm ready to take myself off of the market quite yet. I haven't had time to sow my wild oats, have some crazy adventures. Just because you're happy with eating the same oatmeal every day, doesn't mean that I have to suffer the same fate." Howard objected, looking to Leonard and Raj for support.

Both Leonard and Raj shrugged, continuing to watch the argument in amusement.

* * *

"So, Sheldon said that you're an engineer?" Bernadette questioned in her oddly high-pitched voice.

Howard shot Sheldon one last dirty look before answering her question.

Sheldon had been relentless in his efforts to get Howard to at least  _meet_ Bernadette, for some odd reason.

Penny, on the other hand, didn't seem to care whether or not Howard even looked at Bernadette. She just kept glancing at Sheldon before finding something else to occupy her attention.

Howard's phone rang, interrupting the awkward dinner.

"Sorry, it's my mother."

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"You know, I'm torn. On one hand, she could just be asking me to pick up some Oreos at the grocery store on my way home, but on the other hand, she could be dying of a heart attack. I wouldn't want to miss that." Howard mumbled, twitching his lips to the side in staged contemplation.

"Your mom is that bad, huh?" Bernadette questioned curiously.

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Yeah, mine is pretty bad, too."

"When I was eleven, she made me wear a helmet to school, because one of the other kids had lice," He challenged.

"My mom wouldn't let me pray on my knees once I turned thirteen, because she was afraid that I would get too familiar in that position."

Howard chuckled, racking his brain for a story to trump Bernadette's.

"My mom hid a baby monitor in my room so she could stop me when I tried to lose my virginity."

"Did she?"

"No, there were no baby monitors in my Corolla."

Penny's lip curled up in disgust.

"I lost mine in a Camry!" Bernadette squeaked, pointing her hands at herself as she blushed deeply.

Howard's jaw dropped, but quickly formed a wide grin.

Sheldon smirked at the pair, knowing that Wolowitz would likely view Bernadette as an acceptable mate. Time did not change that; their personalities complimented each other. It was science.

Penny looked at Sheldon in surprise, wondering just how he knew that sweet Bernadette would get along so well with perverted Howard.

Sheldon nodded back, not breaking eye contact.

Penny quickly distracted herself with picking at her salad; the image of Sheldon's piercing blue eyes still fresh in her mind.

* * *

It was Monday afternoon and Dr. Sheldon Cooper was locked in his office scowling at his whiteboard.

He had indulged himself in progressing, advancing his knowledge slightly, when no one was looking. The research he had been pretending to contemplate was below his intellectual level; it was simply busy work. He needed something to stimulate his brain until he could safely release his knowledge, returning to the level he had been working at prior to the universe alteration.

There was a knock on the door, interrupting his train of thought.

Sighing heavily, he flipped his whiteboard around; the other side showed the work he was supposed to be sifting through for the next three weeks.

He opened the door briskly, bracing himself for the stinging remarks of Leslie Winkle, or Barry Kripke.

To his mild surprise, Penny was standing on the other side of the door, glancing around anxiously.

"Penny?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows.

"Hey there, Dr. Cooper, mind if I come in for a minute?" She questioned, slipping past him into his office.

He turned to frown at her.

She was in his office. She was not supposed to be in his office.

Penny didn't seem to mind this fact as she sat on the edge of his desk, looking around at all of the formulas and models scattered around the little office.

"To what can I owe the pleasure?" Sheldon demanded, cocking his eyebrow to let her know that he did not actually consider her current presence a pleasure.

She was supposed to know that his office was for work.

"Well, since you do me the  _courtesy_ of visiting me at work every Tuesday, I thought that I would return the favor. I also wanted to talk about this," she responded, pulling a thick stack of papers out of her purse.

Sheldon nodded, crossing his arms.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Are you really going to make me sign a contract saying I'll be your girlfriend? Don't you think that's a little…oh, I don't know, crazy?"

His eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested."

"Do you really expect me to sign this?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Do you not want to sign it?"

"That's not the point!"

"What is the point?"

Penny groaned in frustration.

"Damn it, Sheldon, why are you making me sign this? Can't you just ask me like a normal guy?"

"I would feel more comfortable if the parameters were outlined. I understand that you are frustrated by this concept, so I will explain. I've never been entirely…comfortable with physical interactions, the way others are. I have been working to observe the normal interactions, as well as slowly building up a level of comfort with various types of physical contact. I am pleased with my progress, but I do not want to mislead you about the process, or the rate at which I gain comfort. Therefore, I have outlined the possibilities, allowing you to understand what would be expected of the both of us."

Penny blinked, staring at Sheldon, who met her gaze calmly.

"So, you're saying this is your excuse not to touch me?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all, do you even listen, Penny? I am saying that I would like for you to be aware of my situations and expectations. If you have expectations of your own, I would encourage you to contribute to the relationship agreement; if you intend to sign it, that is."

Penny glowered at Sheldon.

Now she had no choice. She wanted that nut job for herself, and this seemed to be the only way to get him. She couldn't just seduce him into forgetting about the agreement; he would probably douse the both of them in hand sanitizer if she tried.

"Ass." She growled, snatching the pen from behind Sheldon's ear, and scribbling down her name on the dotted line.

* * *

"Hey guys, mind if I invite Bernie over for dinner tonight? We've been texting all week, and she really wants to meet all of you." Howard commented as the usual group assembled around the coffee table, which was covered with takeout boxes.

Raj and Leonard's eyes narrowed as they turned to him, but Penny responded first, smiling widely.

"Please do, I would love to have another girl to talk to!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, only mildly annoyed at the prospect.

"Great, now the women-folk will cluck about fashion, and shoes. Here I thought this apartment was dedicated to science." He murmured good-naturedly.

Penny grinned back at him, nudging him with her shoulder gently.

"Please, like you're not into fashion? We all see you strut around in your cute little outfits all day. You're secretly just as into fashion as we are, sweetie."

Sheldon looked at her, taken aback, as the rest of the guys chuckled.

"That's different."

"Oh, is it really?"

"Yes. This clothing is for experimentation purposes."

"You don't say. How's the experiment going?"

"Very well, thank you for asking." Sheldon responded, staring into his take-out box, filled with what was  _supposed_ to be tangerine chicken, clearly not understanding that Penny was teasing him.

"Bernie should be here any minute. Try to be cool, guys. She still thinks that I'm a smooth player." Howard said, glancing at the room cautiously.

Penny choked on the fried rice she had been eating, while Leonard and Raj chuckled to themselves. Sheldon simply looked back at Howard in exasperation, wondering when his repellent behavior would be modified by Bernadette's influence.

"Wow Howard, it sounds like you really like this girl. Think she might be enough to get you to finish sowing your wild oats?" Leonard joked, looking at Howard in amusement.

Howard shrugged, clearly taking his question seriously.

"I don't know if I'm ready to do that yet. Would you be disappointed if all of this was unavailable, Penny?" He asked, attempting to shoot Penny a sultry facial expression.

Sheldon fumed, not taking his eyes off of Howard as Penny responded.

"Yeah, I'd feel a little bit bad for Bernadette at first, but I think she could probably whip you into shape."

Leonard and Raj burst into laughter as Howard shrugged her comment off with a sheepish grin.

* * *

Later that evening, Penny sighed as she leaned against Sheldon, whose eyes were glued to the TV.

They were watching Indiana Jones, upon Sheldon's insistence. He had informed her that it was his turn to choose the movie, and that he would be sharing something very important with her.

She didn't even mind the movie; it was an excuse to sit in a dark room curled up next to Sheldon, who would usually frown at the physical contact. The movie had distracted him from his social anxiety, to the point where Penny was able to grab his arm, wrapping it around herself as she leaned in to him.

"Sheldon?"

"Mmm?"

It was clear that it was taking a large amount of self-control for him to avoid shushing her, or giving her a strike for talking during his favorite movie, which he would have likely done if it had been Leonard, Howard, or Raj.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. What are you thanking me for?"

"I don't know. Everything, I guess. Being such a nice guy, and sharing so much of your life with me, even after only knowing me for a few weeks."

Sheldon softened slightly.

"No Penny. Thank  _you_ for allowing me to share, and for sharing, yourself. I never thought I would be comfortable with… _this_ ," Sheldon nodded towards his arm, "but it feels…nice."

He even seemed puzzled by his statement as Penny smiled up at him.

Then, suddenly, it happened.

He gave her a look that made her gut wretch.

 


	10. Chapter 10

_Knock, knock, knock._ "Leonard."

_Knock, knock, knock._ "Leonard."

_Knock, knock, knock._ "Leonard?"

Leonard couldn't avoid getting up and shuffling to his door. The tone in Sheldon's voice suggested that he was upset over something; likely another illness he discovered on WebMD during one of his late-night searches.

He sighed as he opened the door to face his quirky roommate, already knowing he was unprepared for whatever Sheldon was about to tell him.

To Leonard's surprise, Sheldon looked like he was on the brink of tears.

"You okay, buddy?"

Sheldon nodded.

"I need to sleep here."

"Huh?"

"I need to sleep here. You may sleep on the couch."

Leonard ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Maybe there was another large bug in Sheldon's room. Something neither of them were equipped to handle, physically or emotionally. Maybe Sheldon had found sheets that were too stimulating for him again. Maybe Sheldon was just insane and made little to no sense a large majority of the time.

"Why can't you sleep in your own room?"

"Penny is there." Sheldon whispered, glancing over his shoulder cautiously.

Leonard's eyebrows furrowed.

"What happened with you and Penny? You look like you're about to have a breakdown." He questioned, watching Sheldon squirm as his upper lip trembled.

"Penny attempted to push the limits of the physical interactions I am comfortable with, in the hopes of accelerating my progress. Please Leonard, I need to sleep here." Sheldon begged, his blue eyes growing wide as his upper lip quivered uncontrollably.

"Okay, buddy, I'll sleep on the couch. Let me just grab a blanket." Leonard said softly, trudging back into his room, with Sheldon at his heels.

"Thank you, Leonard." Sheldon mumbled as he tucked himself into the bed.

Leonard nodded at him before walking to the couch, his eyebrows still furrowed in confusion.

* * *

"Oh, crap," Penny whispered to herself, waking up in Sheldon's bed the next morning.

Her memory was slightly hazy, due to the few glasses of wine she had knocked back when Sheldon was too distracted by the movie to scold her, but she was aware enough to understand that the sequence of events the previous night had not just been a nightmare.

She had pushed Sheldon way too far.

Penny quickly gathered her clothes, putting them on as quickly as possible, before slipping out of Sheldon's room, hoping to exit the apartment unnoticed.

Damn. Leonard was asleep on the couch. She would have to be very quiet in order to make it past him.

Doing her best to tip toe past him, she glided over to the door, breathing a sigh of relief as she reached it without Leonard stirring.

"Freeze." Leonard barked as she turned the doorknob.

"Damn." Penny muttered, turning around to face Leonard.

"What happened between you and Sheldon last night? He came into my room in the middle of the night, insisting on sleeping in my bed, because you had pushed the boundaries of what he was comfortable with, or something. He looked like he was about to  _cry._ " Leonard demanded, folding his arms across his chest as he looked at Penny.

Penny matched his glare evenly, not wanting to receive a lecture from Leonard.

He had no idea what he was talking about. It was none of his business.

_Still, he had said Sheldon was about to cry_ , Penny thought guiltily, sparing a glance towards Leonard's room, where Sheldon was hiding out.

"Leonard, it's none of your business. This is between me and Sheldon."

"It became my business when my roommate kicked me out of my own room because his girlfriend chased him out of his own. What happened last night? Why are you doing this to him?" Leonard insisted, blocking the apartment door, so Penny couldn't escape.

"He scared me, okay?" Penny admitted, glowering at Leonard.

Leonard's posture relaxed as he looked at Penny in confusion.

"He scared you? What, did he try to explain physics to you?"

Penny shook her head, smiling slightly as she brushed her hair out of her face.

"No, everything was just going so perfect and he just, he gave me  _the look_ ," Penny explained.

Leonard's eyebrows jumped up; clearly he was expecting further explanation.

"The look?"

She sighed.

"When I was little, I would watch Disney princess movies with my mom and when the princesses met their prince, he would give them this  _look,_ and they would both just  _know._ He would just kind of look at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and you just knew they would get their happily ever after."

Leonard continued looking at her in confusion.

"I don't know if I'm ready for an ever after and when Sheldon looked at me like that, it just really scared me. I guess I just tried to push him as far away as I could before things got too serious. I know it wasn't fair to Sheldon, but…" She trailed off, searching Leonard's face with pleading eyes.

Leonard crumbled under her look.

Sighing, he stepped away from the door, allowing Penny to make her escape before Sheldon woke up.

"You're going to have to explain this to him." He called after her, as an afterthought.

She closed her door quickly, making his heart sink.

Single Sheldon Cooper had been unbearable, taken Sheldon hadn't been half bad. There was no telling which end of the spectrum broken-hearted Sheldon would be on.

* * *

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

Penny opened the door meekly, anticipating the fight they would shortly find themselves in.

"May I come in?" He questioned, looking at her expectantly.

"Uh…yeah, I guess if you want to."

Sheldon nodded, entering the apartment, and striding over to the center of the room.

"I understand that I upset you last evening."

Penny sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"Sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm really sorry about everything. I'm sure you'll find someone who respects your physical boundaries, and doesn't go off the deep end every time things are too perfect."

She hated surrendering someone as special as Sheldon over to someone who likely deserved him more, but she had no choice. It was easier for her to accept the breakup before she even heard him utter the dreaded words: 'it's not you, it's me'.

Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't want someone else, I would like that respect from you."

"Wait, you still want to date me after last night?"

"It is my understanding that there are often fights in a relationship. If your actions last night were caused by your fear of commitment, as opposed to a mere lack of respect, I am willing to overlook them."

Penny looked at Sheldon in surprise.

Usually when she had a meltdown in a relationship, the guy was running away as fast as his legs would carry him. Sheldon, who was so harsh and assuming with his own friends, was stunning her by standing steadily by her side, seemingly un-fazed by her commitment issues.

As she racked her brain for a good response to Sheldon's statement, he opened his mouth to speak once again.

"Now, Leonard informed me of your discussion with him this morning, as you may have assumed. He informed me that I looked at you in a way that made you uncomfortable. Would you like me to modify my repertoire of facial expressions, to accommodate your preferences?"

"What? No, Sheldon, I just…I have some issues that I really need to work out."

"I understand that, and I am trying to help you with those issues. Would it help if I did not make that face again?"

Penny shook her head before she even had time to consider his question.

"No, I really liked being looked at that way, it was just all too  _perfect._ Haven't you ever been afraid that something was just too good to be true?"

Sheldon eyed her before answering.

"You're afraid of a consistently functional relationship?"

Penny shrugged, not liking the way Sheldon phrased it. He made it sound like something was wrong with her, like she disliked having a relationship that made her happy.

"I'm just afraid that something bad will ruin it."

Sheldon eyed her once again, raising his dark eyebrows.

He was unsatisfactory at recognizing irony, but he even understood how ridiculous Penny's statement was. In order to ensure that nothing bad ruined her relationships, she ruined them herself. It was really no wonder why the woman hadn't finished community college.

"Very well." He agreed, his eyes still focused on her.

"Very well what?"

"I will make sure our relationship is imperfect, until you have resolved your aversion to functional relationships. Now that we have discussed this, you need to drive me to work."

Penny's eyebrows scrunched together as she stared back at him.

"Why can't Leonard drive you?"

"Leonard left an hour ago, when I came over here to discuss last night with you. Let's go, I'm already running late, and Dr. Gablehauser has been oddly interested in my work recently." Sheldon responded, walking towards the door, throwing an expectant glance over his shoulder as he did so.

Penny took a moment to think about it before rolling her eyes and following Sheldon out the door.

_Yep, perfectly imperfect,_ she thought to herself, unable to refrain from smiling as Sheldon began listing off facts about the history of automobiles.

* * *

"Hey guys, there's a lecture on biology at the university this Friday night, and Bernie really wants me to go with her. Any chance you guys could come along, you know, show her that I'm still a wild stallion who can't be tamed?" Howard questioned at lunch, glancing around the table.

"May I see the details of the lecture?" Sheldon questioned as Raj and Leonard both fumbled to make excuses.

Howard looked surprised, but handed Sheldon his phone, where he had downloaded the flyer Bernadette had sent him.

Sheldon glanced around the table after reading the piece of information he had been hoping for.

Amy Farrah Fowler would be a guest speaker at the lecture.

"I will go, Howard. Leonard, I recommend that you do the same."

Leonard's eyebrows furrowed, while Raj pouted.

"Why do I have to go? I don't even  _like_ biology. I'm a short, lactose intolerant guy with poor vision. Biology is the enemy in my book."

Sheldon glanced down at his food, trying to think of a logical reason that Leonard should attend the lecture. He could not say that he wished to introduce Leonard to Amy Farrah Fowler, but he believed the two meeting would benefit them both eventually.

"Come on, Leonard, he just had a huge fight with his girl. It's not like he can ask Penny to be his date. You should support your friend." Howard said, rushing to take advantage of the situation.

Leonard glared at Howard, but shrugged.

"Fine, I'll go, but Koothrappali has to come, too."

"Oh,  _now_ someone cares if I go?" Raj muttered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"Hey Shelly, got any plans for Friday night? My boss just gave me my schedule, and I thought that maybe we could go to the movies. We could get Red Vines, and maybe grab some dinner before or after."

Sheldon looked up from his computer, surprised to see Penny in his apartment.

She must have abused her privilege of holding the spare key to their apartment in order to enter, while he was distracted with equations that had been bothering him in 2013; a rare treat he indulged in when Leonard would be out of the apartment for a few hours.

"As a matter of fact, I do have plans. I am attending a biology lecture with Wolowitz, Koothrappali, and Leonard." He responded, nodding towards Penny before turning back to his work.

Penny's eyebrows furrowed as she stared at him indignantly.

"Can't you just blow off the lecture? It's not like you study biology."

Sheldon looked back at Penny in surprise.

"No, I will not blow off the lecture."

"Aw, come on, Sheldon, I would really like it if you could blow off the lecture." Penny crooned, leaning down to wrap her arms around Sheldon's neck, resting her chin on his shoulder.

He looked back at her in a combination of alarm and irritation.

"I will not blow off the lecture. Why don't you call up Bernadette and see what you gal pals can do while the men are off discovering how the world works?"

Penny immediately released Sheldon, straightening herself up as her eyes narrowed.

"You think that I'm too stupid to go to one of your science things with you?"

"I never said that."

"No, but you were thinking it!"

Sheldon sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"Do you really want to go to the lecture?"

"No, but that's not the point!"

"What is the point?"

"I don't know. You should want me there!"

"Why? You wouldn't enjoy the lecture. You would be unhappy the entire time, detracting from my enjoyment."

"Then why can't we do something we would both enjoy?"

"We can, just at another time. I will be attending the lecture." Sheldon asserted, closing his laptop and standing up, looking down at a furious Penny.

"You ass."

Penny turned around to storm off to her apartment.

Before she got out the door, she felt Sheldon's hand on her shoulder. She spun around, fully prepared to yell at Sheldon even more about how selfish he was being about the stupid lecture.

However, she was instantly silenced when she received that same look that had sent her running just days before.

"You did want imperfection, correct?" He reminded her softly, bending down to press his lips against her forehead gently.

He backed away, looking slightly puzzled by his own actions, before nodding and returning to his desk, opening his laptop once more.

Penny stood in the doorway, staring at the back of Sheldon's head, before grinning widely, and skipping back to her apartment.

* * *

"She's remarkable," Sheldon muttered as the guys watched Amy Farrah Fowler lecturing on the stage.

Leonard glanced over, mildly surprised at Sheldon's comment.

Yes, she was certainly very knowledgeable about her area of research, but it seemed that there was more to Sheldon's comment than that.

His bright eyes were fixated on her, watchfully following her every move. He would nod, if he agreed with a particular point that she made, but his eyes were still fixated on her.

Leonard looked back at Amy, searching for what Sheldon seemed to see in her.

She had a nice figure, though it was hidden behind her frumpy clothes, she had an intelligent look in her eyes, something her thick glasses couldn't hide, and she seemed genuinely passionate about her research. Leonard's mind couldn't help but wander, wondering if that passion carried over onto other aspects of her life.

A smile crackled across Leonard's face.

Sheldon had been smart enough to call dibs on Penny when he saw something in her, but now he was burdened with a girlfriend. Sheldon was currently in a fight with said girlfriend, but she was a ball and chain in this instance, all the same.  _Sheldon_ couldn't make a move on Amy, but  _Leonard_ could.

Leonard glanced at Sheldon, who seemed to be absorbed in Amy's presence, and leaned closer to him, causing the skittish physicist to edge closer to Raj, finally tearing his eyes off of Amy.

"Dibs." Leonard declared triumphantly, grinning from ear to ear.

Sheldon feigned a look of shock and disgust as Leonard turned back to face Amy, still smiling widely.

Once he was sure that Leonard wasn't paying attention, he smiled to himself.

He had learned that Leonard valued approval above all things. Leonard's mother had taught Sheldon that. By acting interested in Amy, Sheldon had insured Leonard's interest.

Sheldon was sure Amy would have no problem holding that interest.

"I'm going to meet her," Leonard announced as soon as the lectures had subsided.

Sheldon once again feigned surprise as he looked at Leonard, scrunching his eyebrows.

"What would she possibly want with  _you?_ Perhaps I should introduce myself to her. She and I appear to be on very similar intellectual grounds." Sheldon lied, beginning to stand up, looking around for Amy.

Leonard quickly jumped out of his seat, shaking his head vigorously.

"Oh, no, you got to call dibs on  _Penny,_ I definitely deserve her! Guys, watch him to make sure he doesn't get any ideas." Leonard insisted, nodding towards Howard and Raj, both of whom looked confused.

Before Sheldon could make any false protests, Leonard had scampered out of sight, eager to meet Amy.

* * *

"Oh, Leonard, you're all dressed up!" Penny stated, looking away from the TV screen to Leonard, who was already sweating through his dress shirt.

He tugged at the collar, glancing down at himself.

"Do you think she'll notice that I'm sweating?"

"No, the dark crescents under your arms conceal the sweat nicely." Sheldon responded, not looking away from the newest Star Trek movie.

Penny giggled as Leonard glowered at Sheldon.

"She makes me a little nervous. I mean, I've gone on dates before, but never with a woman like  _her_ ," Leonard muttered, trudging back to his room to change, or grab a jacket.

Sheldon snorted.

"Are you referring to the spy you had a previous romantic pairing with?"

Leonard glared at Sheldon as he emerged from his room once again, but quickly regained his smile.

Sheldon was just acting out because he was jealous, Leonard assured himself. He had gotten to Amy fair and square, and Sheldon just couldn't handle it.

"Goodbye, Sheldon." He smirked, shutting the door behind him.

Penny looked at Sheldon and smiled.

He was too focused on his stupid Star Trek movie to notice. She couldn't help but love how his eyebrows scrunched together, causing a little wrinkle at the top of his nose when he focused on things like that, things that were important to him. She loved that his eye twitched whenever he noticed a mistake. She loved that he would only break his concentration long enough to ask her if she was happy, whatever that meant.

Yes, there was nothing  _normal_ about Sheldon, but she liked it that way.

She liked that he challenged her. She liked that he wouldn't cater to her every whim. She liked that he could be one frustrating son of a bitch if he really set his mind to it.

Most of all, she liked that that arrogant ass was right. Everything was perfectly imperfect.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Penny smiled as she walked out of the boys' apartment the next morning.

This was nothing like the walk of shame that she was used to. This was better.

She had argued almost all night with Sheldon about her work schedule; he had insisted that she take off of work for laundry night, of all ridiculous things. He had forgone his bedtime to look through the relationship agreement, look up the Cheesecake Factory's hours, and formulate what he deemed an acceptable work schedule, one that revolved around his own schedule. In response, she had screamed at him, called him names, and swore profusely.

Eventually, they were too exhausted to continue, and instead began to laugh. Well, Penny laughed. Sheldon just kind of wheezed in response to her, while watching her with a weird smile on his face.

They had sat on the couch, Sheldon rambling about some experiment he was thinking about, while Penny sipped on wine. She had kissed him a few times, only to be met with a bewildered look, and then another lecture on something to do with physics.

Finally, she went to the bathroom, emerging to find that Sheldon had fallen asleep in his bed.

She had attempted to snuggle with him, only to be realized and shooed to the couch once he figured out she was there.

It was a minor point; she had napped with him for at least a few hours before he had noticed, and that night had been one of the best nights she had ever had.

She laid on her bed, grinning to herself.

Maybe she would call in later and ask off of work for Saturday night.

* * *

"I'm so glad the boys decided to set us all up for a girl's night out." Bernadette stated, looking at Amy and Penny, who were both smiling over tall glasses of wine at the table.

Both of the girls nodded, wide smiles across their faces.

"I know! I can't believe that Sheldon was the one who suggested it! He usually hates meeting new people, or the idea of anything changing at all!" Penny agreed, giggling.

Amy looked at Penny curiously.

"I am very curious about your boyfriend's behavior."

"Sweetie, we all are," Penny laughed, brushing off Amy's curious stare.

All of the girls giggled, before glancing over to the bar, at a group of guys who were looking their way.

* * *

"Sheldon, what are you doing? You're supposed to be covering Raj!" Howard yelled.

All of the guys were hunched over X-box controllers, staring at the TV with glazed-over eyes.

They had been playing video games for hours now, ever since the girls had gone out for the evening. The apartment had been filled with the scent of pizza, the sound of men screaming at each other and the glow of a television screen illuminating the dark room, showing the profiles of the focused gamers.

"Victory is mine!" Sheldon howled, standing up, still clutching his controller.

"Damn it, how do we keep falling for this? Howard, grab him!" Leonard exclaimed, tossing a pillow at Sheldon.

Raj groaned, tossing his controller on the coffee table.

"Sheldon, we're supposed to play as a team! You can't just keep taking the enchanted swords and completing the quest without us!" Howard growled, also tossing his controller aside.

Sheldon shrugged.

"Mutiny happens when the morale of a group is low."

Raj, Howard and Leonard groaned in unison, throwing their heads back in frustration.

Sheldon was insufferable.

"What's Penny going to say when she hears how much you cheat?" Howard teased, picking up his controller as they began another quest.

Sheldon's eyes narrowed as he turned to glare at Howard.

Leonard laughed.

"Take it easy on him Howard. He was up all night arguing with Penny last night. No wonder he begged us to get Amy and Bernadette to go out with her tonight; he's getting enough trouble from her as it is." He chuckled, glancing at Raj and Howard in amusement.

Sheldon felt himself redden as Raj and Howard turned to look at him curiously.

Sheldon couldn't explain to his friends why Penny asked for an imperfect, turbulent relationship, nor could he find the words to explain why he had enjoyed arguing with Penny until he collapsed on his bed. He couldn't describe to them why she had kissed him, or attempted to sleep on his bed afterwards, because he didn't know why himself.

Yet, he couldn't act as if the evening had been a punishment, as Leonard seemed to be insinuating it was.

"Yikes, what were you guys arguing about for so long? Did she touch your food?" Howard questioned, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smirk.

Sheldon glowered at all of the guys.

"My relationship with Penny is nothing for you to be concerned about, I assure you. However, if you must know, our argument last night was primarily due to our conflicting schedules."

"Hey, I feel you, Sheldon. I was glad when you suggested that the ladies hang out tonight. Sometimes men just need time to be men." Howard sympathized, glancing at Leonard and Raj, who rolled their eyes.

"Are you suggesting that I requested the women enjoy each other's company because I wished to be rid of Penny?"

"Well, yeah."

Sheldon shook his head, exasperated at the way Howard's mind operated.

"I asked for Amy and Bernadette to invite Penny out so they would all learn about each other, and would become friends, on their own terms. When surrounded by us, they are focused on intellectually stimulating conversations. When left alone, they will likely discuss fashion, and male actors they find aesthetically pleasing. I understand that is how women frequently bond."

Leonard peered over his glasses at Sheldon in surprise.

"You were trying to set Penny up on a play date? Why would you do that? Penny has plenty of friends and you hate people."

Sheldon shrugged.

"I do not care for Penny's current friends. They encourage her to engage in reckless and often ridiculous behavior. I believe women such as Bernadette and Amy Farrah Fowler will serve as better companions."

Leonard smirked at Sheldon.

"Are you sure you're not just trying to get closer to Amy, in case Penny gets sick of you?" He teased.

Sheldon glowered at Leonard.

"I respect your relationship with Amy, and I would appreciate the same amount of respect for my own." He growled.

Howard and Raj exchanged surprised grins.

Leonard/Sheldon show-downs were always amusing.

* * *

"Okay, now, be serious for a minute. What do you guys really think about Sheldon?" Penny questioned, grinning from ear to ear as she brandished her fifth, or maybe it was her sixth, glass of wine.

Bernadette and Amy exchanged shy glances.

"Oh, don't try to sugar coat it, just let me have it! My other friends sure have," Penny encouraged, looking from Bernadette to Amy eagerly.

Amy felt her face turning red as she spoke up.

"He is very handsome."

Penny giggled.

"Yeah, he is really cute for a nerd. Not the kind of guy I usually go for, but his eyes, yum."

Amy nodded, relieved that she had said the correct thing to Penny.

Penny had been intimidating her from the day they first met. She resembled one of the popular girls she had been teased by during school; she was beautiful, funny, and commanded attention from every male in the room at any given time.

She had only differed from the popular girls in one aspect: she had been nice to Amy. The second Leonard brought Amy into 4A, she had smiled that dazzling smile, rushed to greet her, and had done everything in her power to accommodate Amy, usually at the expense of Sheldon, or one of the other boys.

Penny had exhibited similar behavior around Bernadette, which assured Amy that the blonde was not simply teasing her.

Her behavior was baffling, but much appreciated.

Penny turned her green eyes to Bernadette, oblivious to Amy's focus.

"I think he's very nice, I like talking to him about both of our research. Howie doesn't really like him, but I think it's because Sheldon belittles him so often." She squeaked, looking between Penny and Amy nervously.

Bernadette knew that Sheldon could be a touchy subject. Penny had come home from a friend's party crying, because they had invited Kirk, in the hopes that Penny would break up with Sheldon and reunite with her former boyfriend.

Still, she did like Sheldon, even if Howie was upset with him some days. She liked Penny even better, and dreaded losing her as a friend.

"Yeah, I know Sheldon can be an ass when it comes to being smarter than everybody else. He's told me how smart he thinks both of you are, though. I doubt he would tell you that himself," Penny sighed, taking a deep sip of wine as Bernadette and Amy looked at each other in surprise.

"Um, Penny, why are you asking for our approval of Sheldon as your selected mate?" Amy finally questioned.

Penny shrugged, setting another empty glass of wine down on the table.

"His  _mother_ is visiting him, and he wants to introduce me to her. I haven't met a boyfriend's mom since high school and even then, I didn't exactly meet her fully clothed," She responded, giggling as Amy and Bernadette blushed.

"I'm sure Sheldon's mom will love you."

"Yes, she will surely understand that you and her son will have gifted offspring." Amy agreed.

Penny immediately choked on her wine.

"Whoa, whoa, Amy, we're nowhere near even  _thinking_ about the  _idea_ of having kids. We haven't even had sex!"

Amy's eyebrows furrowed.

"Isn't that the entire point of the mating process?"

"It's not the stone age, sweetie, sometimes people date just for fun. You can't tell me that you're thinking about having kids with Leonard, can you? You're just testing the waters, right? Just like me and Sheldon."

Amy's confused expression did not subside.

"No, I have considered the variables with Leonard. While his DNA is not quite the same caliber as Sheldon's, nor is mine the same golden-encrusted DNA as yours," Amy turned red as she nodded towards Penny, "he and I both have a high IQ, along with the basic components of a successful offspring."

"Amy! I didn't know that you and Leonard were that serious!" Penny exclaimed, her face paling.

Amy shrugged.

"I just don't want to waste my time with my biological clock ticking."

"Oh my god. Bernadette, please tell me that you're not thinking about kids."

Bernadette shook her head violently.

"Oh, no, no, I don't want kids for a  _long_ time. I'm still working on my degree! I want to at least establish myself in the science community."

Penny let out a sigh of relief.

Maybe Amy was ready for kids, but Penny was certainly a long,  _long_ ways away from thinking about children.

* * *

"So you're introducing Penny to your mom? Are you sure that's such a good idea, buddy?" Leonard asked Sheldon hesitantly, upon receiving the notice of a guest 72 hours in advance, just like the roommate agreement stipulated.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows at Leonard, recognizing that he was concerned.

It seemed wise to introduce Mary Cooper to Penny, before Penny introduced herself, as she had done with Leonard's mother in the alternate universe. His mother would undoubtedly like Penny; she enjoyed the company of far less intelligent people and Penny had a way of charming those she encountered with the greatest of ease.

"You don't think that's a prudent idea? My mother is an excellent judge of character. I know that she'll love Penny," Sheldon argued, hoping that Leonard would elaborate on his concern.

"Do you?" Leonard questioned before he could stop himself.

"Do I what, Leonard? You must learn to speak proper English. Honestly, you were  _raised_ in an English-speaking country. I've met immigrants with better grammar." Sheldon muttered, beginning to walk towards his room.

Talking to Leonard was useless. He couldn't articulate his thoughts properly; he could hardly articulate his formulas properly, without Sheldon having to correct his mistakes.

"Do you love Penny?" Leonard asked impatiently.

Sheldon froze in his tracks.

* * *

"Thanks for driving me home, Amy. I guess I was just having too much fun to count how many glasses of wine I had." Penny slurred, smiling at Amy widely as they walked up the stairs to Penny's apartment.

"Oh, it's no problem at all. Leonard requested that I stop by the apartment upon your return, anyway. Do you have the key to your apartment?" Amy questioned.

"Yeah, I think so, thanks. Leonard is really lucky to have you, Amy. You're probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met."

Amy felt her face redden.

"Thank you, Penny. I'm not used to such kind treatment from a popular girl."

Penny giggled, leaning against the door as she attempting to unlock it.

"Sweetie, I'm not as popular as you think."

Amy shook her head.

"I am not mistaken, Penny. You are beautiful and all of the boys always want you. Even Leonard stops and stares at you when you walk by, no matter what else is happening around him," Amy responded, looking back at the boys' apartment door for a moment before returning her gaze to Penny.

Penny frowned, shaking her head vigorously.

"No, Amy, he really likes you."

Amy sighed.

"Yes, he appreciates my intelligence, and he seems to be genuinely interested in things that I have to speak about. However, I do not look like a supermodel. You, on the other hand, could make a dead man rise from the grave."

"Sweetie, I think that's just the wine talking. I promise you, Leonard is crazy about you. He was freaking out when he was getting ready to go on your first date. Just be patient with him, he's not like the other guys."

Amy nodded.

"Will you be okay if I go to say goodnight to Leonard? I'm hoping for my very first kiss." She smiled slightly as Penny's eyes widened.

She couldn't believe that Amy hadn't been kissed yet. Penny had been kissed for the first time in  _junior high,_ when she was just twelve years old!

Realizing that Amy would be embarrassed at her bringing this up, she smiled, nodding her head.

"Go for it, girl!"

Amy grinned, nodding her head before turning and walking towards apartment 4B.

Penny smiled to herself as she stumbled into her own apartment, shutting the door to avoid any awkward moments with Amy and Leonard.

She was enjoying the nice buzz she got from wine, which would surely be followed by a hangover the next morning.

Her phone rang as she was contemplating taking off of work for her morning shift.

"Hello?" She answered, falling onto the couch clumsily.

"Hey, Penny?"

Penny immediately sat up.

"Rodger."

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Penny, this is my mother. Mom, this is Penny,"

"His girlfriend," Penny added brightly, instantly outstretching her arms to hug Mary Cooper.

"It's nice to meet you, darlin'. I never thought that I would see the day that my Shelly would find himself a little lady."

Penny smiled at Sheldon, who looked irritated at the entire situation.

"Yes, well, I suppose Penny is an exception to my general aversion for close relationships," he sighed in exasperation.

Both Penny and Mary grinned at Sheldon, while he looked at the other side of the room, clearly not enjoying the subject matter.

"I hope he's being a gentleman," Mary said, nodding towards Penny before sparing Sheldon a stern look.

Sheldon cleared his throat nervously as his face turned red.

Penny just laughed, nudging Sheldon's side with her shoulder.

"He's the nicest guy I've ever dated. You've raised him amazingly well." She assured Mary, not looking away from a scowling Sheldon Cooper.

"I'm happy to hear that. Shelly hasn't always been the friendliest little boy with other people."

Sheldon sighed, shaking his head.

"We are going to miss our lunch reservations."

Mary laughed, nodding her head.

"Alright, Shelly, where is it that you eat on Saturdays?" She questioned, knowing better than to question her neurotic son's eating rituals.

"Penny actually made the reservations. Where are we eating?" Sheldon questioned, fidgeting uncomfortably.

Penny had insisted on taking Sheldon and his mother to a restaurant that she knew of, much to Sheldon's dismay. They had argued about it for hours, until Penny had researched the place's health-code performances, each of the servers working and where the best location to sit was.

"It's a surprise." She reminded him, smiling as they walked out of the apartment.

Mary watched Sheldon argue with Penny and couldn't help but smile to herself.

Her little Shelly had found a girl who could stop him in his tracks and turn him right around. She was a pretty little thing; her smile was contagious and Sheldon sure couldn't take his eyes off of her. More than that, she seemed to be his polar opposite. She smiled while he scowled, she teased while he sighed, and she plunged right in while he tested the waters. She was exactly what he needed.

* * *

Penny squirmed as she ate lunch with Sheldon and his mother.

He wasn't suspicious, which was a good sign. She had only known Sheldon for a few months but she was positive that he remembered Rodger, the one-night-stand that Leonard and Howard often alluded to teasingly.

Then again, Sheldon was surprisingly good about keeping a poker face. He could have somehow found out about her phone call with Rodger, he  _was_  a genius, after all, and could have been waiting for his mom to go back to her hotel before starting a fight.

As she was staring down at the table in contemplation, she felt a pair of eyes boring into her.

She looked up and was met with Sheldon's piercing blue eyes.

Oh, crap. He definitely knew.

She stared back at him, trying her best to keep her face straight.

"Are you all right, Penny?" He questioned quietly.

His mom looked at her in alarm, searching for whatever might have been wrong, while Sheldon continued to gaze at Penny intently.

She blushed, shaking her head.

"Oh, no, I'm totally fine, don't even worry about me. I guess I just kind of zoned out. I need to work on getting sleep instead of researching new restaurants to take you to." She responded hastily, sparing Sheldon a teasing smile before attempting to dazzle Mary Cooper once again.

She had been a nervous wreck about meeting Sheldon's mom from the day he had mentioned her visit, and Rodger had gone and ruined  _everything_ by calling her. Now she would be spending the entire visit worrying about Sheldon finding out before she could tell him.

"Sweetheart, you have more energy than I do when it comes to dealing with Shelly, here. He used to drive me and his daddy crazy with all of his rules and necessary fixin' s."

Sheldon rolled his eyes.

"I hardly think having standards of what to ingest is unreasonable. I am a genius. I must have the proper nourishment."

Penny smiled, kissing the corner of his mouth as he scowled.

"I know, sweetie, you manage to bring that up at almost every meal we eat. Now, is your spaghetti going to kill you, or do you think it will power your big old brain up to snuff?" She teased, hoping that Sheldon would fall for her act.

Sure enough, he looked down at her with narrowed eyes, but shrugged in resignation, accepting the meal for what it was.

His mother had looked at him in surprise, before smiling.

"Enough about Shelly, Lord knows that we've talked about him enough for a lifetime. Tell me a little about yourself, Penny."

Penny swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep smiling.

There was definitely a lot she couldn't tell Sheldon's mom. She wasn't particularly proud of being a waitress working for minimum wage, she hadn't had the most ideal past, and she didn't have the fancy education that Sheldon had under his belt. What was she supposed to talk about?

"Um, I don't really like to talk about myself very much," she said, glancing at Sheldon for help.

Sheldon looked back at her blankly, obviously not understanding her silent request.

"Aw, bless your heart, Sheldon, you should learn some modesty from your girlfriend." His mother laughed, smiling at Sheldon widely.

Sheldon looked from his mother to Penny.

Penny sucked in a sharp breath, hoping that Sheldon wouldn't take this as an insult. When people tried to compare him to others, he generally broke down the person he was compared to until they looked like an un-evolved primate.

She was really hoping he wouldn't do the same to her. At least, not in front of his mother.

"Penny is very modest, but as I have told you before, mother, personalities and characteristics are not contagious, like the common cold. If they were, I would likely be a religious nut with no inclinations towards physics. My inclinations would be closer to hosting at Fuddruckers's." He mumbled, glancing at his mom reproachfully.

Penny's eyes widened at the thinly veiled insult geared at Sheldon's family.

Maybe it would have been better for him to just call her stupid in front of his mom.

To Penny's surprise, his mom just laughed.

"Now Shelly, you remember why your sister used to beat you up when she thought that I wasn't looking, don't you?"

Sheldon huffed, his eyes narrowing as he returned his attention to his spaghetti.

Penny smiled at Sheldon's mom, feeling a sense of relief washing over her.

Everything was going well, at least for now. Sheldon's mom seemed to like her, Sheldon wasn't throwing a temper tantrum over the new restaurant Penny had taken them to and he didn't seem to suspect a thing was wrong.

For now, that was enough.

* * *

"Hey Penny, are you okay? When you texted us and told us you had something urgent, I thought someone was hurt, or arrested!" Bernadette squeaked, looking at Penny, who was gulping down wine, anxiously.

"Yes, it was quite unexpected. I had to leave Leonard immediately. Is there something wrong regarding your relationship with Dr. Sheldon Cooper? I understand his mother was visiting today."

Penny shook her head.

"No, I loved his mom, she was adorable. Um, Amy, did Leonard ever tell you about a guy named Rodger?" Penny questioned, squeezing her eyes shut.

She hated to have to explain herself to Bernadette and Amy, but there was no way that her old friends would listen to the story objectively. They disliked Sheldon and made no secret of it.

Amy shook her head, looking puzzled.

"I think Howie mentioned a man named Rodger once. He was making fun of Sheldon. Is it someone that he doesn't get along with?" Bernadette questioned, racking her brain for any more information she had on the man Penny was talking about.

"Um, kind of…Rodger is sort of a guy that I slept with before I was dating Sheldon. Sheldon saw him leaving my apartment the next morning. The guys are kind of jerks and still talk about it in front of Sheldon."

"Okay, why do you want to discuss a man you previously had amorous activities with? Is Sheldon not meeting your needs?" Amy questioned, scanning Penny's face analytically.

Penny shook her head, feeling her face go red.

"No, no, Sheldon is great; he's…he's really great. Um, but it's just that, Rodger called last night, and apparently he's got a friend who's looking for people to be in his new movie about some English king. He thinks that I could play the role of one of the wives. It would be a  _huge_ break for me. The movie is going to be in theaters and the money would be  _amazing._ " She explained, staring down at her wine.

"That's great, Penny! Have you told Sheldon about the movie yet?" Bernadette questioned.

Penny shook her head.

"I don't know if I should even go to the audition. If I tell Sheldon, that means I'll have to tell him that I answered the phone when Rodger called and that we're still talking. And if I get the job, I'll have to go to England. I'm not sure how long I would be there and I know that Sheldon can't come with me."

"Oh." Bernadette exhaled, looking concerned.

"What are you more concerned with: Sheldon seeing Rodger as a viable mating rival, or being separated from Sheldon for a long period of time?" Amy questioned, clearly not understanding that Penny was too upset to humor her quirkiness.

Bernadette placed her hand on Amy's arm gently, attempting to redirect Penny's attention.

"Is the role a sure thing, or is it just another audition? Maybe you won't even get the role. Maybe you're blowing all of this out of proportion." She offered with a small smile.

Penny nodded, taking another long sip of wine.

"You're right, maybe this isn't anything. Do you think I should go to the audition? I mean, it's a  _huge_ opportunity for me, but it's  _Rodger._ "

Bernadette shrugged.

"Maybe, I don't know,"

"I think you should do it. Financially speaking, it would be prudent for you to establish yourself among a variety of directors, even if you don't get this particular role. Common sense-wise, you would play the role of a Queen to perfection." Amy interjected.

Penny stared at Amy for a minute before smiling and nodding her head.

"Yeah, you're right. It wouldn't hurt to get my name out a little bit more. Besides, it's not like I'm going to  _sleep_ with Rodger, I'm just letting him introduce me to someone. That's not so wrong, is it?" Penny questioned, looking from Bernadette to Amy anxiously.

Both women shrugged, not wanting to answer her question.

Penny nodded to herself again, taking a long sip of wine.

* * *

"Morning, sweetie," Penny chirped as she met Sheldon, followed by Leonard, in the stairwell.

Sheldon looked at her in surprise.

"Good morning, Penny. Leonard and I are on our way to work. I was under the impression that you were also working morning shifts this week." He responded.

Penny nodded, swallowing hard.

"Yeah, I, um, I have an audition today, so I took off of work for the day."

Sheldon nodded, surveying Penny's face.

She looked guilty, but then again, that was reasonable given the circumstances. She was requesting off of work for an audition for a part she would likely be passed up on, while she continued to refuse to take off of work for laundry night.

_Women._

"Very well, I will see you this evening, once Leonard and I return from work. I trust you'll be over for pizza night?"

"I sure hope so," She replied, smiling slightly as they walked out the door of the lobby.

"Alright, then. Good luck on your audition. Try not to sing. Otherwise you will certainly be rejected" He advised, following Leonard towards his car.

Penny stuck her tongue out teasingly.

"Try not to be an ass at work. You might get fired." She countered, grinning as she approached her own car.

Sheldon rolled his eyes, ducking into the passenger's side of Leonard's car.

"Maybe you shouldn't criticize Penny as much as you do. You're already lucky enough to have her as it is. You shouldn't push your luck." Leonard advised him, peering over his glasses at Sheldon.

Sheldon looked back at Leonard with a combination of curiosity and indignant exasperation.

"I believe that I am more knowledgeable about my relationship with Penny. I appreciate your concern, but it is unnecessary." Sheldon responded coolly.

Leonard always felt obligated to stick his nose in Sheldon's relationship with Penny, something that was growing increasingly frustrating. He had his own relationship to worry about; he should have been more concerned about how to please Amy instead of worrying about what Sheldon was doing wrong.

"Whatever you say, buddy. I'm just trying to look out for you."

Sheldon gazed at the road ahead, not bothering to respond to Leonard's ridiculous statement.

* * *

"Where's Penny? I was looking forward to asking her about what to wear for a job interview." Bernadette commented, glancing around the guys' apartment as they sat on the couch, large pizza boxes resting on the coffee table in front of them.

"I believe she's at an audition." Sheldon responded automatically.

"Oh, you mean the audition for the movie about King Henry VIII? She was so excited about it last night, I hope she gets it." Bernadette said, sharing a meaningful look with Amy, who nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I can't think of anyone more fitting to play royalty than Penny. She oozes beauty out of her pores."

Howard, Raj, and Leonard raised their eyebrows, exchanging curious looks at Amy's comment, while Sheldon remained unaffected.

He had heard Amy making similar comments for years; it was nothing new to his ears.

"Wow, Penny's doing a history movie? She didn't really tell us much about the audition when she was headed out this morning. Do you know what role she's up for?" Leonard questioned, grinning at Amy widely.

"Yes, she is auditioning for the role of Jane Seymour. It is the most fitting role for Penny, in my opinion."

"Ah, the only Queen Henry ever really loved," Raj sighed, gripping a bottle of beer tightly in his hands.

"More like the only one who was lucky enough to die before he found a reason to stop." Howard snickered.

Raj glowered.

"Their love story was beautiful. Why are you ruining it for me?"

Howard shrugged.

"If I didn't ruin it, Penny's fake British accent will do the trick for you."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed as he turned his attention on Wolowitz.

Before he could come up with a scathing comment that Howard's lower IQ would comprehend, Bernadette simply swatted him, chastising him for not supporting Penny.

"You'd better watch it, Howard, or you'll find out how Sheldon got the TV from Kurt." Leonard teased.

Raj and Howard both laughed, while Sheldon continued to glower at them.

"I believe Penny will do very well at her audition. While her accent could use work, she is certainly aesthetically pleasing enough to serve as the beautiful Jane Seymour." He growled.

Amy and Bernadette both stared at their boyfriends sternly, silently warning them against arguing with Sheldon.

Sheldon turned his attention to Bernadette immediately.

"Was Penny very excited about the audition?" He questioned, focusing on her.

Bernadette squirmed under Sheldon's intense gaze.

"Well, yeah, she said it could be the big break she has been waiting for. I really hope she gets this one. It would make her so happy."

"Happy." Sheldon echoed to himself, nodding as he stared down at the floor.

Leonard, Howard, and Raj all exchanged curious looks, but decided against commenting on Sheldon's behavior.

* * *

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

_Knock knock knock._ "Penny."

"Hey Shellybean," the blonde answered, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hello, Penny. How was your audition?" Sheldon questioned curiously, walking into Penny's apartment, and perching on his spot.

He gazed at her intently, waiting for an answer.

Penny raised her eyebrows at him in surprise.

Sheldon  _never_ asked her about her acting. He was an arrogant physicist. He considered his work more important than those who were simply telling a story that had already been told. He wasn't _wrong,_ as much as she hated to admit it to herself, but he didn't have to be such an  _ass_ about it.

_Maybe Leonard finally talked to him about playing nice with others,_ Penny thought with a smile, opening her mouth to answer Sheldon's odd question.

_Or maybe he knows that Rodger helped me get the audition,_ she reminded herself, her stomach sinking at the thought.

She decided to play it cool until Sheldon accused her of anything.

"I think it went really well, actually. I'm really excited to hear if I got it or not."

Sheldon nodded, staring at the floor with an intense gaze she didn't quite understand.

"You would be happy if you got the role?"

"Um, of course, are you kidding? I would be in a  _movie,_ Sheldon! It's what I've dreamt of since I was ten years old! And to get to play a  _queen_!"

She sighed happily, sinking into the couch as she grinned up at the ceiling.

"Who is directing the movie?"

"Uh, I think it's someone like…Demetri Lewis…" She murmured, waving her ignorance off.

The director's name hardly mattered to her, when so much else was at stake. She had the chance to play a real Queen on the movie screen. There was a chance that people would  _pay_ to watch her help tell a story.

Nothing could be more important than that.

"Demetri Louis, pronounced like the French king. I know his work. He has directed many history-based films. Many of them are riddled with inaccuracies."

"Oh, don't be such a kill-joy, I'm happy." Penny scolded, swatting Sheldon's lanky arm.

He scowled at her.

"I was unaware that pointing out Louis' flaws detracted from your happiness."

"Well, it does. If I get the part, he'll be my director, and  _god, I want the part._ You'll just have to learn to be nice about all of the flaws."

"Very well. I'm sure you will get the part, if it would make you happy. Goodnight, Penny."

"Night, Sheldon." Penny sighed, still grinning.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, Sheldon stepped out of the taxi that he resented having to call, and looked up at the building before him.

He sighed before entering the building, sinking his hands into his pockets as he did so.

"Hello," the receptionist greeted him automatically.

"Hello, I wish to speak to Demetri Louis and the producers of the movie he is setting up. Could you point me in their direction?" Sheldon questioned.

"I'm sorry, what is your name?"

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

The receptionist typed his name into her computer, eying him curiously.

He sure wasn't dressed like someone the producers would need to speak to. Maybe he was an actor.

She frowned when his name did not come up in her data base. Like she had assumed, he was not someone the producers needed to speak with.

"I'm sorry sir. We don't have your name in our database. You'll have to schedule an appointment, if the producers wish to meet with you."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed.

"My time is very valuable. I must meet with the director and the producers immediately. I am aware that my name is not in the database, as I was sure an incompetent secretary would not see the appointment through," he took a moment to stare at her icily, "however, this is very important. I wish to invest in the movie."

The receptionist rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well, just call and make an appointment next time you want to do so. I'm sure I can handle setting up an appointment."

Sheldon's glare got increasingly cold as he reached into his messenger bag, producing two neat stacks of bills.

"This is approximately five million dollars. I wish to invest it in the movie. If you do not direct me to the director and producers, I will find their numbers, call them myself, and let them know that a lowly secretary almost cost them five million dollars. Do I make myself clear?" Sheldon growled.

The receptionist's face paled as she reached for the phone.

* * *

Sheldon was gazing at his updated whiteboard in his office when his door flew open.

He jumped in front of his whiteboard instinctively, protecting formulas that were years ahead of their time.

"Dr. Cooper, the university is funding a research project. The recipient of the expenses-paid trip is a scientist of my choosing." Dr. Gablehauser announced, strolling into the office and glancing around casually.

"Very well. Allow me to think about it." Sheldon nodded, turning his back to the university present in order to focus on more important work.

Dr. Gablehauser gawked before clearing his throat, annoyed at Dr. Cooper's presumptuous attitude.

"You are assuming that I was going to select you."

"Why else would you be discussing the subject matter with me, in my office?"

"Perhaps I was asking you to accompany another scientist."

Sheldon snorted, not looking away from his work.

"Pray tell, who is the more accomplished scientist at this university? Dr. Gablehauser, might I remind you, I have been published in prestigious scientific journals five times within the past three months. That's more than most of those in the entire department are featured in such journals. Now, are you going to present me with the details?"

Dr. Gablehauser glowered at Sheldon's back.

He mentally counted down from ten, reminding himself that the egotistical bastard was still the main attraction for the university's physics department. He was producing work at a tremendous rate, finding solutions to formulas that had not even been discovered.

Scholarly journals were clamoring for information from the esteemed physicist, and were chomping at the bit for more ground-breaking discoveries. Allowing Sheldon to expand his research would not only satisfy the demand of the journals and donors alike, but it would also get the bastard out of the office for a few months.

"Alright, Dr. Cooper, I will forward the information to your email account. Please get back to me with your answer by the end of the month."

Sheldon nodded, still not turning around from his work.

Dr. Gablehauser gritted his teeth as he walked out of the office, muttering his farewell as he did so.

Sheldon finally turned around once he was sure that Dr. Gablehauser had left.

He had been turned to ensure that the president of the university would not see his whiteboard. While Dr. Gablehauser was not as intelligent as he liked people to believe, Sheldon was sure that he would recognize the formula as a new one, something that could lead to a more promising study of string theory.

Sheldon capped his whiteboard maker as he leaned against the edge of his desk, staring ahead of him at nothing in particular, lost in thought.

He was being offered an all-expenses paid research opportunity, something that he would not have turned down back in the alternate universe.

However, he now had Penny to factor into things.

The entire point of the new universe he had created for himself was to make Penny happy, while still possessing her as his romantic partner.

Leonard had gone on the three-month trip to research string theory in the alternate universe, but he had not been in an established relationship with Penny at the time. She had slept with men in his absence and had seemed disappointed when he left her for longer than a week afterwards.

Penny was more challenging than he could have imagined in 2013.

* * *

"What? No way! I got the part? Thank you so much! You won't regret this!" Penny squealed into her cell phone, jumping up and down on her couch.

She listened to the voice on the other end of the phone, no longer jumping.

"Oh, yeah, Rodger mentioned that to me. Do you know how long I would be there?"

She sat down on the couch, her eyebrows scrunching together as she stared down at the calendar in front of her.

"Right, no, um, that's okay, I'll make it work."

She continued to stare at her calendar, tears welling up in her eyes as she nodded to the voice over the phone.

"Yeah, I can start then. Um, thank you for the opportunity. Uh-huh, thanks, you too," she whispered, her voice growing hoarse as she hung up.

As she tossed her phone aside, she sank her face into her hands, sniffling miserably.

She glanced at her phone after a few minutes of crying. She would have to tell him sooner or later.

Penny dialed Sheldon's number, then hesitated.

Sighing, she placed the phone down on the coffee table next to the calendar.

She got up, threw on a light jacket, picked her keys up off of the floor, and headed out of the door.

* * *

Sheldon's eyes were lighting up as he made progress on a formula that had been giving him trouble.

He would have enough work stockpiled by the end of the month to last him for the rest of his life. At his current rate of progress, not only would other scientists become suspicious, but would become even more well-recognized. This would threaten to disturb his current way of life; people on the streets would feel entitled to speak with him about physics, he would be asked to participate in high-publicity research projects, and worst of all, he would become similar to Albert Einstein or Hawking in the eyes of the lesser minds of society. He could already see the fake quotes they would put over pictures of him.

He tapped the end of his pen against the side of his head thoughtfully.

The world deserved the knowledge, but not at the cost of forsaking his schedule.

As he stared at his whiteboard, a shadow entered his peripheral vision, causing him to jump.

"Oh, sorry sweetie, I knocked, but I...well, hi." Penny stammered, sparing Sheldon a sheepish smile as he turned to look at her.

His eyebrows furrowed as he waited for her to explain her presence.

"Um...I got the part in that movie I auditioned for the other day." She finally said, not meeting his eyes.

Sheldon set his pen down, nodding.

"That's a good thing, you want to be a part of the film, do you not?"

Penny nodded.

"Yeah, it's such an amazing opportunity."

"Great. Now Penny, I know that you have become familiar with me, and I appreciate your efforts to return to educational facilities, but this is  _my office._  My office is where I work. My apartment is for idle socializing." Sheldon muttered, his eyes flicking back to his work.

He felt a sense of relief that he had managed to bribe the producers into giving Penny the part. She had wanted the part, and now she had it. He had once more facilitated her happiness. Still, he did not know what she expected him to say under the circumstances.

Penny sighed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she prepared to deal with Sheldon.

"Sheldon, they want me to go to England for five months to film my part of the movie. They want me to be there in a week."

Sheldon tore his eyes away from the formulas, focusing on Penny once again.

His eyes scanned her face, waiting for her to continue speaking.

"I mean, I can't turn down a part like this, it could be the big break that I've always been dreaming of. The money is amazing, and I'm still at that age where I want to explore new things and discover..."

Sheldon nodded, immediately standing up and approaching his whiteboard.

He understood the point that Penny was attempting to make. Directing his attention to the formula, something he understood, seemed to be an adequate defense mechanism.

"Very well. If it would make you happy, you should go. Prior to your departure, I request that you find someone suitable to serve my Tuesday burgers at the Cheesecake Factory."

"Wait, you...you're just asking me to find someone else to serve you burgers?"

"My meals are very important to me."

Penny stared at his back for a moment before exiting his office, slamming the door behind her.

Sheldon exhaled heavily, once again sitting on the edge of his desk as he stared at the whiteboard.

* * *

"Sheldon, we're going to take Penny to the airport, hurry up!" Leonard hollered, glancing down at his cell phone.

Everybody was waiting in the lobby of Los Robles. They had all helped Penny pack her things into Leonard and Howard's trunks, aside from Sheldon.

"I'm not going." Sheldon snapped, emerging from his room to glare at Leonard.

Leonard folded his arms across his chest, sighing.

"Damn it Sheldon, we talked about this. Penny is your girlfriend, and she's leaving to do something that's important to her. You already made her cry when you asked her to find another waitress to serve you your hamburger, you need to make up for it."

"I do not believe that she can be classified as my girlfriend anymore. She ripped her copy of the roommate agreement in half, put it on my desk, and turned our apartment flag upside down."

Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Then give her the opportunity to properly break up with you. She deserves  _that_ much. Now, come on, I'm not going to let you wallow in the apartment just because Penny is doing something with her life."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed.

"I am not unhappy about Penny's success."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, buddy."

Sheldon opened his mouth for an argument, but flinched away as Leonard reached to grab his arm.

He found himself being chased out of the apartment by the threat of physical contact.

Sheldon sighed, smoothing out his Flash T-shirt before walking down the stairs to join the group.

Everyone fell silent upon his return, looking between him and Penny cautiously.

Sheldon nodded towards them before shooting Leonard a scowl.

* * *

Once they got to the airport, everyone, save Sheldon, had said their tearful goodbyes to Penny.

"Alright guys, let's give them some space. Uh...Sheldon, why don't you just meet us in the car?" Leonard suggested, glancing at the rest of the group lumbering around Penny.

"No way dude, you guys are just going to make out in your cars while I pretend to be texting," Raj whined, taking another sip of the cocktail he had taken from the airport's bar.

"Then actually text Stuart. Come on," Howard muttered through clinched teeth, grabbing Raj by the elbow as they began to walk away.

Penny watched her friends depart, and turned to face Sheldon with a sigh.

"Sheldon..."

He raised his eyebrows at her, unsure of how to approach the social situation at hand.

"Look, I really don't want things to end badly between us. I'm only going to be gone for a few months, and I'll still have my phone, and video chat...we could talk every day if we wanted to! I could call you when you get home from work..."

"There is an eight hour time difference between London, England, and San Francisco, California." He reminded her.

Penny rolled her eyes, but tried to smile again.

"I'm just saying, I think we could make it work. I talked to Bernadette and Amy, and if you can't tell me that you want me to stay, or that you'll miss me, that's okay, that's something I can help you work through, even. I just need to know that you're still all in."

"Hey, Penny, are you all packed up? The producers are looking forward to meeting the girl I haven't stopped telling them about. Oh, hi there, are you Penny's driver? Here you go, big guy." A tall, handsome man interrupted, nodding towards Sheldon before extending a $20 bill in his direction.

Sheldon looked down at the bill blankly, before returning his gaze to the man's face.

His eidetic memory allowed him to recognize the man. Penny had slept with this man. He had been her rebound from Kurt. He had been "nothing", according to Penny.

Yet, there he was, speaking to Penny about a movie that only those involved knew about.

Penny's 'big break' hadn't been as serendipitously lucky as everyone seemed to think, after all.

He returned his gaze to Penny one last time. Her guilt-riddled face confirmed the logical explanation his mind had created.

"Goodbye, Penny." He murmured, glancing at the man's face one last time before turning around, and walking towards the parking lot.

* * *

Sheldon cell phone was pressed against his ear as he curled up on his bed, staring at the life-sized cardboard cut-out of Spock he had purchased earlier in the month.

"Dr. Gablehauser speaking."

"Yes, Dr. Gablehauser, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper calling. I would like to discuss the research opportunity you mentioned earlier."

"Alright, where would you like to conduct your research?"

"The North Pole."

"That's pretty far away, Dr. Cooper."

"That's the point, Dr. Gablehauser."

 


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey Sheldon, can I ask you a question?" Raj questioned, tearing his eyes away from the plane window.

"You may ask me  _another_ question, yes."

"Why didn't you ask Howard and Leonard to help with your experiment? I think you really hurt their feelings."

Sheldon sighed, shaking his head in exasperation.

"Leonard and Wolowitz are engaged in romantic pairings. If I were to ask them to accompany me to the North Pole for a minimum of three months, they would undoubtedly be eager to return home and their work would certainly suffer because of it. Therefore, I decided it was prudent to allow them to remain in Pasadena with their significant others, for the sake of my experiment."

"So you didn't invite them because they had girlfriends?"

"I did not invite them because I didn't want my experiment to suffer due to their constant need for affection."

Raj nodded to himself.

"That's actually really considerate of you, Sheldon."

Sheldon simply shrugged.

"So while we're on the subject of romantic pairings and this trip, why are we going to the North Pole?"

"Dr. Gablehauser offered me a research opportunity, and the North Pole seemed like a wise decision in terms of researching the possibility of String Theory."

"Right, but we were all wondering if it didn't have something to do with Penny."

Sheldon clenched his jaw, but glanced at Raj through narrowed eyes, trying to remain as calm as he could manage.

"What does Penny have to do with proving String Theory? While she  _is_ a component of the universe, she is largely uninvolved in understanding the universe."

"Dude, are you going to the North Pole because you and Penny broke up?"

Sheldon's eye began to twitch.

"I want to prove String Theory."

Raj sighed, rubbing his temples.

Glancing back to make sure the graduate students and other esteemed physicists were out of earshot, and occupied with other conversations on the flight, Raj leaned closer to Sheldon.

"Why did you time travel?"

Sheldon looked around wildly before glowering at Raj.

"We are not discussing that subject in mixed company. If you would like to ask me a question once we are in a private setting, I would be happy to listen to your inquiries at that time. Until then, I would appreciate it if you would allow me to enjoy my movie." He growled, turning his attention back to the TV monitor in front of his seat.

Raj sighed, leaning back in his seat.

* * *

Penny looked around the movie set with wide eyes, unable to believe her own luck.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my third wife." She heard a man's voice say in a heavily English accent, followed by a throaty chuckle.

She whipped around, and was surprised to see a man dressed up in clothes that must have been from the medieval times. Or maybe it was the dark ages. Oh hell, she had never paid attention in history class, she couldn't have told anyone on set what year the clothes were from.

"Oh, um, hi, I'm Penny. I guess you're playing the king?" She questioned, attempting to smile as she felt her face go red.

He was attractive. Like,  _really_ attractive. She could feel her mouth go dry as he chuckled again, his bright green eyes watching her carefully as she fidgeted.

If all of the men on set looked anything like he did, she was in trouble.

"You would guess right. I'm Nathan. I believe that we'll be working very closely starting in a few weeks."

Penny nodded.

"Great, I look forward to working with you. Just don't tell Nattie, my girlfriend, that. She's playing Anne Boleyn, and she's dreading the execution scene that will occur shortly after your arrival to court. You'll probably meet her sometime this week."

Penny nodded again, forcing herself to smile back at him stupidly.

"I should probably get back to makeup...they want to make some alterations to the wound on my leg. Henry had a nasty gash, I don't know how he lived with it." Nathan said, grinning at Penny before wandering off.

Penny sighed, sitting down on one of the folding chairs lying around off camera.

She still couldn't believe that she was sitting on an actual  _movie_  set in  _England._  She was getting paid to work with men who didn't look like they were real, and pretend that she was a queen. The only thing that could have made the situation better would have been if Sheldon was there.

She exhaled heavily at the thought of Sheldon.

She had been trying to keep him out of her mind since she sat down for her flight; his interaction with Rodger had undoubtedly ruined any chances she had left with him, but she couldn't help wishing that he was there with her, being impossible and pointing out everything that was wrong with the script.

_Maybe I'll video chat the guys when I'm done here today. Maybe Sheldon will be there, and maybe he'll want to work things out,_ Penny thought to herself, staring down at the ground as she tried to imagine just what she would say to Sheldon.

Perhaps she would start off apologizing about Rodger, so that he could at least think about forgiving her. Then again, maybe if she pretended that she didn't know why he was upset about Rodger, he would realize that nothing was going on between them.

She groaned, sinking her head into her hands in frustration.

"Don't tell me you're already distraught over Nathan. Or have you met Tom yet?" She heard a man's voice question, along with the sound of a folding chair scooting across the hard floor.

She looked up, surprised to see a middle-aged man that she recognized all too well.

"Oh my god! You're that guy that's in all of the romance movies! Oh my god, I'm making a horrible first impression on everyone. Okay, I  _might_ be one of your creepy fans, is that okay?" She questioned, her eyes lighting up as she smiled at the man shyly.

The corner of his mouth crooked into a smile as his eyes stared back at her warmly. He was obviously used to this kind of treatment.

"I'm always happy to hear that someone appreciates my work. You must be Penny, the American we've all heard so much about. I'm John," The man said, not seeming bothered by Penny's red face or wide grin.

"It's so amazing to meet you! Um, am I the only American here? What have you heard about me?" She questioned anxiously.

John chuckled, placing his hand lightly on her arm.

"We've heard nothing but good things about you, there's no need to worry. As a matter of fact, the young men around here were very excited to hear about your arrival. I believe you may be the only American, but that's just a testament to your acting abilities. Don't worry, the producers shipped you over here early so you would learn how to behave like a proper British queen by the time they beheaded our dear Anne Boleyn."

Penny smiled back at him gratefully, still blushing slightly as he removed his hand from her arm.

She had watched John Evans in romance movies since she was a teenager. Of course, now he was  _certainly_ too old for her, but she couldn't tell that to her hammering heart. She would have to remember to take a picture with him and send it to all of her friends back in Nebraska so they could eat their hearts out. Maybe she would send a picture to Amy and Bernadette too, if they promised not to show Sheldon.

"I think I'm going to have some trouble learning how to be a proper British lady. I was raised to be kind of a tom-boy."

"Then we'll just have to take it upon ourselves to teach you, won't we? Why don't you come to my house for dinner tomorrow evening? I have a feeling my wife, Beth, will enjoy meeting the newest addition to our cast. She's more social than I am, that's for sure. I'm sure she'll enjoy teaching you how to be a proper lady, as well. She has always fancied herself as self-proclaimed royalty. Don't mention Cinderella anywhere near her."

Penny's mouth went dry again.

"Um...yeah, that would be great! Uh, where do you live? I mean, not in a creepy way, but...um..."

John chuckled, taking a piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Here, I'll write it down for you. Just be careful not to tell the entire cast. Last weekend I invited a large majority of them to dinner. I'm not sure my wife has recovered yet."

"Um, yeah, thanks," Penny choked out, her hands trembling as she accepted the address.

"You're very welcome, Penny." He smiled.

John stood up, smoothing his shirt as he did so, nodded to Penny, and walked off in the same direction that Nathan had walked towards earlier.

Once he was out of her line of vision, Penny sank into her chair, grinning from ear to ear.

Yes, the next five months were  _definitely_ going to be amazing.

* * *

"Alright Sheldon, we're alone, now will you please tell me why you time traveled to when you did? Did you know everything was going to end up like this?" Raj demanded once he and Sheldon were alone in the tiny lab that stood next to the cabin they were given in the North Pole.

Sheldon squirmed, shaking his head.

"No, I had already altered everything to the point where I did not know what would happen next. This certainly was not my plan."

"What was your plan?"

Sheldon glowered at Raj.

"I wanted to make Penny happy."

"What?"

"In the universe where I originated, Penny was very unhappy. She was dating Leonard, who was not suitable for her and she had worked at the Cheesecake Factory for years without any success in her acting profession. She was financially unstable and resorted to drinking heavily in order to cope with her current situation. Therefore, I worked out a way to create a universe that's sole purpose was the happiness of Penny."

"Dude, that's so beautiful! Did you tell her that?"

Sheldon snorted.

"Of course not, are you aware of Penny's commitment problems? It was difficult enough to get her to sign and abide by the relationship agreement I created. Telling her that the sole purpose for my existence in this universe was to ensure her happiness would be a sure-fire way to lose her. Not to mention it would cause her a great deal of guilt, which could turn into unhappiness, from what I learned in the previous universe."

"Didn't you already lose her, though? This might be your way to get her back. I'm sure she would leave the set of that movie if you just told her."

"I don't want her to leave the movie. I paid five million dollars for her to get that role. I know that this impending success will make her happy, and as I have already stated, her happiness is my primary interest."

Raj's mouth fell open as he gaped at Sheldon in surprise.

He hadn't thought that Sheldon was capable of understanding the concept of empathy and yet, here he was discussing in-depth how much thought he put into Penny's happiness.

"Wait, five million dollars? Dude! What about your own happiness? You're freezing in the middle of nowhere while Penny is in England surrounded by handsome actors."

Sheldon swallowed, his jaw clenching slightly at the memory of Rodger standing by Penny's side.

"Penny's happiness is my primary concern. I cannot be happy when she is unhappy and, therefore, I must endure whatever is thrown at me, in exchange for her consistent happiness."

"Sheldon, you really love her, don't you?" Raj questioned, having a difficult time comprehending the feelings Sheldon was expressing.

Sheldon showing the amount of devotion and care that he was, was completely out of character for the conceited physicist. It would make sense if he said that he wanted to be away from Penny in order to have time to prove String Theory (something he would undoubtedly do, judging from the rate of progress he had been making over the past few months), but for  _Sheldon Cooper_ to value someone's happiness over his own - well, that was just unheard of.

Sheldon's eye began to twitch as he looked away from Raj.

"I care deeply about Penny, yes."

Raj nodded, glancing around the lab awkwardly.

"Well, thanks for sharing your story with me, buddy. Maybe she'll be waiting at home for you when we get back." Raj suggested as they walked towards the door, bracing themselves for the biting cold that was sure to greet them.

Sheldon shrugged, not bothering to respond with a sentiment of false hope.

At least Penny was happy.

* * *

"Guys, Penny is video chatting us!" Leonard announced, rushing his laptop over to the leather sofa, where Amy and Bernadette were watching Say Yes to the Dress, while Howard ate take out food and criticized each of the women.

"Oh, good, put her on, I want to hear about how the movie is going! You know, I heard that some of her co-stars are really cute," Bernadette giggled, leaning closer towards the laptop screen as it loaded.

Howard looked at Bernadette in surprise as Penny's picture showed up on the screen.

"Hey guys!" Penny chirped, smiling widely.

"Hey Penny, how's your movie going? Tell us  _everything_!" Bernadette squeaked eagerly.

"Yes, please give us descriptions of the attractive men you are working with." Amy agreed, causing Leonard to glance at her in concern, matching Howard's alarmed expression.

"Oh my god, the guy that plays the king is  _unbelievable._ He looks like the Ken doll my dog chewed the head off of when I was eight. Y'know, before the dog got to it. And you'll never guess who invited me to have dinner with him and his wife tomorrow... _John Evans!_ " Penny squealed, grinning as Amy and Bernadette's faces lit up.

"Who's that?" Howard asked Leonard quietly.

Leonard shrugged, continuing to stare at Amy with a mixture of curiosity, amusement and concern.

"I am very jealous of you, he is incredibly handsome." Amy consented, nodding as Penny giggled.

"I know, it's so great here. The costumes are really cool, too. I think they really went for historical accuracy here, not that I would really know much about it. Where's Sheldon, by the way? I was kind of expecting him to tell me exactly what was wrong with the casting choices."

Everyone in 4A looked at each other nervously before Leonard finally spoke up.

"Uh...he and Raj are at the North Pole."

"What? What are they doing at the North Pole?"

"We don't really know...Sheldon just started packing his bags after you left, and asked Raj if he wanted to go to the North Pole for some research thing."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure it's important, then. I hope he finds whatever it is he's looking for up there." Penny whispered, biting her lip as she fought back tears.

"We all do." Leonard sighed.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Penny held her breath as she walked onto the set for her second day of observing how everything worked.

She hadn't met the full cast yet, so she would undoubtedly make an ass of herself at least five more times throughout the day, but she couldn't help but look forward to it. She was surrounded by _serious_ actors, and was getting paid for it! It was like she was in a dream, and she did not want to be woken up.

As she glanced around the set, she saw  _him._

He had brown hair that was short enough that only a slight cowlick was visible, but looked thick enough that she was tempted to run her fingers through it.

His dark brown hair was contrasted by bright blue eyes and a bright smile that seemed to pierce through the distance between himself and Penny.

He was perfect.

The man noticed Penny staring at him, grinned once again, and sauntered her way, throwing a glance over his shoulder at whoever it was he had been talking to previously.

"Hi," he said easily as he reached her, still grinning.

"Hi," Penny sighed, attempting to smile, but failing miserably in the process.

"I'm Tom, and you're our new American co-star, Penny. Nathan was already talking about you. Though now I understood why he wouldn't tell me about your appearance. He would be in a lot of trouble with his girlfriend if he were to give a description that would do your beauty proper justice." The man said, his eyes flicking over her figure casually.

Penny could feel her knees growing weaker and weaker as the seconds went by, but couldn't bring herself to care too much about the prospect of falling down. Maybe this tall, dark and handsome guy would be there to catch her.

"Yeah, I'm...um...what you said."

"Penny." He answered for her, looking thoroughly amused as she blushed deeply.

"Yeah, that."

He nodded, chuckling.

"Right, so, how does it feel to be the next Queen of England? Soon enough you'll be able to throw insults at us and hey, you could even make us bow to you, if you wanted to. Hopefully you'll be a better Queen than Nattie is. She's going to have John killed soon. Poor bastard just won't say that Henry is the head of the church. She already brought down Wolsey earlier; she's lethal." Tom said in amusement, nodding towards where John was speaking to a dark-haired man.

Penny's heart sank.

She really should have paid more attention in history class. She had absolutely no idea what Tom was talking about, or why the current Queen was the reason that so many people were dying. Hopefully she was playing a more likable Queen.

"Oh...I guess I should have paid more attention during history. I guess I just have to keep my fingers crossed that I'm not a total bitch when I get to the throne." She admitted, smiling slightly.

Tom threw a glance over his shoulder at where John and the dark man were talking.

"To be honest with you, I'm not very interested in history, either. I just like telling a story; this could all be made up for all I know. However, the fact that you're allowed to speak with most of the cast before we film is a good sign. They wouldn't let Nattie talk to John, Craig - he played Wolsey - or Mike. Mike's been playing Cromwell, but I guess he gets a bigger role once John's character dies, at least, according to the producers. I'm not allowed to talk to him either. I guess we're not going to like each other very well." He explained, nodding towards the man John was speaking to, who must have been Mike.

Penny's eyes widened slightly.

"Why aren't you allowed to talk to so many people?"

He shrugged.

"Technically I wasn't supposed to talk to Nattie either, but we met prior to the movie, so there wasn't much the producers could do about it. They keep us separated so those who are supposed to hate each other don't have immediate chemistry with one another. I think you're going to have the opposite problem; they try to make those who are supposed to get along create chemistry. They'll probably make you spend a lot of time with Nathan in particular."

"Oh, I don't think I'll mind that, he seems nice."

"Be as that may, he has a girlfriend on set, and said girlfriend is none too pleased that he's going to have five other women romantically linked to his character at one time or another. You should act accordingly."

"I really don't think anyone has anything to worry about. I'm  _so_ not looking for that right now."

"This must be your first long-term movie."

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"You've got a real rookie attitude about you. It's easy to say that you're not looking for a relationship, but there's a lot of emotions and intimate scenes, especially in this movie. It's fairly challenging to resist getting caught up in all of it."

"I think I'll manage." Penny lied, trying to avoid looking into his toothy grin.

"What makes you so sure of that? Got some guy waiting for you back home?"

"Uh...something like that. Someone kind of tolerating me in the North Pole." She responded, cracking a smile at how ridiculous she sounded.

"I don't know which part is more surprising, that someone would just  _tolerate_ you, or that you have someone in the North Pole."

"He's a scientist, and I guess he has some experiment to do. Um, anyway, it was really nice meeting you, but I think I'm going to go meet some more people. You know, as long as the producers allow it."

"Yeah, that's probably a good plan. Before you go, since your scientist is in the North Pole, what are you doing tonight? I just realized that you're new to England, and you probably don't know your way around. Maybe I could show you a few of my favorite places." Tom suggested with a smirk.

Penny stared for a minute before shaking her head vigorously.

"Oh, no, sorry, I um, I can't. I already have plans for tonight. Thank you, though, I really appreciate the offer." She responded hastily, backing away from a slightly confused Tom.

"Alright, maybe next time."

"Yeah, maybe!" She called over her shoulder, escaping to meet the director, in the hopes of getting her script and, more importantly, escaping the tall, dark, handsome man who was just charming enough to get her into some real trouble.

* * *

Everyone was staring over Sheldon's shoulders as he analyzed the data from the field research the grad students had gathered.

His eidetic memory confirmed that they were different from the incorrect numbers he had gotten during his previous endeavor, which did not surprise him.

Everyone on this endeavor had fought their way into the select group, some traveling from as far as Asia just for the opportunity to be on the renowned Dr. Cooper's research team.

Yes, releasing just a bit too much information in such a short time period certainly did have its perks.

"How's the research looking, Sheldon?" Raj questioned eagerly, sitting across the small cabin, holding a beer, which he had to drink on a daily basis in order to speak to the women who had come along on the trip, knowing that he would not have to climb over all of the grad students and fellow scientists for the chance to have Sheldon's attention.

Sheldon glanced up at him briefly, then back at the crowd gathering behind him.

"I will have to dictate the information to the formulas before I can make any serious proclamations, but the data is looking very good. I am certainly hopeful that by the end of this research trip, we will all have proof of String Theory to share with the world."

The grad students and scientists immediately began talking amongst themselves excitedly, much to Sheldon's annoyance.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if we hope for this project to continue, we must not bustle around the cabin like we are once again in high school. It was the most frustrating year of my life, and I would not care to relive it." Sheldon barked, beginning to hand various assignments to each member of the team, including a slightly intoxicated Raj.

Once everyone on the team scurried to do their part in the research, Sheldon pulled out his cell phone, which he had felt buzzing against his thigh for what had seemed like hours.

He scowled when he saw that it had been Penny texting him repeatedly.

**Penny:**

**hey tex leonard said u were on the north pole. did you catch santa claus yet?** **(:**

**Penny:**

**can we talk soon i have a question about my script  
**

**Penny:**

**why did the chicken cross the road  
**

**Penny:**

**oh come on u love riddles  
**

**Penny:**

**sheldon im not going to be happy till u talk to me ):**

Sheldon sighed at the last text, frustrated at the situation that Penny was placing him in.

Against his better judgement, he decided to text her back, for the sake of keeping her happy.

"Hey Sheldon, I think some of these formulas might be wrong. Do you mind coming over here to check on them?" Raj questioned as he peered over a mortified grad student's shoulder.

Sheldon quickly hit the 'send' button, placed his phone on the desk, and strode towards Raj and the red-faced graduate student, beginning to lecture the entire team on the importance of accuracy and double-checking everything.

* * *

"So Penny, where in the United States are you from?"

Penny smiled at John's wife, Beth.

The second she had stepped into their house, Penny had known that she would like Beth. She was short and petite, with light brown hair, and warm hazel eyes that matched her dimpled smile. Instead of wearing something fancy around their large house, Beth had simply worn a long sweater with what she confessed to be leggings that just looked like nice pants.

Anyone who shared Penny's disdain for uncomfortable pants was a new friend to be made.

She wasn't famous, which made Penny like her even better. She needed some friends who weren't going to get her into too much trouble during her stay in London.

"Oh, California." She replied without hesitation.

As John and Beth jumped at the opportunity to share their own experiences with visiting California, Penny paused to think about the statement that she had just made.

She had told them that she was from California, which hadn't been a lie, but which hadn't been entirely truthful, either. She was from Nebraska, which she had told people whenever they asked. Until now, that was.

Suddenly, when she thought about the word "home", she didn't smell her mom's pies mixed with the smell of her dad's cheap cigars, hear the obnoxious barking of the coon hounds or the screaming of her siblings, nor did she see the worn out furniture that she had grown up around. Instead, she smelled take-out food, heard arguing over formulas that never made any damn sense to her, and saw a pair of piercing blue eyes.

Oh, crap.

She forced herself to smile as Beth began to tell a story about getting lost in the middle of L.A. during rush hour.

Suddenly, her phone began to chime, interrupting Beth mid-sentence.

Blushing, she pulled it out of her pocket, apologizing for forgetting to turn it on silent before entering the house.

Both John and Beth waved her apologies off with smiles on their faces, glancing down at their own cell phones as if on cue.

**Texas:**

**Penny,  
**

**I am conducting a series of very important experiments. The objective is not to catch a fictional character created for the purpose of promoting a commercial holiday, but instead to prove String Theory.**

**Texas:**

**If you have any questions about your script, I suggest you speak to your producer, a local historian, or Amy Farrah Fowler, who has extensive knowledge of English culture, past and present.**

**Texas:**

**As for your 'riddle', I can hardly qualify it as challenging, as it is very unrealistic. Chickens do not cross roads. They are detained for their intended purposes. If they attempted to cross the road, they would surely die. I assume you are content now. I would ask that you not contact me very frequently, as I am trying to change the face of science.  
**

**-Dr. S.C.**

Penny smiled to herself as she returned her gaze to John and Beth, who were looking at her curiously.

At least Sheldon was talking to her. That had to be a good sign, right?

"I'm sorry, it's just this guy from back home, he's telling me about this experiment that he's doing in the North Pole," she explained, feeling her cheeks turn red as John's dark eyes settled on her, the curious look remaining on his face.

"Ah, so that's why Tom was asking me about you today. You'd better watch out for that one, you've just made yourself far more interesting to him by telling him no." He warned, his dark eyes twinkling in amusement as a smile crawled across his face.

Penny blushed, looking down and shaking his head.

"Ugh, please, I'm not even trying to make myself more interesting. Besides, I doubt a guy like  _that_ would want a girl like  _me._ He was probably just being nice."

John and Beth both laughed.

"You haven't been on set very long, Penny. I think you may be the only woman under thirty that our Thomas doesn't have any...erm...'connections' to. You should steer clear of that one, he's notorious in the tabloids for all of the women he's seen with. Not only would it hurt your image, but I doubt your boyfriend would care to see that story in the magazines."

Penny laughed, shaking her head, but didn't bother to correct John on her relationship status.

"Oh, Sheldon doesn't read magazines, but I know what I'm doing, John. I've met guys like him before. Well, maybe not guys that  _look_ like him, but I know the type pretty well. Trust me when I say that I  _really_ don't want to be involved with that kind of guy again."

She swallowed, hoping that her facial expression wouldn't betray her. At this point, she wasn't even sure that she believed herself. She was known to have a weakness for the smooth-talking bad boys who were destined to bring her nothing but misery.

John opened his mouth to speak, but Beth quickly tapped him on the arm, interrupting him.

"Oh, John, you don't need to lecture her anymore than I'm sure you already have, she's an adult, she can handle her own affairs. So Penny, tell us about why your boyfriend is around the North Pole." She inquired with a warm smile.

John sighed good naturedly before turning to smile at Penny himself.

"Oh, he's just trying to prove String Theory. He's kind of a rock star in the world of science, from what I hear." She beamed, unable to help feeling a strange sense of pride in just talking about the quirky, lovable, frustratingly brilliant physicist.

"You must be very proud of him."

"You have no idea."

 


	16. Chapter 16

Sheldon stared down at the stack of papers cluttering the desk, scowling at the mistakes that some of the graduate students seemed to have made on such an important project.

Everyone else in the small cabin was asleep, something Sheldon envied greatly. It was 3AM; his REM sleep schedule dictated that he should have been sound asleep at this time. However, his brain had rebelled against this schedule. Every time he attempted to lay down and shut his eyes, the pictures of Penny he had seen on the front page of Yahoo news had appeared in his mind.

She had been with men from her movie; Penny seemed to be making a splash in London, something that didn't surprise Sheldon in the least.

Despite his expectations, he had still felt like he was being punched in the stomach at the sight of the pictures. He thought that he would at least be able to escape Penny at the North Pole.

He snorted at how ridiculous the thought seemed to be now.

Of course Penny was going to make escaping her difficult. Being difficult was something Penny excelled in.

With a heavy sigh, Sheldon sank into a chair and began correcting all of the errors absentmindedly.

He couldn't even rely on Raj's work, now that his friend of lesser self-control had become interested in one of the brighter graduate students that had tagged along, Alex.

"Illogical," he growled, resenting mankind as a whole for being such slaves to emotions.

Allowing Penny to influence such a large aspect of his daily existence was unacceptable. He was clearly a more important component of the universe. Instead of re-enacting history inaccurately, he was discovering the truths of the universe and everything it comprised of. Penny should have been the one struggling.

"Dr. Cooper?" He heard a soft voice question.

He looked up in surprise, not expecting anyone to be wandering around the cabin at such an hour.

"Ah, Dr. Fischer. What are you doing up at this hour?"

Dr. Fischer, a young woman who had made a most compelling case for accompanying the team, pursed her lips, sitting down at the other side of the table, facing Sheldon with a concerned expression.

"I saw your lantern on through a crack in my door and wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything too important."

"I am simply correcting the work that some of our lesser team members have been doing over the past few weeks. I suggest that you return to bed. We have a long day of calculations and analysis tomorrow. I will not excuse you due to lack of sleep."

"Don't you worry, I wouldn't want to miss a second of this project. I couldn't sleep, anyway. Judging from the bags under your eyes, you haven't been able to sleep for a while now, either."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed.

"I have been consumed with the desire to know more about the information on our hands. Proving String Theory would make me the most revolutionary scientist of our time. I could surpass Stephen Hawking."

"Oh, really? I just can't stop thinking about someone. I thought that might be your problem as well."

Sheldon looked up curiously in spite of himself.

While Dr. Fischer was intelligent, she had no reason to know about Penny. He had slammed his laptop shut the second he had seen the pictures of Penny flit across the screen. He had avoided talking about her with Raj, who had been too distracted with his lust for Alex to notice. He had even gone as far as excusing himself when he received a text message from Penny.

"I...I assure you that I don't..."

"Oh, Dr. Cooper, you don't have to pretend. No one else is awake, and you've got me right where you want me. I know I've been playing hard to get, but I can see that you don't really like to play games," her eyes flicked over Sheldon as the corner of her mouth curled into a devious grin.

Sheldon blinked.

"While I appreciate your enthusiasm for the project, I assure you, my goal was not to get you at the table at three in the morning in order to assist me. I am perfectly capable of fixing all of these errors by myself. As for your reference to playing games, I am sorry for rejecting your offer to play a game of Words With Friends earlier. I am currently engrossed in a game with Stephen Hawking that requires my full attention. Perhaps I will play against you once I defeat him. I apologize if my lantern woke you up. I will continue my work in my own quarters. Good evening, Dr. Fischer."

She stared back at him stupidly as he stood up, collecting the papers in his arms, and shuffled towards his tiny bedroom.

* * *

"So Penny, how's your scientist in the North Pole doing? Has he asked you to take him back yet?" Nathan questioned as he, Penny, and John strolled down an empty street towards their favorite cafe.

Penny had long since explained her situation with Sheldon to John and Nathan, tired of pretending that her relationship with the lanky physicist was even remotely close to normal.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

She couldn't help but notice people turning to look their way as they walked; something Nathan and John seemed oblivious to.

Most days, she could hardly believe that she was such close friends with famous actors like Nathan and John. It would randomly startle her how comfortable she was speaking in front of these people, in the middle of a new country that suddenly knew her name. Despite her constant feeling of disbelief, she couldn't help but feel perfectly at ease with everyone on set, John and Nathan in particular. They were just people, after all. Granted, they were ridiculously good looking people, but still, people all the same.

"No, he's sort of oblivious to everything having to do with other people. You'd understand if you met him. Well...actually, he would probably confuse you more. How are things with Nattie? I read the scene for her execution and started bawling in the middle of my dressing room. Tom walked in and just walked right out. It was  _so_ embarrassing." She giggled.

Nathan laughed while John glanced at Penny, giving her the same stern look that he always had to spare when she talked about Tom.

John didn't exactly make a secret of his disdain for Tom's romantic life, nor did he pretend that he was uninterested in how Tom and Penny interacted. He had taken Penny under his wing, and wasn't going to let Tom ruin her in order to satisfy his lust.

"She's coming to terms with it, slowly. Did you read about how mean she's going to get towards you? She's already practicing saying some of it without laughing. As it stands, she hasn't gotten very far."

Penny and John both laughed at the thought.

While the producers had tried to keep the two girls apart, they had run into each other and had instantly taken a liking to each other. Ever since, it had been pretty hard to act as if they were enemies.

"I'm sure Natalie will surprise us all. She's very talented." John said, nodding towards Nathan, who smiled back.

"She is, but you underestimate how difficult it is to act indifferent towards someone, especially when you can't help but like them. I've had a lot of difficulties working through our characters' fall-outs." Nathan admitted, shrugging off his jacket as they sat down outside.

John chuckled.

"I have been fortunate enough to get a character who seems to generally like everyone."

"Sometimes I think the only people I'm allowed to converse with are Penny and Tom. You two should stand together more often on set. It's difficult running in between you." Nathan chuckled, leaning back in his seat comfortably.

John's eyes narrowed as he glanced at Penny.

"Nathan, you know if I stood anywhere  _near_ Tom, John would be right there to separate us again. He has no faith in me." Penny responded, grinning at John, who sighed.

"I have confidence in you, just not  _him._ You create enough gossip for the tabloids as it is." John teased, glancing up at the waitress who had come to take their order.

"I'll have a coffee, thank you. John, don't be such an ass. You know I have nothing to do with all of the rumors going around. Besides, I'm pretty sure it was  _your_ fault we ended up on the home page of Yahoo news yesterday. Weren't you the one telling me that I just  _had_ to try fish and chips at your favorite stand?" Penny countered.

Nathan grinned as he looked between Penny and John.

John finished his order before turning to laugh at Penny.

"Oh, I know, I had fun joking with Beth about it. She thinks we should just adopt you in order to stop all of the rumors."

Penny burst out laughing, drawing even more attention from everyone else around them.

"That might not be the smartest move publicity-wise, but it would certainly create an interesting dynamic on set. Your scientist might be a little confused if he returned to meet a new father of yours, though." Nathan reminded her with a chuckle.

"You know, I think that would be the  _least_ of Sheldon's worries. Ugh, I'm still trying to think of what I'm going to say to him when I visit home." Penny groaned, sinking her face into her hands as Nathan collected the menus to hand to the departing waitress.

"Maybe you should just tell him your feelings." John suggested as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

Penny rolled her eyes, lifting her head up in order to shake it at him.

"You've never met Sheldon. Talking about feelings is  _never_ the way to go with him. I've been texting him a little bit, but that's always me asking him what he's doing and getting some explanation that I don't understand."

"I've seen a few of his texts, they really don't make a damn bit of sense." Nathan agreed, accepting his coffee from a gawking waitress.

Penny accepted her own coffee and took a sip, burning the tip of her tongue slightly.

After they had finished their coffee, Nathan quickly excused himself.

"Nattie just texted me asking me to read over a few lines with her. She's still trying to get her threats to Cromwell down without laughing. I wish she could just practice with Mike. I'm getting sick of hearing her tell me that she can still take me out of civil society." He chuckled, nodding towards Penny and John before laying down enough money to cover the entire bill and wandering off in the direction of where they were filming.

"Should we head back as well?" John questioned, smiling at Penny.

"Ugh, no thank you, the weird new guy who plays my brother keeps asking to run lines with me."

"So?"

"We don't have any lines together. He just keeps trying to get me into his dressing room."

"Ah."

They both laughed as they walked down the street in the opposite direction of the set.

"So John, I've kind of been wanting to ask you something for a while."

"Penny, I already told you, Beth is on board to adopt you. We're just waiting for you to sign the papers."

Penny smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I'm serious."

"Alright, then I will do my best to give you a serious answer."

"When did you know that you loved Beth?"

John smiled, keeping his eyes fixated on the road ahead.

"I knew almost immediately after I saw her for the first time."

"You're kidding."

"I am not. I was filming my first movie in a small town near my sister's house and some of my cast mates convinced me to go to a local pub with them. It was karaoke night at this particular pub. When we got in there, this ridiculous woman was on stage."

"Beth?"

John nodded.

"I didn't know Beth could sing." Penny mused.

"She can't." John assured her with a grin.

Penny laughed as he continued.

"She was  _horrible,_ everyone in the pub was suffering, I'm sure, but she didn't seem to care one bit. She was having a good time jumping around the stage singing. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. So, after her horrible performance, I bought her a drink and asked if I could see her again. The very next day she joined my nephews and me at the pumpkin patch. As soon as I turned my back on them for a moment, she was racing them down a hill on those silly wagons they have lying around. I saw her flying past me with a big smile on her face and I just knew that I had to have her."

Penny looked at him and smiled.

She was expecting something slightly more refined from John, but somehow, she liked this unrefined story a lot better. It wasn't perfect, but it was  _real,_  and that made it better than any fictional love story Penny could think of.

Maybe there was hope for her own perfect imperfection.

* * *

"Dr. Cooper." Dr. Fischer demanded, throwing the door to the tiny lab open, exposing Sheldon to the biting cold.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows at her.

"I believe I informed you earlier this morning that you would be working to analyze the data we collected. You did not request lab time." He reminded her, gesturing towards the sign-up sheet.

Dr. Fischer's eyes narrowed as she strode towards Sheldon, a dark look taking over her face.

Sheldon folded his arms across his chest, preparing himself for an argument.

He had always gotten along with Dr. Fischer, but he understood that cabin-fever could be having its effects on the woman. While she was a scientist, she was still a human. He could sympathize with that.

"Do you understand what I was telling you last night?"

Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you still upset about Words With Friends? Dr. Fischer, while I respect you as a scientist, I thought you would have understood that Stephen Hawking, my intellectual rival, would take priority over you. If you're this upset, I suppose you could get Scrabble out of Rajesh's room for a quick game. However, a word game is  _hardly_ a reason to be upset."

Dr. Fischer's glower darkened.

"I don't care about any damn word game."

"Then...?" Sheldon began to ask.

Before he could articulate his question, Dr. Fischer grabbed the back of his neck, bringing his head down to her level and pressing her lips firmly against his.

* * *

There was a knock on Penny's dressing room door, followed by the creaking of the door opening.

Penny looked over her shoulder to see Tom standing in the doorway, grinning sheepishly.

"Hey Tom, what can I do you for?" She questioned, draping her arm over the back of her chair as she turned to face him.

"I was wondering if I could run a few lines with you. I know that I'm supposed to read them with my 'wife'," he said with an amused grin, "but she isn't really speaking to me right now. We're having some...ehm... _artistic differences_."

"Right," Penny smirked, grabbing her script off of her desk and standing up to approach Tom.

He shrugged, accepting Penny's amused stare.

"Thanks, uh, so you want to start on page twenty-seven? I think I have the first line. I'm admitting to having a mistress, I think."

"Sounds about right."

Tom smirked at Penny's joke, but continued.

After reading a couple of lines off, Penny began to realize just how blue Tom's eyes were.

A couple more lines were said when Penny noticed how strong his jawline looked.

A few more lines were spoken when Penny observed how his eyebrows knit together, causing him to look like he was actually concerned about her.

"And Catherine, I  _promise_ it will never happen again. Please, forgive me. I will spend the rest of my existence working to regain your trust," he growled, his blue eyes fixed on Penny's as he took her hand in his.

She could feel her skin tingling under his touch.

Before she could think about what she was doing, she felt herself leaning closer to Tom, who easily leaned towards her, quickly filling the space between them.

As their lips touched, her cell phone rang, causing Penny to jump back quickly.

Her hands shaking, she brought the cell phone to her ear.

"H-hello? Oh, Leonard...hey,"

 


	17. Chapter 17

"What? Are you serious? He really did it?" Penny questioned loudly, ignoring Tom, who was staring at her in bemusement.

"That's amazing! Thank you for calling me, sweetie! Um, I...I have to go. I'll talk to you guys later!" Penny exclaimed, hanging up her phone quickly.

Tom leaned against her wall, looking at her for an explanation.

"I'm sorry. I can't run lines with you anymore. He did it! Um, I'll see you on set tomorrow." She explained hastily, sparing Tom a quick grin before bounding out of her dressing room, running towards the set at full speed.

Tom stared after her, a smug grin plastered on his face.

"He did it! He did it! John, he did it!" Penny hollered as she ran towards the set, interrupting what looked like a serious moment in the movie.

Everyone turned to look at her, the director scowling.

John looked around before looking at the sprinting Penny curiously.

Penny caught him in a tight hug before he could ask her what was going on or scold her for interrupting the filming process in the middle of such a dramatic scene.

He placed one hand lightly on her back as he stared at the director apologetically.

"Erm, do you want to fill me in here? Who did what?" He mumbled into her shoulder.

"Sheldon! Sheldon just proved String Theory!"

* * *

"What are you going to do when we land in California? You're going to be  _famous_ now, dude! You going to get free drinks in any bar at any university with a good science program for the rest of your life!" Raj exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear as they sat on the plane home.

Alex peered over Raj at Sheldon, excited to be part of such a successful social circle.

Sheldon glanced at Raj through narrowed eyes.

"I do not wish to extort ethyl alcohol from those seeking higher education."

Raj snorted.

"As long as you mention me in your research, it's more alcohol for me, then."

"I was unaware that there was an alcohol to person ration. Is that a new law in place?"

Raj and Alex both rolled their eyes at Sheldon's ignorance before continuing the conversation.

"You'd better treat me to a drink every once in a while, Dr. Koothrappali. Otherwise you might have to find some bimbo who doesn't even know what a proton is." Alex giggled, placing her hand on Raj's arm lightly, commanding his attention.

Sheldon observed this interaction, but quickly looked away in disinterest.

He had his own affairs to be concerned with. He did not need to worry about Raj's social dalliances.

"Oh, so Sheldon, a few guys were saying that they saw Dr. Fischer in the lab with you a few hours before you came to us with the proof of String Theory. Dude, nice," Raj encouraged, offering his hand out for a high five.

Sheldon glowered at the hand.

"There is nothing to compliment. Dr. Fischer occupied the lab at the same time as me prior to the compiling of information and data. She had very little to do with the proof, aside from the work you saw her contributing."

"No…Sheldon, I meant that…"

"Attention all passengers: we will be landing in LAX airport soon. Please remain in your seats."

Sheldon's ears perked up as he glanced out the window.

"Sheldon," Raj said, drawing Sheldon's attention back to the pointless conversation he had been trying to start.

Sheldon let out an exasperated sigh before turning his attention back to Raj.

"I've heard that you and Dr. Fischer are a  _thing._ I just wanted to say congrats, dude. I know how hard it was for you to get over Penny."

Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed.

"I am certainly not involved in a romantic pairing with Dr. Fischer, if that's what you're suggesting. I do not know where you got your false information, nor am I particularly concerned with the source. Please dispel any more rumors you hear about me, as they are likely made from the same incorrect stock."

Raj looked at Sheldon curiously as the plane rocked through the landing.

It was a minor mistake, yet Sheldon was  _seething_  over it. His shoulders were rising and falling as he breathed heavily, glowering at the headrest in front of him.

"Look, Sheldon, I'm sorry that the rumors upset you, I just thought…"

"Clearly you thought wrong."

Raj sighed, understanding that Sheldon was going to be difficult to deal with.

Then mention of Penny often did cause Sheldon to become unbearable, especially since their mysterious break up at the airport.

"Alright dude, let's just go get our stuff out of baggage claim. Leonard and Howard are picking us up at the gate. If Dr. Gablehauser isn't stalking you there, of course," Raj teased, standing up and collecting his carry-on bag as the plane came shuddering to a stop.

"No," Sheldon said slowly, collecting his messenger bag as everyone began to stand up.

"No?"

"No."

"What do you mean by no?"

"I meant that your suggestion is unacceptable. Honestly, Raj, I thought you had a better grasp of the English language than this."

"Alright, well, what do you think you want to do, then? Is there some airport song you have to sing, or sanitation process you have to go through?" Raj questioned, slightly exasperated by Sheldon's increasingly neurotic behavior.

Sheldon rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a  _child._ I just have somewhere else to be."

"What do you mean? Did you already schedule press releases? Should I go?"

"No. I'm just doing another experiment."

Raj and Alex both looked up eagerly.

The world was just finding out that Sheldon Cooper experiments were pure gold. They had already secured their prominence in the scientific community by being on the team that proved String Theory. If they attained positions on another team of his, they would be legends.

"What experiment? What's your hypothesis?" Raj inquired quickly.

The corner of Sheldon's mouth twitched into a slightly smile.

"I want to see how selfish behavior by one human being affects the happiness of another human being."

Having explained himself, Sheldon quickly exited the plane, walking briskly through the airport as Raj and Alex stared after him.

"I didn't know that Dr. Cooper was involved in social experiments. Is he expanding his portfolio?" Alex asked, looking at a grinning Raj for some kind of explanation.

"I wouldn't call it expanding his portfolio as much as I would ' _growing a pair'_." He chuckled, placing his arm around Alex's shoulders.

* * *

Penny was pacing around the set frantically, eager to work through as many scenes as she possibly could for the day.

Sheldon had proved String Theory, which meant that he would be returning to his apartment shortly.

The faster she got done all of her scenes, the earlier she could leave England and return to Pasadena until it came time to go to interviews and premiers of the movie.

"Someone's jumpy today. Did you over-do it on the coffee again?" Tom questioned, striding over to Penny.

She looked at him, rolling her eyes at his toothy grin.

"No, I just really want to go home, now. You know Sheldon, that guy who was in the North Pole? He made this huge discovery and now he's going home. I just  _really_ want to be there for this party that our friends are throwing for him."

Tom raised an eyebrow at her.

"That guy you've been pining over for months? Was that the guy you were on the phone with?"

"Um, no, that was Leonard."

Tom's eyebrow moved up even higher.

"Did the other guy call you afterwards to tell you himself?"

"Well, no..." Penny responded quietly, her smile fading slightly.

Tom frowned, his eyebrows knitting together as he bent down slightly to make eye contact with her.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Penny. I hate to see someone like you getting slighted by some guy."

"He's been really busy and, besides, he was kind of mad at me for a while."

"What would anyone have to be mad at you about?"

"I kind of got this role because I knew Rodger and my first meeting with Rodger wasn't exactly the most business-like situation. I mean, it's not like I prostituted myself and even Rodger said that it was totally a one-time thing. He says he just told me about the audition because I looked like I could play the part, but..."

Tom nodded, focusing intently on Penny as she began to ramble about her situation, occasionally throwing in a few words of 'support'.

By the end of her rambling, Penny could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

She had gone on for weeks thinking that her relationship with Sheldon would be redeemable once she got back to Pasadena, but after getting a reality check from Tom, she wasn't so sure.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it, maybe he's just trying to give you your own space." Tom suggested lightly.

Penny shook her head.

"No, I've  _told_ him that I want to talk to him. I don't know, maybe he's just over me."

"I don't know how anyone could even try to get over someone like you."

Penny sniffled, wiping her eyes as she tried to smile at Tom.

"Thanks, but you don't need to feel too bad for me. I've got wine and chocolate back in my dressing room. Who knows, maybe I'll drunk dial the bastard and ask him what the deal is myself." She joked.

Tom smiled, nodding at her.

"That sounds like a good plan. Maybe I'll drop by after I'm done shooting my scenes for the day." He suggested with a coy grin.

As Penny opened her mouth to come up with an excuse to avoid seeing him, John strode over to them, glancing between Tom and Penny with a stern expression.

"Tom, Nathan was just looking for you. Apparently you have a scene where you discuss the slaughter of a village." John said coolly, staring at Tom evenly.

Tom grinned, seemingly unbothered by John's attitude.

"Slaughtering that village, right! You know, I  _knew_ there was something I still had to do today. Thanks for the heads-up, John. Penny, I'll see you tonight."

Penny felt her face burn as John quickly turned his attention to her, no longer staring at the fleeing Tom.

"Penny," he started in a low growl.

"John," she countered, setting her hands on her hips.

"I thought you were excited to visit Sheldon when you were done filming."

Penny squirmed uncomfortably.

"I was...I  _am_...I just don't know if he's excited to see me."

John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Did you come to this conclusion by yourself, or did Tom plant that seed in your mind?"

"By myself...kind of. I don't know. Am I being stupid, John? I mean, I have to text Sheldon like, a hundred times just to get him to tell me about his day. He  _loves_  talking about himself, it's weird!"

"I don't think involving yourself with Tom is going to help you work things out with Sheldon."

"Maybe I just  _can't_ work things out with him, though. Maybe this will be a good thing. I know you don't like Tom, but maybe he's not as bad as you think. Maybe he'll be different around me."

"Famous last words." John advised as Penny turned to return to her dressing room.

* * *

Sheldon's leg was bouncing nervously as he sat on the plane, glancing at his watch each moment that passed, eager to once again be in Penny's presence.

The flight attendants were all looking at each other in the back of the plane, unsure of how to handle the crazy man that had boarded their flight and proceeded to disinfect every seat on first class with wet wipes. He was making a lot of insane demands and each time one of them passed by his seat, he would stop them just to discuss why trains were a better form of transportation.

Sheldon didn't seem to notice, or care, about the flight attendants' concern as he continued to stare at the map in front of him.

He only had an hour before he was re-united with Penny and he had hardly thought his decision through.

He would need to buy more clothes, that was a given. All of his soaps, sanitizers, and shampoos had been taken away at the airport, which meant he would certainly need to restock on those items as soon as humanly possible.

And then, of course, he needed to figure out just what he was going to say to the blonde starlet.

She was likely in a romantic pairing with one of the gentlemen she had been in pictures with. Penny was  _always_ in a romantic pairing with  _someone._ This issue likely stemmed from her need for acceptance, a need which her father had single-handedly created by constantly reminding Penny that he would have preferred a son. Perhaps that was also where her aversion to functional relationships came from. He would certainly have to discuss these ideas with Mrs. Hofstader.

_Focus, Sheldon,_ he scolded himself mentally, checking his watch once again.

* * *

"Oh, my god, you're a nerd!" Penny giggled, sitting on the couch of her dressing room with Tom, who had a large laptop resting on his lap.

"Oh, come on, you've never played World of Warcraft? It's the game of champions!" He protested, gesturing towards his character with an amused smirk of his own.

"Here I thought that you were this super cool guy who rode motorcycles and saved orphans out of burning buildings. Instead you're this cyber guy who rides virtual ostriches. Ohmygod I can't handle this," She continued, still laughing as she clutched a glass of wine.

"I'll have you know, I have saved many of my teammates multiple times." He shot back, unbothered by Penny's teasing.

"Oh, well, that's very noble of you." Penny agreed sarcastically, grinning as Tom rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm glad you finally agree. Now, my character has been alone with his ostrich entirely too much since this movie has started. My team doesn't understand the time-suck that it can get to be."

"You mean there aren't other famous actors on your team playing World of Warcraft? I'm shocked."

"Alright, little miss sarcasm, I was going to invite you to join me, but if you'd rather not, I can leave you to your wine and chocolate."

Penny bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Oh, what the hell, the guys back home stopped playing Halo because of me. I can probably figure this one out."

"There you go, joining my nerd legion. This was part of my plan all along." Tom joked, handing over his laptop.

Penny rolled her eyes at him before focusing on the screen of the laptop.

"So, what do I do?"

"You'll probably want to start out with making your own character."

"Yeah, that might be best."

Tom grinned as he leaned closer to her, getting a better look at what her character was going to look like.

"Okay, what do I do now?" She questioned, her eyebrows knitting together as she led her character around the virtual world aimlessly, unsure of how to pick a fight with anyone.

Tom sighed, still grinning, as he took the laptop off of Penny's lap, placing it on his own as he guided her character.

"Hey! No fair! I thought you were going to let me play! Or did you just want to use me for my registration email? Oh, my god, you wanted to have another character to play with, didn't you?" She giggled, popping a piece of chocolate in her mouth as Tom shook his head at her.

"You caught me, I just wanted to wander around as a woman named Queen Penelope. Nice name, by the way." He responded with a toothy grin that made Penny's heart falter.

"I'm sorry we can't all have cool names like Thomas Endor the Defender." She countered with a smile, glancing down at the computer as Tom fought virtual opponents.

* * *

Sheldon wandered around the set of Penny's movie hopelessly, searching for one of the producers he had met with.

Instead, he was surrounded by a bunch of people in costume who were giving him the same looks that he received from.. _._ well, almost everybody, now that he came to think of it.

After a few minutes of looking around and attempting to read the signs on the walls, Sheldon recognized a man standing a few feet away from him as one of the men that Penny had been photographed with.

If anyone was going to know where she was, it would likely be this man.

Sheldon clenched his jaw as he strode towards the man, attempting to pick out any features that would cause him to be aesthetically displeasing to Penny.

_His features suggest that he is no longer at the prime age to reproduce,_ Sheldon thought smugly, his posture straightening slightly as he gained confidence.

_His hair looks very fluffy. I'm sure he sheds a great deal,_ Sheldon nodded to himself, feeling more and more confident as he approached this man.

_I'll bet he knows nothing of science or even the historical accuracy of the movie he's in,_ Sheldon wheezed out a laugh at his own thought, inadvertently drawing the attention of the man he had been mentally criticizing.

He cleared his throat, straightening himself out a little more, just to make sure he was taller than this man.

"Hello. I presume you're in the movie, judging from the costume you're wearing. Though, just as a fun-fact, your clothing would have been out of style by the time Henry VIII was married to Anne Boleyn. His brother, Arthur, wore something similar at his own funeral. Anyway, I understand that you are acquainted with Penny Marshall. I would like to speak with her."

"You must be Sheldon."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows at the man before regulating his facial expression.

Of course he was getting recognized by civilians. He was this generation's Albert Einstein.

"Yes, you may call me Dr. Cooper. Now, where is Penny?"

"Come on, I think I know where she might be. You can call me John, by the way."

 


	18. Chapter 18

"Alright Penny, tell me honestly, why do you blow me off every time I ask you to hang out?" Tom questioned, relaxing against the couch as he bit off the end of a chocolate bar.

Penny took a long sip of wine, then shrugged.

"Because I know your type and I know better than to get involved with someone like you."

"My type?"

"Mhm. You're that really attractive guy that's never had to work for a girl's attention, so you're just not used to putting in effort when it comes to dating. Plus, I've heard you slept with like, half of the women on set, so there's that." She responded with a slight smile.

"Never had to work for a girl's attention? Do you know what they used to call me in grade school? Thomas the Tank. You know why? I was  _huge._ "

Penny bit her upper lip.

Well, at least he didn't try to argue about sleeping with half of the women on set.

"Besides, I'm not asking you to  _marry_ me; you just seem like a lot of fun to be around. Nathan and John certainly can't get enough of you and they're usually pretty good judges of character."

"I thought you and John hated each other."

Tom threw his head back laughing.

"No, we've worked together before, we don't  _hate_ each other. Well, I don't hate John, I should say. I can't account for his own feelings. He's just somewhat of a father figure to me, as well as everyone else on set. I suppose he thinks that you need protecting from me, after seeing how I've behaved around women in the past and present. He didn't seem to believe me when I said I was only interested in being your friend."

Penny raised her eyebrows.

"You just want to be my friend?"

"Are you offended?" Tom questioned, his mouth curving into an amused grin.

"No, it's just...you kissed me."

Tom laughed, shaking his head.

"No,  _you_ kissed  _me."_

"You kissed me back."

Tom shrugged, raising his hands in defeat.

"If a beautiful girl kisses me, I'm not going to stop her. I knew that you didn't mean it, anyway. I told you early on how easy it was to get caught up in the acting, especially with a movie like this. I didn't count it as a real kiss and I doubt you did either. You've got that scientist back home and you've got John watching over you like a father on prom night. It would be too complicated to even  _try_ to hook up with you." He said, with a toothy grin.

"Well...but...you put down Sheldon before and...you came over here to hang out with me," Penny reminded him.

Tom chuckled, shutting his laptop and setting it on Penny's cluttered side table.

"I was just asking you about your relationship as kind of a research opportunity. I didn't mean to put down your boyfriend, I was just trying to listen and interpret what you were saying. I was practicing all of that in order to talk to this girl I just met. I think you might know her. Lacey in makeup? She's got a boyfriend, but I think I might be able to talk her out of it. Besides, do you really think that I would ask you to join my team on World of Warcraft if I were interested in sleeping with you? Give me a little more credit than that. That would tear apart the whole legion. Plus, it would either ruin my friendship with John, or even worse, you would find some way to get me to jump into a commitment and it would end my hobby of getting to know every woman on the set of each movie I'm in."

Penny smiled at him, slightly relieved that she could hang out with Tom without worrying about any ulterior motives or underlying emotions.

"So, do you want to play, or not? I promise I'll actually let you battle for yourself this time."

"Actually, I think there's somewhere else I need to be."

Tom's eyebrows raised in slight surprise as Penny stood up, grabbing her purse off the back of her chair.

"I thought you were done filming for the day."

"I never said it had to do with filming, now did I, nosy rosy?"

"No, I guess you didn't," Tom chuckled, standing up, "want me to join you?"

Penny shook her head, smiling to herself.

"You know, I  _really_ don't."

Tom raised his eyebrows at her.

"Um, feel free to play your game in here if you want. The leftover wine and chocolate is all yours if you want it. Now that I'm making serious money, I can afford to buy a little bit more. I'll see you later." She said, rushing out the door.

* * *

"I thought you were taking me to Penny." Sheldon muttered irritably as John led him through the crowded streets of London.

John looked at Sheldon in amusement.

Everything that Penny had said about him had been spot-on.

"I am taking you to Penny. She has a certain place she likes to go to fairly frequently. She thinks that no one on set knows where she goes when she disappears for a few hours."

"And you do?"

John smiled, looking back at a sulking Sheldon.

"Dr. Cooper, you don't need to be worried about Penny when it comes to  _me._ I'm happily married. More than that, I'm old enough to be her father. We're just good friends. She is a very special kind of girl. You don't find someone like Penny Marshall just every day." He reminded Sheldon with a knowing look.

"Yes, she is very special." Sheldon allowed, eyeing John suspiciously.

John chuckled to himself before stopping in front of their destination.

"Where are we?" Sheldon demanded, looking around wildly.

He hated being in unfamiliar places, especially now that he was at the mercy of this fluffy-haired British man who seemed to know Penny.

"The train museum. Don't ask me why Penny likes to come here, I just know that she does. Whenever the director can't find her, I can usually find her here. She always sits at this one exhibit in particular. Come on, I'll show you."

Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed as he followed John through the entrance, looking around for any signs of Penny, observing any train facts that he didn't already know in the process.

Eventually, John halted abruptly, nodding towards a blonde woman sitting on a bench, staring at the exhibit in front of her.

Sheldon sucked in a deep breath before approaching her.

* * *

"Penny."

She whipped around, startled by the voice behind her.

"S-Sheldon?" Penny questioned, blinking rapidly as she stared at him stupidly.

She couldn't go to the train museum without thinking about Sheldon - that's why she liked going so much - sitting in front of the exhibit that resembled the one in Pasadena made her feel like she was really with Sheldon. Sometimes she could even hear him spouting off random train facts.

This time, however, was much different. His image wasn't disappearing; he was standing there staring her down while John grinned at them in the background.

"Sheldon!" She finally squealed, throwing her arms around his neck as she pulled him into a forceful hug.

"There, there." He mumbled awkwardly, ghosting his hand over her back.

She pulled away from him to stare up at his red face, grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe you're here! Why are you here? I mean, I was going to go home to congratulate you, but we're not done filming here, and I..." she tried to explain, pulling him back into yet another hug, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"That's what I've come here to talk to you about."

Penny sighed, releasing Sheldon.

"You know that I can't leave."

"I do."

"Then what do you think we need to talk about?"

Sheldon's intense gaze persisted as Penny stared down at the ground.

"Penny, I've tried to make you happy from the day I first met you. Unfortunately, I can't keep doing that. Instead, I'm giving way to my more selfish motives."

Penny stared back at him in confusion.

"I must have you, in every sense of the word. I understand that you must stay in England in order to complete your film and I would be willing to find a place nearby to reside, until you were able to return to Pasadena. However, I will not lose you to men like Rodger, or the other male I saw in the picture with you the other day. Nor will I accept being apart from you for long periods of time. I want to be able to incorporate you into my daily schedule, without worrying about any variances."

Penny blinked.

"Sheldon, I don't know what you mean...are you just moving here? Because I really have to talk to you about something before you do."

Sheldon stared back at her blankly.

Penny closed her eyes, drawing in a sharp breath before explaining.

"I kind of kissed this guy earlier, but it didn't mean anything. We just talked about it a little while ago. He's trying to sleep with some other girl. I think you might even like him, he plays World of Warcraft," she rambled, feeling her face burn as Sheldon continued staring at her.

"That's perfectly alright. A woman kissed me while I was in the North Pole. It seems that we are both aesthetically pleasing towards the opposite gender." Sheldon replied calmly.

"Wait, you're not mad?"

"Should I be mad?" He questioned, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

She shook her head, surprised at his calm behavior.

"No...I...I'm just surprised, that's all."

"We were not involved in a romantic pairing when you kissed the man you are referring to. I would just ask that you not repeat the action."

Penny smiled at him, relieved that he wasn't upset.

He stared at her for a moment before licking his lips, regaining his business-like composure.

"This is a modified relationship agreement I wrote a while back," Sheldon responded, holding a thick stack of paper towards Penny.

Penny accepted the stack of paper, flipping through the pages curiously.

"I'm not going to lie, Sheldon, I have no idea what the hell I'm reading." She admitted, feeling herself blush as she smiled at him sheepishly.

Sheldon sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Did you not pay attention in high school English, either?"

"Just tell me what it says, you ass."

"I want you to marry me." He explained, his blue eyes piercing through hers.

Penny gaped at him.

"Wha...?" She sputtered incredulously, glancing back at John for some kind of explanation.

John shrugged, grinning between the two.

"Marry me, Penny Marshall. My existence will hardly be tolerable if you are not a constant variable in my life every day for the rest of my days. I tried to bear being separated from you, for the sake of your happiness," he frowned slightly at the recollection, "but I'm sorry to say that I am still the selfish person I was prior to meeting you. I cannot experience the pain of losing you again. Please, be mine. I would spend the rest of my life working to make you happy in return."

Penny stared at him with wide eyes.

He was serious. His eyes were boring into her, searching her face for an answer. The contract was resting in her shaking hands.

After a moment, she realized that both he and John were was staring at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Hell yes." She muttered shakily, feeling her legs turn to Jello as she began to laugh, her eyes watering.

"Yes?" Sheldon echoed, his eyes still scanning her face, like he didn't quite believe her.

"Yes, I'll marry you, you perfect ass." She laughed, throwing her hands around his neck to pull him into a tight hug once again.

She could feel her tears soaking part of Sheldon's shirt, but couldn't bring herself to care.

She was engaged.

Better than that, she was engaged to Sheldon Cooper and she wasn't even a little bit scared about it.

"I love you, Penny." Sheldon murmured, lowering his head slightly as he rested his hand on her back.

"I love you more, Shelly." Penny assured him, smiling into his shoulder.

"Are you...happy?" He questioned nervously as she separated herself from him.

She nudged his side with her shoulder, grinning up at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I couldn't be happier, sweetie."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, thus ends the tale of Sheldon and Penny! I hope you enjoyed it! :)


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